How to stop drinking

[Eric]

One of my favorite lines in AA's Big Book concerns the thinking of alcoholics. It states, "They are over-remorseful and make many resolutions, but never a decision." That sums up my behavior exactly. I always woke up with a hangover, feeling awful, with a vague resolution to never drink again...which never lasted very long. There is a huge difference between "I am trying to quit drinking" and "I have quit drinking." I make a firm decision each morning that just for that day I will not drink. I have never liked New Years Eve very much, so tonight will not be a problem. I think I have been awake for about 4 of them over the last 30 years. Still, I wish everyone a happy and sober new year!

[Samantha]

Wishing everyone a Happy sober New Year for 2012. Eric I meant to congratulate you on 30 plus days awhile ago but holidays have gotten the best of me! Congrats to you as that is amazing and congrats to you too Sally! I dont remember that line from the Big Book so thanks for sharing it. I have made alot of resolutions to stop drinking but until I meant it in my heart and made the decision it didnt happen. I still can romanticize drinking which scares me. But my fear of starting the addiction cycle again has kept me sober. There are times I really want to drink but my fear of that addiction cycle is so strong I just can't go back to that.

Pearl I have had those same issues with sugar. I have never been a big sweet eater but after quitting alcohol it started pretty intense. I'm hoping the more sober I get the less the cravings will be for sugar but dont know.

[nicolelee]

Happy New Year to everybody! It is early morning here, woke up at 6am, hubby said what are you doing up so early!? Had an uneventful night last night but sleeping sorta restless. Having gone 30 days before, I feel like I never accepted the fact that I am an alcoholic, just said to myself maybe I have a little problem. I feel acceptance is the key here, acceptance of oneself as well as the way things are around us that we cannot change, sounds like the serenity prayer, huh!? Going to one AA meeting really has shed a light and just saying I have a problem with alcohol...I am an alcoholic. I don't like saying it but I do believe it down in my heart and things will be much much better the more I accept it. Wow, feels like a revelation.

Cordelia- I sure can relate to you, I have 4 kids and a hubby, drinking is/was the #1 source of stress relief, but so not worth it the next day! I use/used the excuse of stress and feeling overwhelmed to justify my drinking everyday (as well as social anxiety)! I just want to escape all the craziness and being pulled in every direction, it is a very easy "out" but a truly horrible cycle. It will definitely be my goal in the new year also to find non-drinking ways to relieve my stresses. It is a hard habit to break but we can do it!

Neil- I will be checking in a lot today, I know how you feel waiting for feedback! I hope you feel well today and keep taking it one day at a time! Remember, every baby step counts!

Thanks for all your feedback, I feel like I will be able to get through the party without drinking, actually it will be, and always is, interesting watching others. I just won't take that first drink. Someone explained to me the physical chemical process (in simplified version) that happens in our brain every time we take that first drink, it helps to know it is a physical thing too and it can affect all walks of life! This helps me in the acceptance of myself being and alcoholic.

[neil]

"Hearts that have known pain meet in mutual recognition and trust." Ram Dass/Paul Gorman

[Mel]

Nice quote Neil - thought of you (and all other Across the Ponders) as I've been watching Father Ted and thinking about getting ready to get back to work. One thing that struck me in the last week or so of not-drinking - I used to be an avid reader, voracious, crazy upallnight finish the book the day you buy it kind of reader, and although I still have to do that for work / research, I have not done it for fun all these years of drinking. In the last week, I've gone back to some very cheesy favorites and found myself reading for an hour or two at bedtime. Able to concentrate, enjoying the experience, remembering why I enjoyed doing this and how drinking every night until I stumbled to bed did not allow me to do this anymore.

Resolution, no wait - scratch that - new decision for 2012, remember to read and do it and do it sober, replace night-time angst/drinking with a good escapist read. Happy happy new year's to everyone - keep on the straight and narrow, because you're worth it (and, yes, I am quoting that awful 80's beauty commercial).

[neil]

haha father ted good god,hope that doesnt remind people of me generally !!!

[carol]

New Year's eve afternoon here. I am so looking forward to an alcohol-free evening with my husband. There was a blurb on the TV news last night that a DUI in California costs ~$12K once you include fines, court costs, increased insurance, etc. Wow! In addition to all the money I'm saving on not drinking, I'm not putting myself and others at risk by drinking and driving anymore. Thank God I never hurt anyone.

When I first came here I was too scared to commit to 30 days. Now I am looking forward to 2012 being my first alcohol-free year in. . . 40 years, since I was in high school! And I am willing to make that commitment! A few days ago we had family drama and I was really planning on having a relapse when I go to visit my mom in February. But it's kind of like when I was nearing the end of my 30 days and planning a big blow out, exactly what I'd drink to celebrate the end of 30 days and then stopped my insanity and asked why I'd go back to doing what I was so sick and ashamed of doing to celebrate stopping doing it. So I didn't drink. And I won't. Yeah!

So good to hear from so many of y'all. It's been quiet, I think we've all been busy. Lots of folks to say hi to, and I'm torn between trying to touch everyone personally, especially those who've been posting recently, because you ALL deserve it (and yes, Ken, "I've been everywhere" was playing at the BBQ place I went to last night), and knowing that I won't be able to. I WILL miss people, so please don't take it personally, and of course you will, but know that I am thinking of you too! And hey, how about if everyone else tries to reach out and touch someone so that together we try to include our large group of kindred spirits!

neil, I'm so happy with your take on 2011 - 'twould be so easy to write it off as a really bad year and instead you're able to look at it as a watershed year and a catalyst for change for your life going forward. Great!

Mel, good luck with the job interviews! nicolelee, glad to see you back; yep, don't take that first drink! That's all it takes.

A big long happy train whistle for so many people on Vic's sober train - starting with Vic of course! Vic, your one day learning experience that took weeks to get over has only cemented your commitment. James G, you're in your second month. Happy & sober Eric, good to hear from you and that you're still free! You must be getting close to 60 days now. And Pearl, you are at least 2 1/2 months, going on 3, yes? Great job, you three! Samantha, and Kathy too, 8 months, woo hoo!! Christy and Ruth, you're both coming up on 6 months early next year. Sally, glad you're on the train also! My sober buddies!

Mairianna & Millie, where are you? We miss you! Billy? bassetcat, whatever happened to you? And Trish? And justin, how are you? Sam, miss you.

Hey, theodora, I DO remember you from the old blog. The question you posed has had provoked such interesting conversation and has been helpful to me. Hopefully you decide it's worth it to stay on the sober train. JPVD and Bill Sheehan, also posters from there, thank you for helping to lead the way for us!!!

Ken, you contribute so much to the forum - thank you! A shout out to Kevin, too.

Hey, John, you had that 1/2 beer. Come back and tell us you're back to freedom and not going back into the abyss, would you please? I know you posted since then, but I'd like to hear it definitively.

Dreamweaver, keep flying and weaving, as well as keeping us going on the 30 day exercise challenge.

JeffR1, yes, remain hopeful for the future! Julliet & Erin, I hope that 2012 brings peace to both of you. You are in vastly different places in your lives, but you are both deserving of lifting of burdens and a bright future. All 3 of you, get out those sunglasses, eh?

Regina, glad you're back. It would be good to see if you and mallory could be non-drinkin' buddies here.

Cordelia, Allyson, susan nelson, jay, hi and welcome to you also!

And Patrick, THANK YOU!

Ok, y'all, I know there are many other folks out there, posting and not. Please chime in and acknowledge one another, would you? Again, I know I blew it and forgot someone important, so please forgive me!! Love you guys!

Happy New Year!

[James G]

Carol, beautiful timely post. Just what I needed to lift me up. Having old drinking thoughts moving into my mind on this New Years Eve night, but you redirected me in the right direction with your words. Ah, the power of the written and spoken word. Thanks, and Happy New Year!

[Ken1]

Carol, you have a beautiful soul, thanks for everything you do and being you! I would like to join you, if you don't mind, in your commitment to an alcohol free 2012. I hope you smiled or laughed when you heard Johnny Cash singing to you! I also hope you have a great night and your best year ever in 2012. You are in my prayers.....

[Allyson]

Happy New Year to everyone! So nice to be enjoying a peaceful evening at home by the fire with husband, dogs, and cat, having a little kd lang fest, knowing that I'll be starting 2012 without a hangover. Also pleased to have discovered sparkling green tea soda today- makes a good New Year's Eve drink.

[carol]

And Allyson, speaking of your cat . . . that reminds me of Kat - hi to you also, and to Kiwi, Adam and Jacx!

[Christy]

Happy New Year everyone! Just checking in. Had to work tonight, but now home just relaxing.

Hope everyone is enjoying their New Year's Eve tonight and sober. All you new people posting, you are all doing great. Remember you are here for a reason. Don't get frustrated if you feel that you aren't getting enough positive feedback. I believe everyone is busy with the holidays and we'll all be back to normal soon. Just remember don't drink no matter what and think about if you did what the consequences would be. I have been blessed by everyone including Patrick on this site to have found it. I have been sober ever since my first posting back in June. Yes, Carol, it is going on 7 months for me now.

Well, everyone have a great and sober night.

[Allyson]

Ha! Also watched Father Ted on Netflix after looking up the show to see what it was. Hilarious, although wish the canned laughter could be edited out. Off to sleep until next year.

[Jacx]

Hi everyone, been reading your fantastic posts, have had a very relaxing holiday with my family, really thankful for you all and the new journey unfolding in my life read a great quote today :-
" Do something today that your future self will thank you for"
I am really looking forward to 2012 and Will be making positive changes to get back to the person I want to be.
I wish you all a wonderful new year thank you all so much for being there exactly at the right moment xx

[Pearl]

I appreciate all the help that I've found here, that lets me say 'today I don't drink alcohol'.

Happy New Year! I can't remember if I've ever had a new year's eve without alcohol before....here's to new traditions!

[Ruth]

Congratulations, Pearl! It was easier than I expected, too... here's to a healthy and happy new year!

[Kip]

Hi all, a happy new year! I found the site this morning and can't stop reading the posts and articles. As someone wisely said, it's like looking in a mirror. Today is my day 1, the second attempt at this. A two day binge until last night and alone for the new year because my wife was angry at my behavior kept me up most of 2012 thinking hard about this addiction. I think this site will be a great forum for sharing the journey..door shut, belts on, push the start button, day 1 here I go. I am scared like the first time I quit, yet hopeful in the knowledge that success is the only option. Take good care and let's help each other through 2012... Best, Kip

[Mel]

Hi All, just a quick - Happy 2012!! Strange to start it without a hangover - and I mean by that, strange-wonderful not strange-bad. Love M

[Missy]

Hi I am new here. I have been reading posts for a while now since I have insomnia from all he drinking. I just got off the worst 5 day bender and my husband is so angry at me he won't even let me sleep in our bed. Since July I have been in and out of rehab but struggle to stay sober. I'm about to lose my family and I need to stop, but he's so verbally abusive I continue to turn to booze. I have to stay sober I have no more chances. I have 3 beautiful children that we so ashamed at me. I'll keep posting throughout the day. This time my husband video taped me and said he will use it as evidence in the future. I'm mortified and very scared. I feel like driving to the liquor store that I go to and telling them not to sell to me anymore, but it's 1:20am and it's closed. I need to get past this. I'll keep reading through the posts.

Missy

[Sally]

Oh Missy - I was so disheartened to read your post - I feel for you. Alcohol is such a nasty beast - it robs us of so much - and having to deal with an abusive husband on top of your struggles – how sad. Is there anyone you can go to and talk to about this? A counselor, priest, friend, parents? Someone who can give you a safe haven to really open up and let them know how you are feeling – what you are going through. Who can offer you support while you are trying to quit?

Quitting is hard enough, but having to do it under the watchful and judgmental eye of a spouse has got to be even harder. You need support right now, not criticism, not threats. Is there a reason that the rehab didn’t work? Was it inpatient or outpatient? Is there a support group that you could continue to go to on a daily basis? A therapist you could see and talk to?

This site is a wonderful venue, but it sounds to me like you may need way more support than this site can offer. You need someone in your corner that can encourage you face to face to confront your demons and work through them. Patrick has some great articles – you could read those and try to incorporate some of the things he suggests. Quitting is so hard, but it can be done, there are so many on this site that are proof of that.

Mind you these are only my thoughts – I may be way off base. In the meantime keep posting – there are some wonderful people on here that may help you. I will be praying for you – and lightening some incense. We are our own worst enemies. Stay strong. Don’t drink – it doesn’t solve anything. Take it one day at a time, one minute at a time if that is what you need. And maybe seek medical help – I know there are drugs out there that can help you with the drinking. And know that we are all pulling for you and wish you the best:] Good luck.