How to stop drinking

[Pearl]

When my dad was in his early 70’s, his health was failing and his memory was failing, but if you asked me how he was, I’d say “he’s ok” and in my mind I’d say “ all things considered”. Then he had a stroke, and surgery, and he got off all the tubes but was still in hospital, and if you asked he how he was, I’d say “he’s ok”, and in my mind I noted how “ok” changes as we go along. Sometimes ‘ok’ is a little great, sometimes it’s not great, and sometimes it’s just getting by, but still alive.
NOT that I’m comparing not drinking to having a stroke of course, but on each of these 60 days in a row of not drinking I’ve felt ‘ok’, each one a little different ok, some great, some not great, some just glad to be alive and sober today.
So, for today, I’m ok.
Glad to be here and glad you are all here too.
Cheers to the strength to not drink today.

[theodora]

Hi all..Just found out that Christopher Hitchens died, aged 62, by a cancer whose cause can be alcohol+cigarettes..He had openly talked about drinking every day of his life, saying how it was helping him write..And at the moment when his work started becoming more popular, he got sick, and died pretty soon after..
He's one of those people who always made drinking look cool to me..

On a different note, @jay, about sleep: after the initial adjustment period of really bad sleep, I have experienced the best sleep of my life ever since I quit drinking..I'm sure it also has to do with quitting smoking and changing my diet as well, but I stopped drinking first, and waited to adjust to that before attempting any other changes. My advice: EARPLUGS. I have been hooked on earplugs ever since I quit in order to sleep (better than pills or booze I guess!), I don't even know if I'm capable of sleeping without them, but I don't care cause it's the best sleep I've ever had! Try them and let me know!

Have a great week everyone, it's almost Christmas!

[Dreamweaver]

Oh I feel so young...I'm now a junior member! lol!

[carol]

Welcome Dreamweaver! Happy Birthday! And you ARE so young! Please don't go and delete your earlier posts. Your struggles, triumphs, wisdom and style have been and will continue to be inspirational.

[Ken1]

John, how right you are about your bowels! One of the first things that happened to me when I quit was my 20 year battle with IBS was now easily controlled with a few natural supplements instead of the arsenal of pills and liquid medications I took.

Neil, clear out some of your PMs, your at your limit and cannot receive new messages.

Dreamweaver, sorry you had to go undercover, I wish you could change your name, but I don't think it's possible. Anyway glad you are leaving your posts and sticking around.

Kevin, how was your weekend? Did you get to move home yet? Look forward to your updating us. Hope you are well.

Carol, good morning, I'm with you, it's a busy time of year and haven't had the usual time to be able to post but doing great, how about you?

Jay, welcome and hope to hear more from you. You are right on the money, keep posting, keep reading articles at the main site, and congrats on your successful efforts at quitting.

Pearl, excellent insights on using the term "okay". It is indeed good to be grateful. Hope you are having a good day.

[kevin2]

Good morning all,..and thanks Ken, John etc. for asking about me. It's day 9 for me and I moved back home on Sunday and all is well. It was a long tough week but probably a neccessary one. Although it was lonely I think it was really good for me to have some time alone to think and to reflect on just how many good things I have in my life. I did go to 3 AA meetings over the week and they are fine,..not really my cup of tea but helpful. I must say the last few days were much tougher than the first 4 or 5 when it comes to not drinking. It really hit me out of the blue on Saturday evening while I was grilling out (yes, it was 35 degress outside). That voice kept telling me that I should be able to "reward myself" for going a week without drinking,..and I would always have a few beers in the past, while I was grilling. Then it dawned on me that I can't EVER do that again,..and it really started bothering me,..the finality of it. We all ate a big dinner,..my specialty BBQ chicken and the craving and temptation was gone, but it was powerful enough to really surprise me. I'll have to be careful in certain situations like that in the future,..because I came damn close to giving in to it. For some reason I have woken up with a headache the last few mornings,..which is odd because I never had headaches even on the worst hangover. Anyone else have this happen? I hope everyone is having a great and sober day!

[Ken1]

Kevin, glad to hear you are home. I think the cravings are normal, especially when you are doing things where you normally drank while doing in the past. I made a list of triggers for myself so I could be aware of them when I'm going into certain situations in order to have my guard up. I posted it in the Getting Started thread if you are interested. You have to tell that alcoholic voice to shut up, say "stop it!" out loud and start thinking about something else. I noticed you said the craving stopped after you ate, a great reminder to not skip meals. I've read in several places that alcohol addiction is also a sugar addiction, so try to eat something when you feel a craving. I have been told by some to stop all sugar and then by others to keep all kinds of sugary foods around for when cravings hit, I did the last one. I also think the headaches are normal while your body detoxes and your brain does as well. For some they come and go, some they are short lived, and for me and many others they can last up to 90 days. Not to be discouraging, but it is better to be aware of what to expect than not IMO.

[carol]

Mairianna, thinking of you this morning. I hope you get a little down time from your coursework during the holidays, you deserve it!

Pearl, congrats on 60+ days! Woo hoo!

Erin, sending love your way.

Hey, Billy, haven't heard from you in a while.

OK Ken, can't help but think of the Johnny Cash song. . . so hi everyone! Have a great alcohol-free day!

[kevin2]

Thanks for the response Ken. I guess the headaches would make sense, considering the swelling of the brain that comes with drinking,..it would stand to reason that if I didn't have headaches following a night of drinking,..I would have the opposite reaction when not drinking. Yes, eating well is big with me in fighting cravings,..not neccessarily sugar but just a meal to get my stomach full. Maybe it's because I always drank just beer,...but after I eat and get full,..drinking beer just doesn't have any appeal.

[Dreamweaver]

Sylvane, yay for you! I dunno, I think I would have liked to have that bottle...to hit them over the head with

Ok, I'll leave it up, just yesterday a comment was made and I dont' know if it was coinkydink or not, but decided, I needed to drop the dragonfly...everyone in my personal life knows me as dragonfly.

Today, I choose me

[Ruth]

Kevin, good to hear from you. I think that as time passes, you will transform from abstaining from alcohol to being sober, if you know what I mean. Someone asked me early on if this was forever, and I answered, "I guess"... now it ideally is the new normal, and I wouldn't want to go back. Of course I still have fleeting thoughts that a drink would be nice, but it is along the lines of noticing a cute guy at the grocery store (FYI, I am 51 and married with children!). Sure, might be nice, but not worth it and not gonna happen!

About the headaches... I had a constant headache for months, but it has lifted. I bet it is the brain rebuilding itself from all the shrinkage that goes on while drinking. Anyway, it is gone now, so just part of the process, I think.

[jay]

@theodora : Thanks for the suggestion on the earplugs -- I will give them a try! Part of my sleeping issue may be that my past schedule involved drinking from about 8:30pm to past midnight. I found I was really antsy about bedtime ( my new bedtime is about 9:30pm) and I just had to take a brisk walk while listening to music for an hour to settle down. I will say my sleep has been getting a little better each day (day 6 today). I have been doing vitamin supplements and eating quite a bit more healthy, so those changes probably have some short term negative effect on my sleep, too.

[jay]

@John, I haven't told my wife I quit for good, I just told her I was cutting back to lose some weight. I did that because I wanted to solve my problem without making it her problem, or maybe because I didn't want to have her see me fail at it. I think it is the former but who knows?

Anyway her drinking isn't a problem for me -- my drinking is a problem for me.

[Millie]

Dreamweaver, welcome!!!! Happy Birthday. The forties are pretty darn good, as long as you stay away from mirrors. Lol. Welcome to the club. I suggest you go back and read some old posts from old members. Some great ones for inspiration were written by my old friend Dragonflyf15...bless her heart. Lol.

I hope everyone is enjoying the holidays!!!!!

Kevin. I am glad you are "home for the holidays"! Well done.

[neil]

ken1 its cleared now!!! Dont think i had 50 in my inbox though...but deleted all.

Day 5 after my 3 day slip up...i just cant sleep at night...lie down and 5 hours later am still awake...i usually end up sleeping in daytime then out of exhaustion and so pattern continues...but am sure it will pass....have tried bath with lavender oil,am on herbal sleeping tablets,have ate lettuce even before bed,,lol but think its just my racing mind...

A bill arrived this morning,more like a threatening demand than a bill(invoice)...and it throws me...considering it is Xmas week how they expect immediate payment is beyond me...you can not get blood from a stone as they say so i am sticking to my guns and paying what i can after Xmas...im unemployed and have a lot of outgoings,i dont mind paying most of them but this is a bill i volunteered to take on stupidly in early stage of grief when i was optimisitic about finances bizarely....THINK BEFORE YOU INK.....lesson learned.....lol will get paid just not this month.

Lack of sleep,financial and house worries, on top of withdrawl and fighting my desire/urges to drink etc....is exhausting me and making my moods go all over the place but a sim not around many people it is probably not noticeable at least.... I have at least looked after my health the last few days,have been sick with sinus etc last good while n just didnt do anything when drinkin n depressed but at least now taking meds and much better in that area...

Anyhow nice to unload a bit of whats in my head. I will hopefully get to a meeting of aa tomoro.....isnt it mad that what is killing me (alcohol) still is attractive....

[Allyson]

Day one here and my first post. Not much to say at the moment except I'm really sick of the constant back and forth in my mind re: the drinking. The challenge for me will be the evening when my mind often/usually flips to "I'll quit tomorrow" mode.
I've had this idea to start getting up and going to bed super early so as to dodge the evening by being asleep during most of it. I've been abstinent before for various periods- longest 2 1/2 years. This time I'm having a very tough time quitting.

[Billy]

Good Morning Everyone,

Everyone sounds so well. I hope Santa brings everyone a Merry, sober Christmas and everyone really enjoys this special time of year and celebrate for the right reasons!

The Holidays can be a trying time for many of us, I'm sure! For me, two days at my Brothers with all the family (did I say ugh)! A mother who eats anger for breakfast, a father who just tries to keep the peace, a sister who is the family lecturer, brother-in-law who should be in GA, niece who wear nose rings and red hair, nephews who think partying is the only thing in life... Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, I know. No truer words! Anyhow, now that I got my keyboard therapy vent out:

Carol - Hi. Thanks for asking! I'm doing okay; no really I am (lol). Still haven't put a good string of days together but those "smiley" faces are getting more frequent on my calender than not. I'm getting what I need to get done and not putting booze as my top priority! I know I need to completely give it up and I'm getting closer to that goal.

Dreamweaver - I like that; "metamorphosing" to your new, fresh life! Please tell my old friend Dragonfly I said hey!

Ken - I always appreciate your advise and your words of wisdom are gifts to us all!

Kevin - Glad things are going so well. You made a gutsy move and it worked; you the man!!

John - Your post are always very honest and entertaining. Thanks for sharing!

Erin - To our forum sweetheart, hello! I'm sure your following us all.

Sylvane - Don't sweat the small stuff, and its all small stuff!!

A big hello, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all my old friends; Kathy, Samantha, Christy, Ruth, Mel, Millie, Vic, Sally, Julliet (I hope I didn't miss anyone). To all the newbies; welcome and never quit trying to quit!!

[kevin2]

Good morning folks and Merry Christmas! Thanks for the good words Billy, Ruth and Millie,..and glad to hear you all are doing well. Neil, hang in there man,..it sure sounds like you have alot to deal with right now,..but just KNOW that not drinking will make each one of those issues just a little better and a little easier to deal with. The sleep thing seems to be a pretty commen problem here,..but luckily it hasn't been for me. I have to get up every day at 6:30 a.m. no matter what, so my sleep schedule stays pretty consistant. One thing I have been doing is taking 2 (5mg) 'Melatonin' (natural sleep aid) about 30 minutes before going to bed,..then picking up a book and reading during that 30 minutes then going to bed. I'm asleep within 10 minutes and sleep all night. I have noticed that it's a little tough to wake up in the morning,...but nothing a cup of cofee and a shower doesn't take care of. I hope that helps you.

I'm starting day 10 today,..and doing my best to only look at it 1-day at a time. I went to another AA mtg. last night,..a smaller group that I really like. There were only 6 of us last night,..ages ranging from 20 to 75,..but the small crowd actually makes it alot easier for me to open up. I actually talked quite a bit last night,...basically telling my story, which did seem to help alot and definitly triggered alot of discussion. One thing I definitly realized is how much I've learned about this disease from this site and forum. Every word and every story I heard either had similarities to mine,..or someone's that I have read about here. It's amazing how all of our minds seem to work the same,...no matter what the age, sex,..or whether you live in Ky, California, South Africa, Australia or wherever,..alcohol puts all of us in the same place with the same problems. I hope everyone has a great day!

[Billy]

Hi Billy, so good to see you check in. Your right about me - it is small stuff I am letting myself get all twisted over. Funny. Why should your Brother in Law be in Georgia?

Maybe they have a Gambling Anonymous class down there cause he can't seem to find one anywhere around here (lol)!

[Ken1]

Billy, always a pleasure to see you sir, glad you are doing okay. Try to enjoy your family the best you can, for those of us that have lost most of our family members, we would love to get a do-over and have all those arguments again. Only this time, we would enjoy the time and not argue. I know nobody can push your buttons like family, but try to find the strength to rise above the pettiness and remember, these are the good times! You only get one life, one shot, one chance to enjoy all the things around you, so try to find some pleasure in getting to see everyone alive and well, gathered together for one more time at least. I'll spare you the story, but a wise old man once told me "any day above ground is a good day, son!" Words I try to honor every day.

Kevin, you are a real inspiration. I'm glad your story is unfolding the way it is and it sounds like the type of AA meeting I prefer too. I've been to one that was standing room only and it's hard to get anything out of one like that, and conversely it takes guts to open up face to face with other people about the things that you are not very proud of, especially when there are only a few people present. Thanks for sharing with us and congratulations on 10 days!

Allyson and Jay, welcome, so glad you found us. You are in the right place to get some relief with people dealing with the same things you are. As always, I recommend reading through the posts in this thread and in the Getting Started thread and in others that speak to you. Allyson, you did it for 2 1/2 years, try to reflect on what inspired you to quit before and see if you can use some of that same information to inspire you this time. Also (to both of you), go to the main site and read through the articles. Patrick has been a big help to all of us here and has some extremely helpful advice. One of the most important things I've learned is that there is no "one size fits all" approach. There are many ways to reach the goal of not drinking; for me a written plan helped me kick start my recovery, many make a commitment to stop drinking for 30 days and reassess how they feel about alcohol, almost everyone makes a commitment to not drink just for today. You will find some amazing and supportive people here and this site can be a big part of your recovery. Definitely read through past discussions for ton's of great information about the triumphs of those of us that struggle with alcohol and remember to post your own stories and questions, as we all learn from each others journeys.

Here are a few of my favorite articles, but there are many more so really check out the main site! You have taken a big first step, congratulations!
http://www.spiritualriver.com/wordpr...iveLiving2.pdf
http://www.spiritualriver.com/how-to...a-better-life/
http://www.spiritualriver.com/holist...free-download/
http://www.spiritualriver.com/wordpr...tionGuide2.pdf
http://www.spiritualriver.com/wordpr...tionGuide2.pdf

Hello to everyone else, hope you are having a good morning.

Hey Carol, have you ever been to Reno, Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota, Buffalo, Toronto, Winslow, Sarasota, Wichita, Tulsa, Ottawa, Oklahoma, Tampa, Panama, Mattawa, La Paloma, Bangor, Baltimore, Salvador, Amarillo,Tocapillo, Baranquilla, and Perdilla?