How to stop drinking

[frog]

Hello all....I fell off the wagon and it sucks and I'm sorry. I made it 30 days. Connor is right - it doesn't suddenly get easier. I am regrouping today and will start Day 1 tomorrow. For a moment I thought I could get away with continuing my count and not telling you (oh, denial, denial, denial), but I have to be honest and I too like carol's post above. I am determined that this was my last false start. I suppose it had to do with poor planning, getting complacent, not being vigilant, feeling overly confident, and still not feeling 100% on top of the world and thinking "just one" would help me feel better. And my husband got upset with me - he doesn't understand the addiction - "if you know you have a problem, why do you do it?" I'm embarrassed and mad at myself. I had made so much progress. But like dragonfly said, at least I know I can do 30 days. And I have my journal for those days and can read about how awesome I felt....and how awful I feel now!! This will be my last Day 1.

[Regina]

Please don't give up anyone. I have had so many day 1's. Just don't stop trying.....

[anna]

Thanks for the encouragement everyone. So glad I found you. Good luck with the holiday. I think I'm going to do some yoga and stay home and watch some movies and work on my resume. Festivities would be too much of a temptation right now. I did sleep better than I thought I would last night so that was good. Lots of vivid crazy dreams, though. Day 2.

[Samantha]

Hey Sally! For me it was the same. I was as they say sick and tired of being sick and tired. I kept trying to get my drinking normal and under control. And well you know how that worked out.... Frog, Regina and Peter and all of you struggling to get on your feet, next time you really want to drink try to focus on the brutality of that addiction cycle. I went on and off alcohol for so many years. Could never control it. And the disease progressed where I desperately was trying to get one day sober. I finally figured out drinking was the problem and I wanted a better life which meant no alcohol ever. Since then life has been amazing. So dont give up. Every day 1 can be the one that sticks for you.

[carol]

Hey, frog, just think of it as successfully doing a 30 day trial. One of the things that you can do after 30 days is try drinking again and see what you think. So you did and you still don't like it! So pick yourself up and go for the long haul. No need to beat yourself up and feel bad.

Nope, people that don't have this problem don't understand why if it's such a big problem we can't just stop. My husband is great, and I'm glad he stuck through all this with me, he knows how hard I've struggled and appreciates that, but can't really "get" it. That's fine, but I'm so glad I've found people here who are like me who I can honestly share with. Some day they'll figure out the brain chemistry or whatever that makes some of us susceptible to alcohol addiction. In the meantime we just have to do the best we can and NOT DRINK! Ok, off my soap box for now.

Happy sober Labor Day, y'all!

[Regina]

I am coming to the end of Day 2. I napped so much today. All I want to do is sleep! But it is back to work tomorrow. I am trying to stay focused on the task of staying sober right now. There are so many things I want to tackle - things I let go when I was drinking. I need to lose weight, get in shape, organize a lot of things in my life that I ignored so I could drink in peace!
The kids go back to school later this week and I feel like it is a new beginning for all of us. I am working on the staying hopeful part first and foremost.
I hope everyone is doing well.

[Vic]

Sally - In response to your question -After drinking off and on for 30 years (mostly on for the past 10 years) I've reached the end of the line with alcohol. I used it for all kinds of purposes most of my life but now it has no purpose except negative ones. Like Samantha said I am also beyond tired of that hellish addiction cycle that seemed like it would never end. The last few years the disease progressed to where drinking was 20 minutes of feel somewhat good followed by 8 hours of numb (or however long it took me to drink my typical 20 beers for the day). This was followed by depression/despair until I drank another 20 usually a day or two later.
Again like Samantha I finally figured out drinking was the problem and I wanted a better life which meant no more alcohol.
However, unlike Samantha life is not exactly amazing at this point due to a combo of personal issues and learning how to deal with reality w/o booze.
That being said, I am hoping things get better eventually and I am very happy to be 40 days sober and I do want to remain sober for the rest of my days no matter how challenging life can be.
So in the meantime I'll do my best to pick up the pieces of my life that drinking shattered and try to fix what can be fixed and move forward each day in a sober way to hopefully happier days ahead.

[Regina]

Wonderful post Vic and congratulations on 40 days. I can relate entirely. I have to work hard not to dwell on the negative too much. So much "bad" came out of my drinking which is why I am committed to stop but if I spend too much time dwelling on it, I feel hopeless and filled with regret. That is not conducive to a new, sober life.

[Mairianna10]

Frog, you reached 30 days. You can do it again and further. Just think about how much healthier you are now you've had those 30, will make it easier to quit again. We'll be here to see that.

Wanted to share a little but significant thing. My son has been revising for an exam, actually in his room, getting on with it. I know that the stability at home has allowed this to happen. Everything was so vague before, he seemed just lazy, we're now discussing his work. Before I stopped drinking I couldnt even help him, he didnt want to talk to me. Although he has never spoken about my drinking, or for that matter my non-drinking, I must have been so unreachable. I feel so proud that I'm completely there for him now. I suppose that answers Sally's question. For me my reason for stopping was for me but for me as a wife and mother in the first instance. I was doing a hellish job before but little by little over the last weeks I've seen small but life changing improvements.

Nite everyone and thanks for getting me to 7 weeks sober x

[Mairianna10]

Well done Vic on 40 days!

[frog]

Thank you for the encouragement. Congratulations to the 3 ladies on getting to 7 weeks! That's so awesome. And Vic, 40 days! Seeing your conviction is what inspires me to do this. Y'all keep going and keep racking up those days so we can see the success, see the benefits, celebrate with you, keep ourselves motivated.

Mairianna, I love hearing about the positive impacts this is having on your relationships and family. Samantha, I love "Every day 1 can be the one that sticks for you." Carol, and everyone who's discussed your spouse's reaction/involvement in this, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. I have to be my own lifeguard/lifesaver. I like what someone said earlier about not waiting for someone else to swoop in and do this for you. This has been a private hell for me, and I'm so glad I found this forum. I'm not going to rely on friends or family to get me through this at this point. I'm going to do it for myself, by myself...with your help.

[Sally]

Good Morning from Michigan -

Cold and brisk today - feels like fall - a new season - a new day:] Good words on Hazelden this morning:

"We couldn't find ourselves because we hadn't defined ourselves. At last we've come home. Self-definition is sobrieties guarantee. Not only can we discover who we are, now, but also we can change, nurture those traits that we favor, diminish those that attract trouble. My actions today are the key. They tell who I am at this moment. Who I become is up to me."

Have a wonderful day:]

[Regina]

Good morning everyone. For those of you with seven weeks - wow! You are an inspiration.
Starting Day 3 and I feel a little better this morning. I slept ok last night and don't want to drink (not now,at least!) I am heading off to work with a clear(er) head and I like that feeling.
I went to an AA meeting last night with a friend. I wish I could say I liked it but AA is just not for me. I wish it was because so many people are really happy there. I guess I have to find my own thing....
Happy sober day everyone!

[rosella]

Hi all! Bdog, your post reminds me of why I don't want to drink. Sometimes I forget about those dark, depressed moods I could get into. I'm nearly at 3 weeks and although I'm not feeling on top of the world, gone is that feeling of utter hopelessness. I didn't think I could manage getting this far but here I am .You've just got to make a start and then keep going day by day. I know we are all capable of doing this.
Mairianna, like you I've had so much more time with my girls in these last few weeks. My oldest is 7 and I've noticed improvements in her reading and piano playing. When I was drinking I just wanted to get her reading and piano practice out of the way but now we're enjoying that time together and it's made such a difference. It's made me realize how selfish I was. I'm also reading to my 3 year old more now and she's loving it. I don't want to waste anymore time pouring poison down my throat.
Just in the last few days I've had these fantasies about enjoying a glass of wine occassionally. Nice thought but I know that can never happen for me. It really does have to be zero tolerance. It has been like parting from an old friend.
Frog and Regina, good to see you guys hanging in there. I'm so scared of relapsing but they say you attract what you fear so I've got to think positive.
Thanks everyone for the great posts. It really helps coming here each day and getting the inspiration and advice I need.

[rosella]

Sally- cold and brisk here and it's the start of our Spring!! Hope it warms up soon. Love the quote.

[Regina]

Cathy - please check in with us. You only fail if you stop trying.

[bdog]

Hi All, Im glad the weekend is over. I know that sounds selfish but the longer it went on the worse it got. It got dark and starting a relentless rain that we are supposed to get all week. It didnt help anything for me. Peterpinot and Frog, Im right here with your feelings. Don’t stop trying I wont. Vic 40 days! Great!! I cant even remember if I have ever had 40 days. You must feel strong. Everyone I do appreciate all the writing over the holiday weekend. Its tough to do this alone and the posts make me feel like Im not alone. Have a good Tuesday. I hope this upcoming weekend is a better one. I never feel right after a weekend. And that is wrong.

[grad2008]

Good morning everyone,

This is my first post ever on this site. Where to begin? I guess just with a few facts. Fact#1: I am 27 years old and have been a heavy drinker since age 16. Fact#2: I cannot control myself and stop drinking when I start feeling tipsy. Fact#3: My family and friends have really been there for me in the good and bad but I believe that if I keep this up their patience will run out.

Just a back story so I can get this off my chest. About 1 month ago I went to a local soccer match and started having beer at the stadium as usual. When the match was over and done with I went back to the parking lot to keep on drinking. Needless to say at this point I am already 10 beers deep (at least that is how many I estimate) and very drunk. What happens next is still foggy to me and this is what people tell me. I started arguing with my buddy, who is also my roommate, and proceeded to try and fight him. Being that we were in a public stadium police quickly showed up and took control of the situation.

My buddy convinced the police to let my uncle, which is like my father to me, to come pick me up and take me home instead of taking me to jail. It would have been great if the story ended there but not so much. When we got back to my uncles house is when it really got out of hand. I proceeded to argue, yell and accuse everyone there of some pretty horrible things..... I had to be restrained and finally passed out around 5 A.M.

After this incident I was able to work everything out with my family and it was relatively calm for nearly 1 month. I even had drinks at my apartment one night while watching the fights and nothing came of it.

Then labor day came. This past Sunday we had a family reunion to share dinner and drinks. At about 10 P.M I was already very very drunk. I said some pretty horrible things to some family members and was promptly taken home by my roommate. I went back to their house yesterday and talked to them. As usual, very forgiving but I could see that I had really hurt some feelings. This time it was different, I believe that everyone is running out of patience and now it is my time to step up and cut this out.

Something else was different too. After my roommate went to sleep I decided to go get food. I drove to the local fast food chain and drove back home. While it was only 2 miles away I could have done some real damage to my self or even worse someone else. I feel like I was lucky, this time, and got away with it. I believe this is my one shot and not doing anything stupid like this again and I don't want to ruin it.

So here I am. Day 2 of being 100% sober. I am not looking for pity but a support group that understands what is happening. I believe this could be it. So anyways I just wanted to introduce my self and see if there is anyone else out there with a similar story. I feel like being sober is really going to be put to the test this coming week. I am traveling back home to see friends and family for the first time in nearly 4 years. Everyone has already started talking about the parties and drinking that is being planned for my return. Anyone have any advice on how to hold my ground and not drink? I feel like if I don't have drinks with everyone else they will get upset...... Any and all advice is welcome.... Thanks for taking the time to read this!

Oh and if this isn't the correct place to post this please let me know and I will move it to the correct part of the forum.

[Regina]

bdog - it is a new season, a new beginning. I so very well understand what you are going through. I feel like I have been in a rut that I will never be able to get myself out of. But, just for now, I have that little bit of hope and I am jumping on it! Today is day 3 for me and I could easily screw up again but I am going to do my best not to. Waking up without a physical and emotional hangover feels so good. I don't want to give that up.

[frog]

Sally, great quote - I just signed up for those. Rosella, thank you for sharing the story about time with your kids. I'm cutting and pasting quotes from all of your posts into a document that's just for me and my inspiration. The image of spending sweet time with your children vs. "pouring poison down your throat" makes it very real for me. Keep up the good work. Dragonfly, thank you!

Grad, anna, and others, welcome. Go, Regina!! Keep going! Grad, you will have to make a plan for the week with your friends. What do you want to do?

I spent some time with my dad this weekend. He's never had trouble with alcohol, but he grew up with an alcoholic father. I asked him some questions about it this weekend. He said that throughout his life, his dad would come home drunk from work, his mom would help him get into bed, and he would say over and over, "I'm sorry, I won't do this again, this is the last time..." And then it progressed to the point where local friends or police would find his dad passed out in his car and bring him home or call them to come get him. His dad's brothers and sisters eventually had an intervention with him, he went away for 6 months, and came back sober. He had to start his career over because he'd lost his job. Anyway, it was really powerful to hear my poor dad tell these stories. My dad is 64 now. His dad died of a stroke when he was 70.

When I think of my dad as a small boy experiencing all of that, it makes me want to stop drinking 100%. Stop the cycle. It's not worth throwing your life away or ruining your kids' lives. Thanks for listening and have a great, strong day!