How to stop drinking

[Samantha]

Cathy, Rosella, Sam amd Dragonfly you are all doing great. You are making progress. Think of how many people never get even a day or 2 days. Your here posting and trying to get on your feet. I have nothing but respect for you as alcohol addiction is a disease and your sick trying to get better. So keep trying. I drank then got sober drank and got sober over and over again. Now it finally has stuck with me. So your not alone in trying and you can succeed too. I have no magic words. I just stopped because as you said Sam, the brutality of trying to stop again after drinking again....I couldnt do that to myself anymore. The hiding alcohol, trying to get rid of all those bottles!, hung over, unwarranted anger from the alcohol, lost time, lost opportunity, bad relationships, poor health. I was tired of drinking. Then waking up in the morning feeling guilty and saying Im done....then come afternoon or evening drinking all over again. And for what? I got a 10 minute buzz. Anyway, I am here for you if you have any questions that I could help. I really believe in you all.

Ps Cathy that sounds delicious! You got me hungry.

[rosella]

That does sound delicious Cathy!
There must be a shift when there are more sober days than before. Sometimes it feels like it takes so much out of you when you give up then relapse again and again. But we are heading in the right direction (I hope!) and like you Samantha, one day it's going to stick. I just had a look at the site 30 sleeps that someone here suggested and that was helpful. I want to commit to that 30 days but somewhere inside I feel terrified about it. I've got two beautiful young girls so that should be enough reason for me. My thinking is still a bit blurred today so I shall think it over tomorrow.Thankyou to all

[Christy]

Cathy, you are making me hungry again and I just ate pizza!
Cathy, and the rest that are still struggling, you have all taken the first step in realizing that you have a problem with alcohol and that you want to stop. It has taken me a couple years now even after recognizing that i have to stop. I was still toying with the idea that I could drink socialbly, and saying maybe I could, but now at this point I don't want to risk drinking again. I too, was tired of worrying about where and when my next drink was, wasting my time hiding it all over, trying to be sneaky about it. Feeling like crud everyday and having to have a little in the morning "feel good" again. And most importantly, having missing out on real family and friend relationships. When drinking, I was starting to not enjoy going home, which now I have decluttered and made it my "nest" again, and it feels great! Clean house, candles glowing, while relaxing after a hard days work. Don't feel frustrated in thinking this sobriety thing can't happen, because you all CAN do it!

[peterpinot]

Well people, I did it again last night. 3 bottles of wine. With the usual nausea, blurred vision and headache this morning, I've been reading many of your positive posts and I am so happy for you. I wish I could get just to day 1. I am so mad at making false promises to myself and my wife. Every morning I say today I won't drink. In the afternoon I say well just a couple to taper me off. Come 5 o'clock I'm buzzed. Come 6 o'clock I'm drunk. I'm sick of feeling sick. I'm sick of being hung over everyday. I'm sick of having the shakes in the morning. I'm sick of smelling like liquor. I'm sick of drinking alka seltzer. I'm sick of not being able to remember the night before. I'm sick of swollen eyes. I'm sick of my obsessive compulsive disorder. I'm sick of the aches and pains that flare up when I drink. I'm sick of being a jerk who drinks out of a bottle instead of a glass. I'm sick of spending my hard earned money just to make me feel sick. I'm sick of making a fool out of myself when I get drunk. I'm sick of high blood pressure. I'm sick of letting booze control my life. I'm a failure and rapidly becoming a total loser. If only I had the strength...

[Mairianna10]

Hi all, sorry to hear of your continuing struggles Cathy, Dragonfly, Sam, Rosella. Noone is more surprised than I that I haven't had a drink in a month and when I hear from you how horrible it is to start at Day 1 again it makes me determined not to drink, so thank you, because if I fail I will be so disgusted with myself. I dont want to go back to that life.

What can I say to help you to stop relapsing? I know it is so hard to get out of the cycle, took me 8 years. The most important thing for you to remember is to never give up on yourself, its about you in the first place. You CAN do it. Drinking alcohol started off as a 'normal' thing to do but over time has become our way of dealing with everything difficult in life, blocking things out. Establish what is tripping you up, what your trigger is, and make a plan that when you really 'think' you must drink, change your mindset and do something different or not that different, just something else, clean out a cupboard even. I usually come on the forum to help me through but strategies to fill my time are movies, visiting friends, family, going to bed early.

I know its really hard but everyone DONT DRINK TODAY!

[peterpinot]

Sorry but I had to vent.

[Mairianna10]

Hi Peter, your post crossed mine. Is it feasible for you to fill the end of your day with something like going to a movie or something else? I'm convinced the time of day is significant for our brains. I used to come home at 6.30 on weekdays, close the door to the world, first thing a drink. My family were home too but I wasnt really participating in family life once I had my second drink. If you could just for a few days change the pattern, if you have a set pattern. You have the strength, remember its a mind thing. Easy for me to say because I'm feeling stronger each day, but hope that helps.

[Cathy]

Well Peter........being sick of everything about alcohol is probably going to be the catalyst that pushes you toward sobriety. I'm sick of everything you mentioned too, only I use pepto bismol and zantac. I screwed up yesterday and took 3 drinks (right out of the bottle) of the evil brew, and am back on day 1 today. So you're not alone. I'm saying a special prayer for you right now...............

[peterpinot]

Thank you Mairianna & Cathy. I will try AGAIN today. I'll try to break the pattern. I just want to get to day 1.

[rosella]

I feel your frustration Cathy and Peter. I got pissed off at work today and I turned to the only thing I've come to rely on when I need to deal with things. Bought far too many drinks, had a few and realized it wasn't helping. It's 8.30pm here, I've stopped now and I had some of the stir fry I cooked for the kids and might have an early night. Put the rest of the beers and wine I bought in a bag and put it in the bottom of my cupboard. Should have poured it out I suppose. What a complete and utter waste of money!!
When I was pregnant with my two girls I gave up alcohol completely and it was the easiest thing in the world.It's amazing what you can do when another human being is involved. It is lack of love and respect for myself when I drink, like self sabotage. My sister told me to look into the mirror each morning and and say I love you!! Haven't tried that yet. Not as easy as it sounds. So, back to day 1 tomorrow. So inspired at those doing so incredibly well and wish those of us struggling courage and strength.

[Vic]

Day -22
Very grateful to be sober today.
Keep in mind the universal human goal gang: To enjoy ourselves more and suffer less.
For me it's that simple at this point.
Boozing = Pain
Sobriety = While bumpy at times is much easier on the soul, lighter on the heart and kinder to the mind.
I wish for everyone to enjoy their alcohol free day today.

[Millie]

Peter,
Over and over again, I have read that folks were only finally able to quit because they were sick and tired of being sick and tired. It sounds like you have definitely reached that point.

You have described that you are a very very heavy drinker. Three bottles of wine and more, with severe shakes in the morning, etc I also have read how dangerous it can be for some folks to try and quit on their own. If you are truly ready to quit, I urge you to take massive action and reach out to a doctor or better yet check yourself into rehab for at least the detox stage. Please read Patrick's articles about rehab. He has often said long term rehab saved his life. My heart and prayers go out to you.

[Sally]

For all of those struggling –

I too woke up every morning and swore I would not drink today, only to see my resolve dissipate as the day went on. By the time I got home from work, I wouldn’t even bother changing clothes, just went right to that bottle and poured myself a stiff one. And I always made the first one really strong rationalizing that I would only have 1 or 2 if I did that – needless to say – well you know how the story goes.

When I reflect back on all of the energy I put into drinking – changing up stores to buy it at, hiding it, fretting over whether I had enough to get me through the night, lieing to my husband and children, swearing this was the last time, plotting my whole day around it, just like a lot of you. That is when I decided to put just as much time and energy into NOT drinking. I was bound and determined to beat alcohol at its game. And God was it hard at first. It’s a cunning little devil and a real sweet talker.

I made lists – lists of all the things I wanted to accomplish – long term and short term, lists of the pros and cons of drinking, lists of what needed done around the house, lists of websites I could visit if I faltered, lists of rewards to give myself if I just didn’t drink today, lists of some of my really bad times drunk. I bought a “count your blessings jar” and started filling it with my thoughts and money (I'm getting richer by the day LOL). And I held on by my fingetips for the ride and prayed a lot.

But I did it – or should say am doing it – this is a lifelong process. And so can you. Don’t ever give up – I didn’t. I fell, picked myself up, and swore this time I would do it – and I kept doing that until I got it right. Zero Tolerance!! You have to start by changing your thinking – I tell myself every day now that I am a non-drinker and I mean it. I will not let alcohol take my life back over – it is my life now and the empowerment I have gotten from not drink is just amazing – I can do anything and so can you!! So hang in there and keep trying - one of these days it's going to click and you will be slapping your forhead, like me, and saying Duhhh...what took so long. Hugs to all.

[Regina]

Thank you for asking about me Dragonfly.
Today is Day 1. Again. I feel like a complete and utter failure.... :-(

[Regina]

I have a strange question. Does anyone know what the title under our name means? Mine had been senior member now it is member. Just curious...

[_Erin_]

Regina, I saw mine go from Junior Member to Member. I think it has to do with the number of posts you've submitted and the time frame you've done it in. Hang in there, girl, you can do this!! (((hugs)))

[Millie]

Mine recently went to senior member. It may be because I am now over 100 posts or I've just been a pest on here recently.

Regina, I am glad to see yu back posting and starting again. We are here for you!!!

[Regina]

Thank you Erin and Millie. I wasn't going to post again but I really need the support and encouragement and hope that this group provides. I have been sober before (for 4 years) but I can't seem to get more than a few days together this time. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I am tired of feeling this way. I want a healthy, valuable life. I don't want to be just a drunk. :-(

[Mairianna10]

Regina, what made you reach for a drink after 4 years? Was it just thinking you could handle it?

[nicolelee]

"You are not your past. You are however the result of the lessons that you learned and the wisdom that you gained from the experience. When you take the time to look at it from that perspective you can give thanks… and move forward with grace." - C.Maloney