How to stop drinking

[Kim]

Millie, I hope I can be that strong when out with my girlfriends too. I am confident now but what will happen then? Did they question you why you weren't drinking? Keep strong and keep posting. I am high-fiving you right now!

[Millie]

Kim, it was hard during initial ordering stage...but after that I just kept getting "another" of what I was drinking.ginger-ale and cranberry... Nobody really cared what I was drinking and they never asked why I wasn't drinking... I don't think I would have enjoyed evening more if I was drinking. I actually think I enjoyed it more sober. I loved not having to worry about drinking and driving. Cutting out the alcohol is freeing in so may ways.

Tonight went to dinner with my husband. He had a couple of glasses of wine, but I stuck with ginger ale. His wine looked good, but I was ok without it..

I know the more days I get under my belt, the more tempted to drink I will get. Our brain loves to try and talk us in to thinking that some "success" means we don't have a
Problem and can drink again. I had gone about 20 days last fall before I started back, convincing myself I would just control it this time. Blah, blah, blah. It didn't take long before I was back to drinking too much like always. I am trying not to forget that. Deep down I know that will happen again, if I drink..

Day 20 has officially started.. Three weeks Monday. Casey and Mairianna, we will celebrate our milestone Monday night.

[rosella]

It was my birthday today and didn't have a wine when out to lunch with my family! So proud of myself. Feeling really positive today. It's another Day 1 but only had a few beers last night and thought whats the point. I feel in a better place to start afresh. This forum helps so much so will check in daily to see how you guys are going. Have fun!

[Millie]

Rosella, happy birthday. A great day to give yourself a Big gift...no alcohol! Have a great day!!!!

[ceeshel]

Hi,

I have been drunk everyday for 3 years. I desperately want to stop drinking, but always seem to find a "reason" to pour a drink. I have 2 children 6 and 9 and am missing out on their life. I feel like such a failure to them...what are they learning from me. I don't see my kids all day (work) and then when I come home I immediately start drinking, I spend no quality time with them ever. I have missed out on 3 years of their growing years. I apologize for the negativity in this post, I think that I just need to get these thoughts out to maybe make them real to me. I don't know.....I am being so random. I am stopping drinking today and am terrified. My husband begs me everyday to stop and I don't listen...what am I doing with my life? what am I doing to my kids life? How do I do this? Sooooo scared..any advice from anyone is welcomed. Sorry for the random thoughts and statements....take care

[ceeshel]

Sally, thank you for that post.....it really hit home. This is my first visit to this board. I am looking for support in quitting drinking and I think this forum will be helpful. Your post struck home because I am a product of the "rave" scene and have been drinking or doing drugs for about 16 years. I did take some time off to have children...but for the past 3 years have been drinking very heavily. I have gradually been coming to the point where I realize that I am wasting my life and not experiencing moments with my children, and not creating memories for them or me. Anyway, just wanted to say that your post really resonated with me. take care

[badger]

ceeshel, do not drink today. Simply do not. Get one day in without drinking - you need to start somewhere. But FULLY commit to this. Under no circumstances will you allow yourself to drink today. Drink lots of water and just spend as much time with your kids as possible. Then, repeat tomorrow! For me, the realization that I was missing too many moments with my children was (and continues to be) my primary motivation in quitting drinking. I am on day 22 today and not an expert by any means, I have a long way to go, but please keep coming to this forum for the tips and stories and camaraderie of others going through many of the same things. What is that saying, "The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step?"

[Mairianna10]

Cesshel, welcome, you need to keep posting here and we can all help you through it. I, like badger, was sick of the effect on my family and on my own health, getting up feeling awful every morning, barely functioning, sometimes not remembering putting my daughter to bed or saying goodnight to my son, like you not doing anything fun with them, just living in a fog of alcohol.

I have reached Day 20 today, so will be 3 weeks in tomorrow along with Casey and Millie, I've never been past 6 days before and that is thanks to the lovely people on this forum. You will go through many emotionals and cravings but it will be so worth it. I've seen small changes for my family which I know is having a huge effect on my youngest already, simply having friends round, not possible before because I was on the drink by 6pm.

You will feel so good if you can not drink and come back here to say so.

[Mairianna10]

Well done Fifi and GO FOR IT Regina!

[Samantha]

Mairianna and badger you are both around 3 weeks. Thats amazing when you step back and think how many never get sober. Congrats to you both and Casey and Millie. The thoughts of drinking are still with me but much less and not serious. Almost a sadness of a loss but a realization its a gain for me. And its a relearning how do you live life when I always used alcohol to cope. But the good news is I learned alcohol only made me miss life and made problems. Without it, I can cope and can handle day to day. Taking it slow, learning, and trying not to be too hard on myself either as I grow in recovery. This is a whole new world for me.

Im always sad watching people get sober then relapse on this forum and never hear from them again. The thing about relapse is you may never get sober again. So its not an option for me anymore I have 99 days today and am grateful to all of you for that. Your being here keeps me going and gives me strength and hope.

[Cathy]

Congratulations Samantha!!! I didn't relapse yesterday, but came very close. Entering day 7 today. Still not excited about my progress. Feeling like "what do I do now?" For some reason alcohol gave me a push, or motivation to get through my days. I'm becoming more aware of the fact that I have to relearn how to "live" Goodness gracious..........the further out I get from that last drink, the less real the danger of it seems. I know that I have to be very aware of the triggers (and there are many) that prompted me to drink. I became quite an escape artist these past 5 years! Well.....to all of us who are feeling like we've lost a best friend.......keep reminding yourself that this is one of those friends that will stab you in the back!

[Fifi]

Ceeshell, first of all ... congratulations to you for BEING HERE. You have made one of the 1st steps ... to acknowledge your drinking and wanting to stop. Your story sounds a lot like mine, except I just have one child (daughter, age 7) and I feel like she is growing at lightning speed before my intoxicated eyes and am missing it all.

I am on Day 5 today. First off, as it sounds like you may have a husband who is concerned and is willing to help you quit, tell him that you've had your last drink, and ask him to help you by keeping all booze out of the house. Then just keep yourself busy doing other things.

I know, I know ... easier said than done. On my first night not drinking, my husband, daughter and I went to dinner at a child-friendly restaurant that didn't serve alcohol. At least that "killed" a couple of hours. By the time we got home, it was 8:00 and I knew that I could make it for another hour or so before I could go to bed (I was sooooo exhausted). So, Day 1 came and went. Woke up with no hangover the next morning for the first time I can remember. It's all minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day process.

The days since have had ups and downs (a lot of downs!), but it feels so great to feel better (physically) in the morning. So far, I have not had many physical withdrawals (shakes, sweats, etc.), aside from headaches and foggy concentration. But have been very withdrawn, depressed, sad, lonely, etc. Expected, I suppose, since I've just said good-bye to my nearest and dearest best friend, white wine (expecially chardonnay)!

Anyways, proud of you for coming here. It has helped me by reading other's inspiring stories. We are all in this together, and we all, on some level, know what the other is going through. We are not alone in fighting this horrible beast. And together, we can beat him!!

Good luck, and keep us posted!!
xo

[Millie]

Samantha, thanks for your post. 99 days has such a fabulous ring to it. I love reading the posts from members who have months of sobriety under their belt. It reminds me that it is not only doable, it is so worthwhile, and life, although still difficult, will be much richer and better.

I don't recall whether I read this on this forum or in a book, article, etc., but it has stuck with me: scientists did a study with rats. In one group they injected the rats with alcohol. The other group remained sober. They then introduced both groups to a maze. Both groups eventually learned how to get through maze to the cheese, although not surprisingly, the group with alcohol took longer. The big surprise was later, however, when they showed the two groups, now both sober, the maze again. The group that was sober when they visited the first time, remembered the maze and ran straight through to the cheese. The group that had been injected with alcohol, behaved as if they had NEVER seen the maze before. The point being made was that we do not retain anything we learn while drunk...so we do not have the benefit of or learn from the life lessons or mistakes experienced while intoxicated. Wow. That explains why I often don't feel like I have ever "grown up" in some ways...

I am very curious and interested to see what lessons I learn and Most importantly retain by experiencing life and challenges sober. I am also confident that I will experience more and better retain the awesome and joyous moments with my precious children.

[Millie]

Cathy.. One week today. Awesome. Stick with it.
Remember, you will be exhausted, foggy, etc. For the next weeks, but it will get better. I am slowly getting more energy. Ceeshell. Welcome. You are in the right place.

[Samantha]

Cathy 7 thats great! Fifi 5!! Just think how many never get that amount of days. Just think how some never get sober. What your doing is huge. Dont give in to the alcoholic voices. Life gets better just dont relapse because thats what the addiction wants. It wants to be fed. The more time you get away the clearer it will become. You are doing great and if you are done drinking it wont be hard to stay away from alcohol. Its wasnt easy for me but it wasnt hard either. Just different. Keep coming here, you help us all.

[nicolelee]

Congrats Cathy for 7 days, Samantha for 99, Fifi for 5, awesome! Ceeshell-welcome to the forum, it really helps to read and post here! The longest I have gone is 12 days. I am starting day 2, I know the next few days will be easy, it is just that darned Friday and Saturday nights! No one is allowed to come over and party at our house anymore, no more parties, we used to have people over every weekend and all of them are drinkers. I hate the fact that I drank on Friday night but I am learing from my mistakes at least, something good will come out of it one way or another. I am definately more aware. I was venting to my drinking friend about how I was trying to stop drinking and how bad I felt about drinking on Friday night, hmm, she drinks quite a bit and her dad is a raging alcoholic. She was probably like uhh-OK. She can't really give me any advice since she is a drinker. Oh well. Church this morning then Sunday dinner with our cousin and packing for Disney. The universe has given me another day to start afresh. At least I can eat solid food today, I have to put that hangover down in the books to not forget about...

[Cathy]

Millie and Samantha.....thanks so much for the vote of confidence. I'm having a very hard time getting myself into motion today. It's just after noon and I'm still sitting here in my pajamas! Ceeshel......you're in the right place. Having so many others in the "same boat" ...........throwing you a lifeline every step of the way.......is going to be what gets you to "safety" (I love analogies....it can't be helped)

Sally, I have to comment on your post about your lifelong love affair with drugs and drink. I'm also a product of the 60's and 70's. I remember being 10 yrs. old, smoking cigarettes, mom down the street working in the bar, dad gone forever, my big sister and all her friends at our house smoking weed and drinking! Everyone brought their instruments and set up band practice almost every evening. One of "our" bands even made it onto American Bandstand!! LOL........
Then by 13 I was doing 2 substances too disgusting to name.....which led to alcohol, pot, speed, lsd, and the list goes on........

Well anyway........there is a whole generation of us 60's/70's hippies who are trying to untangle the repercussions of that "culture" (as I like to call it). With me I think because alcohol is legal, and I don't have to be "breaking the law" to imbibe, I've justified my "right as an adult" to do what ever I want! HA!!!! How screwed up is that? How I've always rationalized why it's perfectly OK for me to drink! Hmmmm...........alot of things going thru my mind lately.

[Cathy]

Nicolee, we were supposed to go to church this morning but just didn't climb out of bed to do it! Thank goodness God doesn't live in brick and mortar buildings! Saying a prayer for you to reach for day 12......13......and beyond!

[Samantha]

Dragonfly you have made amazing progress since you came on here. I love watching you grow! Today dont chose to slip. You've got everything to look forward if you dont drink. Love ya.

[Mairianna10]

Dragonfly,
You've experienced a loss that I cannot relate fully to and it must be desperately difficult for you to cope, both of you, but its got to be better to get through things sober. Then, as I say, I haven't felt your type of grief, but I know from family losses that drink is not the answer. I know it gives you a temporary release but you will never be able to move on while you are drinking.

We'll be here for you tomorrow x