How to stop drinking

[Fifi]

Thanks so much for your words ... they are so true!

[Fifi]

Thank you Dragonfly! I know I have a rough road ahead of me, but, as a person who doesn't really like to talk about my problems, it's very comforting to me to know that this forum is here and I'm not alone. I hope I'll stick around, too!!

[Millie]

Welcome FIfi welcome. Your drinking habits are similar to mine. I generally would start drinking after work while cooking dinner and continue to pour additional glasses of wine all night until bottle was gone or I fell asleep (passed out). I too have young children, 6 and 2, and am excited about getting alcohol out of the mix, so I can be fully there for them. I am sure they will find other things to complain/be embarrassed about me as they get older, but my hope and goal is that it will never be about me and drinking. I also want to be a good example for them as I am sure that they will have to fight their genes to not fall into same trap.

[Kim]

Hi Everyone - I am going to a counselor tomorrow to help me work through some of these issues, including alcohol abuse. I want and need help but I am so scared to talk about this. I know he's a pro. I am so ashamed to admit my battle with alcohol. Can anyone help me tell me where do I begin to start? I am going to be a mess tomorrow. Thanks for your help and thoughs and congrats to everyone on the progress you've made!

[frog]

Hi all - so many awesome posts in the last 24 hours - I'm still processing all of them. Thank you! Today is Day 2 for me. Yesterday felt like a marathon. Not because I was tempted, but because this morning I thought, "Today is only Day 2?" I've had so many "Day 1s" that it's crazy to think that this is only Day 2. But I know days fly by, and it's one day at a time. It's been very helpful for me to hear about you guys who were sober for a long time, got cocky, and slowly started back. That is totally what has happened to me in the past, and you are confirming to me that I have to be very careful about that. Of course, if I think about "forever", I get kind of freaked out. But that's why this is a vicious cycle. I'm ready to confront and experience the pain and feelings without the crutch of the "medication." Live through it and get to the other side. I love the idea of putting motor oil or whatever "poison" on your counter to remind you that you don't want to put that stuff in your body! I will think about that - the demon is not our friend - although it feels like we're losing a friend. Stop the "love affair" with alcohol - knock it off it's pedestal. It's poison, it's a slow suicide. It's not a friend, it's not comfort, it's not warmth, it's not safety, it's not confidence, it's not control.

Regina, we're on the same day - Day 2! Welcome Fifi, and everyone else new. Kim, good luck w/ the counselor - it'll all just flow out, I'm sure. It's also been very helpful to me to hear about mothers of young children - mine are 6, 4, and 2. We have to kick this. We wouldn't wish it on anyone. I know my kids have my genes. I want them to learn how to be confident, radiant, joyful, energetic - the list goes on - without the crutch/self-medication/drug of choice. Okay, bye for now!

[Fifi]

Hi Frog - and congrats on Day 2!!
Kim, I know it will be difficult, as I had to tell my therapist, too. But, seriously, once you get it out on the table, it will keep flowing and you fill feel so much better - like a huge weight off your shoulders. Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

Thanks all ... wishing us all well. We'll get through it!

[Cathy]

Just thought I'd pop in and let everyone know that it's day 3 for me (haven't made it past 4 days sober in 5 years) and I haven't been tempted yet. One of my daughter's and 4 grandkids popped in this morning to pick from the garden and I was so grateful that I was reminded of who I want to be for them. Eric took all my money, cards and checkbook with him to work today and thankfully I haven't wanted to go digging through the change! Sometimes when he's home after work and I get to craving so bad, I'll begin trying to convince him that I'll only buy 2 shots and that I'll be fine. (usually I get 3 and lie about it to him) I can't tell you how many times I've worn him down and he's gone out and bought for me. When I'm not thinking like an alcoholic.....those memories just make me sick. How can I act like 2 different people and wrangle my own way out of him?? Now that's a recipe for a lot of self loathing.........but I just refuse to turn on myself! I'm going to make it through this day sober! I've read the posts from the last 24 hrs. Thanks all for helping me stick to my guns!

I was thinking of something, but it might not be helpful or appropriate....but I was thinking for the sake of us who keep failing and starting over again and again....maybe a cold hard graphic reminder of what we act like when drunk might help? Once a couple of years ago I blacked out while sitting on the toilet in a public building.......eeeeeek!!! Well I woke up/came to laying on the bathroom floor with my jeans down! THANKFULLY nobody (that I'm aware of) came in to use the john during that time.

I can't believe I just told you all that!!!

[Kristin]

Hello everyone! It's so good to read everything. So yeah. I have officially given up my days. I guess I just need to be real with myself. I drank a little brandy last night, but I did get a buzz and I do consider that drinking. I wasn't drunk. It's just really hard because, IDK, it just is. Part of me wants to quit. Part of me just wants to drink less. I don't know but I can't go back to my previous pattern. I just have some sorting out to do. But it was good to come on here and read. Just to check myself a bit and face reality for my situation. I hope everyone can have a alcohol free day, including me!

[Christy]

Cathy-Yea, that would be great to have a videotaped of all the stupid ways we act when we can't handle our booze. Trust me you are not the only one to admit to doing some really assinine? spelling. things. If you read one of my earlier posts, I admitted to being dropped off by someone who didn't know where I lived and I found myself sleeping with just a bra and my shorts on in my neighbors car. Woke up not knowing where I was and knocked on her door when she called 911 because my nose and my face were all f**ked up. Ambulance took me to the hospital for tests and thought I broke my nose. Cops needed to have them to a sexual assault test because I thought someone put something in my drink. Yea right! I was so plastered I didn't know why I was half naked. So there, your story is nothing compared to mine, so don't feel bad. Shit happens and we have to forget it and go on and stay sober! That's where my couple of wines got me.
Lady B- it's so great you learned at your age that you may have a problem. When I was your age I thought I was only a social drinker, but as Sylvane inferred, my wine turned into vodka, brandy or anything to get a buzz.
Billy- We are not kids anymore. Let's get real eh? Yooper, Upper Michigan talk. lol!

[Christy]

Kim-start counseling with just being truthful with the way you are feeling. Let it all out. Don't hold anything back. You must be truthful to yourself and whom you are confiding in. I think once you're in there you will let your feelings out and it will be a weight lifted off your chest. You can do it.

[Mairianna10]

Hi Fifi, I'm a mum of 2, 14 year old boy and 10 year old girl. They've been surrounded by alcohol since over 8 years, every day. I can only say that even in the short time I've been sober I have seen positive changes, particularly having my daughter's friends round, whereas before I couldn't because I'd be drinking. How selfish was I? Especially having suffered the same as a child due to my father's drinking. I so hope they have not been affected and will not go down the road I did.

Hi everyone else, read through all your posts. Wish I could say something inspiring but feeling very down today, all day, haven't been tempted to drink though. Millie, you feeling the same?

I'll be back on tomorrow and hopefully in a better frame of mind.

[Regina]

Welcome Fifi and LadyB!
Here is to Day 2 frog!!
It is 5:15pm - the most difficult time of the day for me and I am getting those cravings. I have to get through them one way or another. I want to start tomorrow morning with no hangover and more hope. :-)

[carol]

Regina,

Hang in there! You can do this!

[Sally]

To all of you struggling - SMILE - and remember one day sober is better than a million drunk ones!! Do what Cathy said - dredge up the worst, most humiliating experience of your drinking and keep going over that in your mind tonight!! That should help you from picking up. Good luck!!

[badger]

Lots of new voices on here lately, great to see this. I urge you all to be strong and DO NOT take that first drink. Do not become complacent. A while back I actually listed in a journal I keep all sorts of humiliating moments I had while drunk also, and let me tell you it was quite a list! Anyway, someone posted the following on a different site about recovery and it struck a chord with me.......I am posting it unedited here.

"All quitting drinking did for me was remove a set of shackles that governed me into mediocrity. That's all it does for any of us. It puts us in a better position to deal with the shit. Running is difficult, losing weight is difficult, dealing with in-laws and sickness and assholes at work is difficult. Sobriety isn't pixie dust, and it doesn't mean it can make all of these things better, but it gives me a fighting chance."

I am on day 18 today - a long way to go but a good start. There is no way I would have ever thought I could make it this long, but I am hanging in there and remain committed. One strategy that has worked for me is to be very aware of my old time of day triggers; those times when my brain always told me to get a drink. Now, I have to consciously redirect myself at those times, replace the old habits with something new. Not always easy, but successful so far. Be strong everyone, do not give in. Life is truly better with a clear head.

[Fifi]

Hahaha - so tired of embarrassing myself!!! OK, so my time (EST) has me at 9:13 p.m. and no vino. Day 1 and still going strong (not really, but hanging in there). And I mean with NO alcohol.

[Fifi]

@BADGER - how I envy you for making it to day 18!!! That is awesome!! Keep it going. I hope to reach you soon.
xo

[Kim]

Badger, great job! Proud and happy for you. Keep posting. It helps us all. Fifi, stay strong, no vino here and were on the same zone! Good night all! Hugs, kim

[Kim]

Thank you so much. I will take a deep breath and keep an open mind. I have the faith and commitment to set things right...for now at least.

[casey]

Welcome LadyB and Fifi. I was feeling down today but reading the posts made me feel better. Good to see everyone working hard to help themselves. Badger, I felt the same way today about sobriety giving me a "fighting chance." I had to deal with some trying issues today but did not drink even though I actually smelled red wine out of thin air. There is nothing more problematic in my life than alcohol. I do feel I have a fighting chance against life stresses sober and I am grateful for that.
Good luck to all!