How to stop drinking

[Millie]

Trish, I am sure that was a shocker. And, what an insensitive way to break such news to you. I am so sorry. Don't let it drag you down, though. You don't want to erase the good work you've done the last 79 days. Just dust yourself off and get back to work. In 5, 10, or twenty years from now, you can say " I have been a nondrinker for x years. It would have been x years, plus 79 days, but for the crazy text message I got one day. After that day, I never let anything or anybody derail me again!!!"

We can do this, with each other's support!!!

[Kim]

DragonFly and Trish - I am so sorry about these idiots in your lives. You both are better than them, to say the least. Badger, Millie, Carol and others ... I echo everything you've already said. Please get back up in the saddle - we are here for you and will always support you. I can understand why you drank - I would have done the same. It's OK - tomorrow is a new sober day. Please keep connecting with us. You are so important to each and every one of us in this forum. I am new here but as I told my husband, this group is "uplifting beyond belief for me". We are all pulling for you. Keep on keeping on...NEVER GIVE UP! hugs...kim

[Regina]

((((Dragonfly))))
I drank today myself. I am so ashamed. I can't imagine how bad you must be feeling. Please know you are not alone. You are a wonderful person. It comes through in your posts. Don't let anyone drag you down.

[Regina]

Wow, Trish. I am so sorry.......

[Trish]

Thanks everybody!! Yesterday was one hell of a day and drinking actually made it worse. Drank until I passed out. Woke up this morning and didn't remember anything except the pain I felt before I started chugging the vodka. Felt physically ill all day. Won't be doing that again!!! It's amazing that I used to do that every day...

The rat bastard even had the nerve to ask me if I wanted to have a "romp" with him and his new man. Said it would be an experience, not a lifestyle...WTF?? may he rot in hell!!

[carol]

Trish, you go, girl!

[carol]

JPVD, your "beer fridge" story is awesome! I know your trip was challenging to your sobriety, so it is great to hear that your reaction to the unexpected wine in the fridge was yuck.

Billy, glad to hear from you. How's it going?

Justin, haven't heard from you lately. How are you doing?

Samantha, you and Kathy must be right around the 90 day mark. Woo hoo!!

Regina, no shame needed. Just wake up in the morning, figure out what your trigger was and how you'll manage it next time, and don't drink tomorrow!

There are a lot of folks now at the few day, one week, two week and more milestones. Congrats to all! There have been some pretty dramatic drinking triggers in the last couple of days, but I'm so happy to see DragonflyF15, Trish, and others coping with adversity and resolving not to let it drive them back to drinking.

Happy freedom from drinking!!

[Ryan]

Day 9 for me, heading into Day 10 (Tuesday). Before I post some thoughts, a quick note for Dragonfly, Trish and Regina regarding their situations and the resumption of drinking. It's a thought I'm going really meditate on and soak through to the bone -- he or she among us who has been sober the longest woke up the earliest.

It's today that counts. It's such a powerful concept. But with that, I honestly wish you nothing but the best outcomes for your individual situations. Dragonfly, what can I say? The first thing that comes to mind is that there are things in life that attract light and others that attract darkness -- and as part of my recovery I'm focused on 'going toward the light.'

Thoughts, questions from today -- WORK. Question about work. I do tend to be a workaholic, and to be honest (as any good workaholic would tell you), my line of work requires it. Really! (Stop snickering. ;-)) Serious question: How have you managed work since you've begun recovery? Have you worked more? Or have you had to make it a point NOT to overdo it?

Finished up "First-Year Sobriety." Good, good read. Strong concepts, and it's available in iTunes cheap. So worth a read. Last night I bought Rob Lowe's new book, "Stories I Only Tell My Friends ... " memoir into his life, career and of course his addiction and sobriety. He has 20 years or so under his belt. I've always been a big fan of his, so I wanted to read about his experiences.

Have a terrific rest of the evening and a sober Tuesday!
Ryan

[Millie]

One week down. I am starting the second week inspired and motivated, thanks in large part to this crew. Dragonfly and Trish, I am so sorry for the events of this weekend. You two remain in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there!!!

[Mel]

Trish and Dragonfly - I second all the heartfelt comments of everyone today. Your drama is unbelievable - but don't let it (and your respective menfolk, - I use the term 'men' advisedly) drag you back into a self-destructive pattern of drinking as retaliatory behavior or falling into the bottle to hide. You can do this without them and without drinking. And it sounds like both of you will be in much better situations in the long-run.

Ryan, with respect to work and early recovery - I found that last year and this time around when I was in the first month of getting sober, I was really distracted. That translated, for me, into trying to focus my energy on 'work' and then not getting anything done and then getting frustrated - and perilously close to my emotional triggers. Do what works for you - if you find that turning to work, helps. Do that. But if you find yourself mentally foggy or exhausted this week and next, maybe don't push yourself so hard or as hard as normal. Really, it is only in the last week or so that I have actively and productively been able to focus on work projects. That has been a big plus of staying away from teh booze - actually feeling like working and getting stuff done.

Just staying clean and living life as a non-drinker. It is getting easier (sort of), although - I think as Samantha said, I still think about alcohol / drinking everyday. Sometimes it is just a flash when I see someone with a cocktail or glass of wine in a film, or it can be more meditative about my past, my future and if I can do this for months, years, decades.

[Mairianna10]

Day 8 and had another productive evening in the garden. I need to keep busy but always thinking about alcohol, not a craving as such but always on my mind. When does that stop? Dragonfly, Trish, Regina - hope you're coping and not drinking today. I really cant believe that for the first time in so long I'm off the stuff. Thank you for your posts and just being there.

[Mairianna10]

Dragonfly, please dont stop posting, we're here to support you. Who knows what's ahead for any one of us. We can help you through this. You're on Day 1 again.

[Mairianna10]

Get through Day 1 Dragonfly, Day 2 tomorrow and you're on the up. Show him you can overcome this and his infidelity.

[Mairianna10]

Dragonfly, you're not pathetic at all, you've been through alot of crap over the last couple of days and sounds like you've been putting up with loads more over the years. Try and have a sleep and see if you can have something light to eat when you get up. I'm in a different time zone so 10.30am here. Log on later please and let us know how you're doing. x

[Billy]

Dragonfly - Hang in there girl!! Everything will be okay!! Don't ever give up!! Like Mairianna said, try and get some sleep, listen to some music and get something to eat when you wake up. Keep posting but get some sleep! YOUR NOT A LOSER!!

[Millie]

Dragonfly15, keep posting here. Let us help you through this. First step Stop drinking, pull yourself together, get something to eat and stop being the victim. As Patrick as stated on here or in his articles, you have choice to be the victim or fighter. Choose the latter. Your former best friend's actions are his problem. You need to focus on your own healing without his drama. You are not a loser; he is! Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

[badger]

My hope for all of us is that we get through today without drinking. We can do it. Let's be fighters! Today is day 10 for me, double digits. Ryan, its double digits for you also, great job. Dragonfly, hang in there, get your strength back and start fresh and go easy on yourself. Later this week I head off for a four day backpacking trip with my teenage sons. In the past I would have brought along some whiskey or wine for myself, and now it feels empowering to know I will be heading into this trip and returning from this trip with a clear head.

[_Erin_]

Dragonfly, even showing up drunk at an AA meeting means you want to get better! You're still trying SO hard to take that first step, even with all that's been thrown your way. I know that none of us want you to go away, even if you're still drinking. You WILL beat this!! Keep reminding yourself that he is not worth you destroying yourself over! He made his choice, he WILL regret it!! I can all but guarantee that. He's been feeling threatened by you getting well, that's why he tries to throw it in your face. ALL of it. He's trying to hurt you, trying to make you feel weak, because in fact HE is the weak one! He's made some super childish moves and like Billy said he is NO MAN!!

We all know the AWESOME person you are! Don't give up, get better and move on for YOU. You're 100% worth it!!!

[Samantha]

To kjbp, i just want to congratulate you on 90 days today! Im so glad to have you as a friend in recovery and a role model. Onward we go. What a great life sobriety brings.

[kjbp]

Thanks Samantha! It is 90 days today and tomorrow will be 91. It is a great feeling, as I've been diligently working at sobriety and recovery for the past year. And the best feeling is realizing that although it is 90 days absolutely free from alcohol controlling my life, it is just an "ordinary" day for me.

I'm feeling very grounded, solid even. I have chosen not to allow alcohol, and thereby anyone or anything, to control how I feel or think. Instead I choose to actively participate in my life instead of being the bystander I used to be. This brings me into an entirely new joy-filled life, but not without occasional fear and challenges. But this energizes me because I am being consciously involved in my life's choices. Empowered, as someone said. Developing my new life brings me a great sense of calm and well-being.

I'm so sorry to hear of the extreme challenges friends here are facing. I encourage you to be involved in your life choices, and not let anyone else have the opportunity to take that from you. Actively participate in controlling your life. Wishing eveyone a Tuesday free from alcohol. Love to all! kathy