How to stop drinking

[Ryan]

Thank you all for the welcome. I am humbled to find so many people of different levels of sobriety here. I plan on learning from you all and hope to get to a point where I can be a resource. Here's the facts with me: While it's technically Day 2 for me -- Day 1-6 is cake for me. Always. I am not a drinker during the week. FRIDAY and SATURDAY nights are my demons. I've thought about planning mini-vacations each of the next 10 weekends or so -- just disappearing, but I also know and understand that I'm going to have to figure out those two obstacles (that is 'Friday' and 'Saturday').

I will note this, an observation: I'm never fully recovered from the weekend until Wednesday. Seriously. It's like I get in two good days each week, Wednesday and Thursday and, well, part of Friday. I'm a slave to the poison from Friday sundown until Sunday at noonish when awaken. Then I spend the next 72 hours binge eating, sleeping and recovering so that I can put my body through the ringer once more.

My goal for this week: Make this forum a habit. Spend 30-45 minutes with it each day. If there are any extra awesome posts, columns, etc., that I need to read - believe me, I'd be appreciative for the suggestion. Ryan.

[Samantha]

Ryan thats a good goal! Try to read through Patricks articles too. They really kept me sober my first 30 days. I always remember him saying to stay sober on the week end because imagine how good monday morning would feel if I didnt drink. I always drank friday and saturday so I really understand that. Once I made up my mind not to drink the week ends without alcohol got easier. It will get easier for you too.

Nicolelee, Patrick told me after 30 days to really think about what had changed since I stopped drinking. To make a list of all the positives and negatives. And if life was really better without alcohol those 30 days to commit to another 30. You may not want to do it that way. Im just sharing as that worked for me. Fatigue alot of us had. It gets better just get lots of rest. And congrats on your new life.

[Sally]

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I also believe that things happen when they are supposed to - in their own time. Dragonfly you are so right - it's like the stars align and boom there you are - right where you need to be at that time in your life. Know what I mean? Short story - the first time I decided to do something about my drinking and began attending AA, out of the blue I got a phone call from an old friend asking me to take her to rehab. She didn't even know that I wasn't drinking anymore (we hadn’t spoken in months). And if I had been, I would have been in no position to help her. I felt like it was pre-destined that I had felt this burning desire just at that point in my life to clean up my act - when she needed me most. Ahhhh the mysteries of life...

[Christy]

Justin-you can do it. You sound like the story of my life. Drink, feel like hell and regretting that feeling. And here I go again. Sounds likes my favorite Whitesnake song.

[Christy]

Dragonfly-you were meant to be at that meeting tonight. Just go with it. These are little things in your life that will be put there for you to keep pressing on with sobriety. And yes things do happen for a reason at the right times.
Ryan-Welcome! It sounds like a great plan that you may have for the weekend. Try to do something fun that doesn't involve alcohol. Take this time to explore something new. It sounds like you have a goal, so make it happen.

[Mairianna10]

Hi, I'm on Day 1 AGAIN and I'm looking for support to help me stop drinking alcohol. I know cutting down doesn't work for me and I need to stop altogether but I dont like the idea of AAs. I've been drinking every day for about 8 years with small gaps of the odd day and maybe 5 days max once. It's now progressed to drinking in the morning if I dont have to go out. I dont like the control drink is beginning to have on my life and I'm worried about my health and my family (I have 2 children). I depend on drink for sleep, had a reduced amount of alcohol (which would have a 'normal' drinker bouncing off the walls!) last night and restless, sleepless night, but actually feel a little better than usual. Husband drinks but he seems to be able to control it. Says he wants to stop too but I know he's not as ready as I am. Difficult to have drink around but I hope to be on here tomorrow having not touched a drop. Would appreciate some words of wisdom, Mairianna

[Mairianna10]

Ryan, just seen your post, sounds similar to me, I joined today, I haven't reached 6 days either in the past 8 years but I really need to make a change. Good luck

[Regina]

Today is Day 2 for me. I am feeling a bit more hopeful. I want to move forward sober. I have spent too much of my life drunk.

[Billy]

Good Morning Everybody!!

Wow! Alot of newbies on here with a bunch of different perspectives about the different phases of that damn alcohol. Pretty interesting reading. I guess I'm one of the "old timers" on this forum and have been reading, but not posting because at first I didn't think I could relate to some of the issues, but then thought about it and we are all in the same plight of the alcoholic spiral.

My situation was an everyday drinker for about 25 years. I was not a binge drinker or a AM drinker and never drank at work or at lunch, but I "loved" my 3 or 4 martinis after work everyday!! How I looked forward to those drinks, almost romanticizing the time that I could have them, starting around early afternoon, and for what?? What does it do for you?? Absolutely nothing!! Like it has been posted in the past, alcohol only wrecks havoc on the most important things in life; time, energy, love and money!! Things you can never have enough of and can't get back once you lose them!! When I think back at how much of these precious items I wasted being bellied up to the bar makes me sick!!

I really feel that one of the most important keys to beating this devil is that one needs to be in control and not let the alcohol control you!! Finding that key is the challenge we all face. Now I'm still far from perfect, but I am getting and have gotten alot better with all my friends on this forum, reading as much as I can about alcoholism and help from my Doctor. Keep posting everyone; it keeps you accountable and it helps to hear about others situations.

We can all be another success story on this forum, one just has to want it more than ANYTHING in the world!!

[Mairianna10]

Me too Regina, hopefully we can help each other, best wishes

[Mairianna10]

Hi Billy, I'm feeling optimistic this time but then I always do but it feels different somehow, I do feel I've reached a desperate point where I need to turn my life around, kids are seeing us drinking all the time also but I want to stop for me too, looking forward to support from yourself and others on the forum as I move towards day 3/4 and the weekend.

[Ralenva]

Hi guys! Just joined, read some really interesting posts. I look forward to reading more as I stop drinking and begin to enjoy my life again.

[kjbp]

Hi all, the synergy in the group and the new infusion speaks volumes to the desire we all have to have the life we deserve. Billy, your post this morning was beautiful. I can see and feel how much you are discovering about yourself, what you need and what you want. You will no longer let alcohol take that away from you, congratulations!

An interesting thought came to me after reading many of the other posts from the past couple of days. Mairianna, you mention feeling different this time. Several of us have mentioned the same thing, so we know exacrly what you are feeling - don't let go of that!!! Could it be the difference this time is that rather than craving alcohol, we simply now crave our new life we tasted? I don't know that I could say I ever physically "craved" alcohol; I didn't give my system a chance to crave it because it was always in my system. But I do know for certain that I crave this new way of living that I'm discovering without alcohol.

I wish the same discovery for all my friends here and those to come! Stay positive, if even just a tiny bit each day, and as you blossom, your life and sobriety will, too.

Have an alcohol free day today! Love t all, kathy

[casey]

hello everyone. I am back. I thought I was okay for a bit but I am not. I need to be here reading and writing. I am so scared of thinking about living without ever drinking again. I get so bored at times without alcohol.
then I always hate myself after for giving in. I never want to feel so depressed again. so I am back and I hope I can beat this addiction. I have so much to read and catch up on. I notice new names. I hope everyone is doing well. Can someone explaine the difference between an alcoholic and a problem drinker for me. I think they are the same but some think there is a difference.

[casey]

Thanks sylvane. I am sure that my depression will diminish as the alcohol leaves my system. I am having a very rough time today. My longest non drinking period lasted almost 3 weeks. I am hoping this is it for me. I want to have peace. I hope we all get it.

[Cathy]

Hello Kathy, Sally, Carol, Bill, Sam and others. I'm grateful to call you guys my new friends. I'm back to day 1 again, but as someone said "something seems different this time". I don't know if I'm just fooling myself but I'm curious how you guys felt or thought on your last day drunk? Whether it was 6 days ago or 80 days ago? Every time I resolve and make this "never again" comittment, I never really know for sure if this is it or not! Is it surprising to have actually made it as far as you have, or did you too kind of know or have a feeling about it?

I made a new comittment to myself, my husband, and to God today. I've recieved so much good advice from you guys and have read so many stories that I can absolutely relate to. I've been waking up craving to connect with you guys because you understand the ups and downs of it all. Because I've tried so hard to hide my drinking from my family and friends, I haven't been able to really talk about it with anyone.....until now that is.

My last post was written under the influence but even I learned something from it today looking back on it. I think it was you Sally who said "drinking is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die" I'd never heard that before, but this morning I heard the exact same thing on a tv program I was watching. I don't know, but it made me right away think - I have to let go of everything that's bothering me these days. I have to stop looking at my husband with negative thoughts. If I don't I might as well be in the grave!

[Mel]

Hellos, and an especially welcome to all the new people.

Cathy - I'm one of those that have 'felt different' this time around in attempting to stay sober. One of the differences for me was in how I felt that last time I was truly wasted (pack of high octane beer, plus about 1/4 bottle of tequila - consumed in about 3 hours). In my previous heavy drinking days, waking up with a hangover was a badge of honor / toughness - I used to revel in feeling sick and still making it through. Going out to greasy breakfasts or laying around with my buddies (who spent the night) bemoaning our bad habits (all with tongue firmly planted in our oh-so-superior cheeks). The bad next-day became a part of the package of war-stories we swapped and shared and cherished. But there had started to be no one around when I was getting super-wasted and the last time, I woke up and hated it. Hated all of it. Thought 'how stupid are you' - drinking like that, alone, and feeling like shit - this is not fun or a proof of anything other than that you are an addict. I hated it while I was drinking it down and I hated it (not myself, 'it' - the booze, the behavoir, the power it had over me and my sane/rational self). And then for the first time ever, I googled for support / rehab and found this website and got up the courage to reach out. That was the difference. I recognized that I couldn't do this alone. Not anymore.

[Mairianna10]

Hi Cathy and all, I'm on day 1 and it was me that "feels something is different this time". I'm just done with hiding it and not living, there is so much wasted time, constant bad head, bad breath, overweight, procrastination, money worries.

Hubby came home with his supply today and offered me a glass of wine. I didn't have any but usually I would be full of good intention during the day and then give in, as if he is giving me permission to drink. He doesn't want me to drink but we sort of encourage each other with "OK, after this weekend that's it" and on we go to the next weekend, etc, etc. Made dinner and then visited a neighbour which is something I rarely do of an evening as I had begun to drink earlier and earlier in the day and of course I'm hiding my drunkeness. Felt good that I went over, I think she suspects we are (were) heavy drinkers.

Came back from my visit and as I shut the door that familiar feeling came over me of needing a drink. I came on here instead. I definitely wont drink tonight. Do you think I will get bad withdrawal symptoms as I have been drinking an awful lot more over the last 2-3 months?

Early stage for me and I hope you all manage to get through too. Maybe the thing that feels different is finding this forum and you guys, I've always believed that things come in for you when you are at your lowest.

All the best

[Mairianna10]

Hi Mel, I see you feel something has clicked too. Sorry, I would have seen that but I was trying to write my post and the wee one was coming in, first to put up a poster in her room, then for a snack, so I've been up and down. When I got up today I was all set to approach a friend in AA but I live in such a close community that its just not for me. I am so happy that I found this forum. Just like you I googled and up it came.

[Cathy]

Hi Marianna and Mel, Well I made it to 4pm without buying. Hubby gets home at 4:30 and usually I get started before he comes home. He was so upset with me last night, ended up leaving (again) and came in this morning just before 5am and time to go to work. He works 10 shift, 4days a week. I knew he was going to be so tired at work today and I was just so angry with myself, my situation and broke down crying. I emailed him early pleading for forgiveness....again.....and he asked me to bring him some lunch time and we would talk. I'm hurting him so bad and that's just not acceptable to me anymore. I know I won't drink tonight because we're delivering our old sectional couch to a church youth group at 7pm, and then visiting one of my daughters and son in law after that. I'm already thinking about tomorrow though because I work from home and am here all day by myself. When we get home this evening I'm going to pick up reading the past posts where I left off #45. Say a prayer for me, as I will for all of you. Thank you dear people. Try to have a sober and safe evening.