Hi Alison. We share the same poison - Chardonnay (or any white wine in my case.) I am having major sleep trouble (I put fresh sheets on the bed too) but I guess that is how it is going to be for awhile.
I need to stay motivated. I need to remind myself that sobriety is worth it. That I am worth it.
Morgan
“If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it.” ~ William Arthur Ward
Hey all, Good to see Morgan and Alison back and working it. I'm on day 2. I've really been struggling very badly since March. But, had an honest (well, fairly honest) conversation with my main drinking buddy and I didn't sugarcoat it - as in, sorry dude, I've got to stop and if we are going to hang out (we are professional colleagues as well as friend-friends) then I need your support. And she was fully on board - not just supporting me, but asking me to help create things to do and places to go where we both don't feel the need to drink. So, this is the second person outside of these forums who has at least some part of the story and is asking for mutual support. Day 2. I can do this. The problem, of course, has always been that I can do it outside or with the supportive people around, but it is when I am alone that I succumb to alky-voice. Day 2. Feeling good (okay, better than I did 2 days ago).
Take care everyone.
Hey, great to see you Mel! Good call on having the conversation with you drinking buddy,..it will help both of you and will be good support for you to also have someone to talk to in person, who knows you well,..in addition to this forum. I have also found that opening up to other people about this problem gets easier the more you do it. Not that you need to spew all over anyone who will listen,..but it does seem to add confidence and mental strength the more you address it. It somehow reinforces it in your mind and adds to your resolve. You can do this Mel, I know you can. I've seen you (not really) when you have your mind set on it,..and you really had it rolling before your last slip. You were really at your best,..and I think you probably know it. I look forward to watching you get back to that place over the next couple of weeks. I'm on day 31 now and am sensing that "now what?" mentality starting to creep in. What I need to focus on is just how great I feel now and how easy life is,..as compared to when I am/was drinking. It's night and day literally,..and all of us know it. That's the frustrating,..and senseless part of this fight.Originally Posted by Mel
Welcome back Kimber - it's nice to see you back. And others of you still fighting the good fight .....
I’m sitting here on a rainy afternoon, thinking about drinking. After 4 months, three weeks, and six days I still fight our common demon. I don’t post often, but do check in, if only to encourage myself to keep quitting. I’m grateful for the postings of the more senior members here who lead the way, and the musings of some newer folks who are gaining traction. I send positive energy to those of us who are still raw and struggling. Thank you all for sharing so honestly. I think we can all gain from the discussions of our struggles and the individual support here. Too many to name each one of you, but I thank you for posting.
Selfishly, I’m writing to remind myself of why and how I quit, in hopes that I’ll add another day to my sobriety and refresh my passion for this new life. For 30 years I woke up with a headache and fuzzy brain every day, swearing it would be my last hung-over morning, only to open a bottle of wine again by 5 or 6 PM and be into my second bottle within an hour after. By 8 PM I’d be useless. I would avoid going out with my family, or accepting invitations to events, because I wanted to be home to drink. I would hide the bottles as I purchased them, and take them to the dumpster after they were empty because, after all, what would the trash guys think of my consumption? My blood pressure and weight were rising, and my daughters were openly disgusted with me. I would promise them I’d quit, only to surreptitiously drink again, fooling no one.
I don’t know why I quit on January 16. I wish I could bottle up the determination and send it to all my friends here. I don’t know if I will choose to keep it up forever, but today I won’t drink. What helped me when I started, and continues now:
1. Zero tolerance. I do not open a bottle. I use the SOBER acronym often (thanks Eric). Stop, Observe, Breath, Examine, Redirect. I do not lift the glass to my lips, period.
2. I surf the cravings. I don’t try to eliminate them, I just feel them as they come (less often now) and remind myself that the feeling will eventually pass. I accept that I will want to drink – I choose not to act. The brief relief that a drink might provide is not worth the recrimination that follows.
3. Zero tolerance. I do not drink.
4. I read Patrick’s articles over and over, and listen to all of you.
5. Zero tolerance. I do not drink
6. I joined a face-to-face SMART group which meets once a week and provides great support.
7. Zero tolerance. I do not drink.
8. I drink lots of green tea or sparkling water.
9. Zero tolerance. I do not drink.
10. When I feel like drinking I take the dog out to walk, I clean a closet, I sort laundry, I go shopping – I just DON’T OPEN THE BOTTLE.
11. Zero tolerance. I do not drink.
12. I write my thoughts down to refer back to. I often think I should be “rewarded” with a drink and it helps to reflect on my musings on the journey.
13. Zero tolerance. I do not drink
14. When my AV gets in my ear, I think about the wasted time/years of my life, and the limited time I have left. I feel so much better now, and I like waking up in the morning and simply making my bed. The simple things make a difference and I focus on those changes.
Thanks for being here everyone …. Never quit quitting.
Your history is not your destiny .... it is only part of your story
Kimber and Julie its great to hear from you pros. Its 8 days for me i wish it was more. but i feel good. I also wish we could hear from everyone who has been on this post in the past. so many success stories and it helps to know whats ahead for those who can get past the first hard days.
Julie - great list, I need to remember and work on zero zero zero tolerance. Thanks Kevin for the words of encouragement and support - they mean a lot. I'm off to a bonfire with friends, toting along delicious grapefruit soda and my friend that I had the heart-to-heart with yesterday is also planning to bring over non-alky stuff and reiterated that she hopes we can support each other not-drinking. Nice. Okay, wish me luck. I'm sure that I'll be able to report back that the only bottle that I opened was bubbly and grapefruit with nary an alcoholic molecule in sight.
Day 12 done. Wishing all of you a wonderful night:]
Hi all
Doing OK here. Julie, I lived in Baltimore for 6 months when I was 21. I was a family companion for a family who's child had a disability. The dad was a doctor who worked at the Johns Hopkins University. Not sure why I've just told you about that mindless information LOL.
Thanks to Kev1, my books arrived from Mark Tuschel. In fact I received 2 books plus a DVD. The books were signed and dated by him. Th books are called 'living sober sucks'. I read a 3rd of the first book last night and he defo has my sense of humour. Can't wait to read on!
Morgan....still with me girl?
The Olympic opening ceremony was revealed last night on the news. OMG.........wait for it............................It's going to be a f+8k@ng farm!!!!!!! Noooooo!!!!!
Has anybody got a hut in the wilderness I can go into for a month?
By the way, the booze is still by my front door and I ain't touched it!
Stay clean and serene!
Julie, it was good to see your post! I love your list of what keeps you sober and #14 really hits home for me. So many wasted years and I just want to make the most of each day now. Well said, and thank you.
The thoughts and cravings will always be there but so will the knowledge of what is bound to happen if I give in. I won't go back there. I finally respect myself enough to want to continue this better way of living.
Have a great sober day, everyone!
Starting day 3. Feeling good - bonfire went well, I and my friend did not drink and no one else was really pounding them back. So, check. I'm committing to Patrick's 30 days. I need to get through that first bump of success, and - yeah - I'm going to play the 'after 30 days I can drink x' (but also reminding myself every day how much better I feel, how much more capable I am, and how much more I am getting accomplished - and that while it might be terrifying right now, maybe I can really do this for the rest of my life.) I practiced this last bit last night - someone said, 'hey - you aren't drinking'. I said "nope, I think that I'm done, drank all my drinks, had a good run of it, gonna try something new.' and winked. People laughed and said, awesome if you can do it - cheers!
So that's why this thread suddenly dropped from 304 pgs down to 299 ;-)JOHN! SO good to see you too.
Yes.....no more boyfriends for a while. Think I'm going to really suck up this single thing and let someone wine and dine me for a change (at some point). For now I am perfectly content in my new home alone with my knitting, plants, and recipes
I have gone back and deleted all my prior posts so that this is only my 2nd post.
For many reasons I guess.
I don't want to look back.....I don't want to count how many times I have fallen............I want a fresh clean start.....I SO want to make it this time.
17 days has been my record...........I plan to break it this time.
I moved into my new apartment 7 days ago and today I celebrate 7 days. I DO NOT want to bring alcohol into my new home.
I'm going to see how long I can accomplish this goal...........one day at a time.
Thank you SO much for the warm welcome back. I have missed you ALL immensely!!
I was wondering what happened,..a shame though to just flush 5 pages of perfectly good drama down the cyber-toilet Kimber. Great to see you back,..and congrats on the new pad, sounds great.
Day 13 done. check.
Hi all
Feeling good. I'm engrossed in 'living sober sucks' by Mark Tuschel. I have been in fits of laughter. He has a great answer to when someone offers you a drink...'I'm sorry, I can't drink. I'm allergic to alcohol. It causes me to break out in stupidity!' Love it.
The way we feel today is a result of what we did yesterday.
How true is that.
toodle pip.
Hi everyone
I am still here - still reading posts every day....and still drinking. I thought yesterday was going to be my freedom day - was so strong until the 6:00 pm beast came calling. I was going to follow Julie's great list and then ???? I woke up this morning thinking I wish I could be like the others on the forum and just quit and it occured to me that is probably my problem - I am 'wishing' I could quit and not DOING it. I could wish to win the lottery and it may or may never happen because that is out of my control, but it would be silly to wish to go to the store and get more milk when I needed it instead of just doing it....so maybe that is my "aha" moment - stop wishing and take control and just do it. I will announce today as my freedom day 1 and take control of my choices.
Yep, Hope, "Just Do It"!!! I'll be rooting for you, and Alison, Noel and other friends out there. I always remember something Ruth posted way back along the lines of: It's really simple, just not easy. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done, and I've climbed mountains. NEVER QUIT QUITTING and one day it will stick. I also think about Patrick's statement that no one really wants to quit, but those who do make the decision anyway and then just act on it. Simple, not easy.
Your history is not your destiny .... it is only part of your story
Today is day one for me. I know I have to quit. These posts have been great. Keep 'em coming.
Day 3 done and day 4 well on its way. No real temptations today and tomorrow - well, except as Hope points out - myself and my wish to drink. So far, so good. I am relieved that I have made it this far, because I was back into really really damaging patterns of drinking (alone, a lot; with others, a lot; drinking before going out to drink, etc etc.).
Good luck everyone, stay strong.
Kimber-that sick and tired of being sick and tired list was me one year ago. Now it's been one year yesterday that i did not have a drink. It isn't easy, I think that everyone on here doesn't really want to quit, but there comes a time that enough is enough!
To everyone stuggling the first few days, weeks and months are difficult, but in the long run it is so worth it.
Good job Kimber on 8 days, and to Mel, it's good to hear from you and stay strong!
Christy, a big congratulations!What a fantastic achievement. I know for me it was so important to not be around alcohol in the early days of sobriety, but you had no choice working in your bar / restaurant. You have truly demonstrated a determination to succeed and overcome, and along the way, you have helped to inspire me. Have a fantastic day!
Hi to everyone. The thought crossed my mind yesterday about Eckhart Tolle's writings of the power of the present moment. I remember reading and wondering what his 'solution' is to letting go and living in the now. He basically says there are only three perspectives from which to live life: acceptance, joy, enthusiasm!
I thought this was too simplistic, not enough information to go on! But, I continue to see there is merit to his approach. In many ways I have seen how I resist what is, that is, I'm not accepting the present moment. The more I practice acceptance, the freer I feel. I may not like accepting that I can't drink, but as I keep reminding myself of that as each opportunity arises, the more comfortable I am with it.
There are now times I experience the joy of sobriety. I still gain so much inner fulfillment from drifting off to sleep peacefully and waking up clear-headed. It's great knowing I can go out in my car at any time if I need to. It's also fantastic not going through all those awful feelings that came each day after drinking.
Further still, I'm now able to experience times of enthusiasm much more than I could in the past. I have recently been involved in a project of building myself a camping trailer and I'm really enjoying it. I look forward to my first camping trip in it soon.
I'm experiencing life on it's own terms a lot more nowadays, and although it can still be tough at times, I'm grateful to be doing it sober.
Congratulations to everyone for being here - just that in itself is an achievement and part of the journey. Hang in there and be kind to yourself. Just for today allow yourself to accept everything as it is right now. I really like the saying 'what you resist persists'! Resist nothing! Best wishes. Have a great sober day.
Welcome Wlinser hang in there. Good to hear from Sylvane! Hope and Noel it gets better keep going. My 10th time this year and Im up to almost 2 weeks again and it feel alot better. So many emotions but so much better than being numb then tired and depressed. It gets better we must do our best not to miss the beautiful summer!!!
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