How to stop drinking

[Mel]

I think that I need to recommit to another no excuses 30 days. I fell off the wagon last week, not hard - but, was totally inexplicable and stupid (so, say I inside my head). I'm back at the gym after being sick as a dog. I've been sneaking back up in weight (falling off the diet wagon + not exercising) . . . and I have an incredibly important deadline / trip /presentation coming up.

At the gym today, one of our instructors - hardcare Polly - mentioned at the end of warm-up that 8 weeks ago (the gym goes in 8 week cycles) she found out her mother was ill, and that her mom died this past Saturday. She said that her hope/wish for all of us was to life to the fullest for these 8 weeks, to be healthy and happy and work at the top of our game wherever/whatever. That seemed to hit me very directly - so I'm in it for 30 days and then in it for another 30 days.

[bdog]

Hi everyone,

I have not been able to write in a week since I took the fall after 35 days and really screwed up on a business trip. Work seems to be giving me a chance but i have to go to a alcohol and drug abuse treatment program of what and how long to be determined tomorrow morning with local counceler. so i have been pretty depressed for a week. Dont let it get to this if you have a good job. it is so ugly. in a couple of weak moments i hurt a lot of people and maybe my future the way i knew it.

[Bryan]

Good Monday to all,

Jeff, glad you were able to take a ride on your bike. Sometimes in life we really need those little things to give us needed inspiration.

Bdog, I'm sorry you're having to deal with some uncomfortable things with your work situation. One way to look at it though is that you are already committed to trying to live a sober life, taking part in a treatment plan should only help your cause I would think. It also shows you that your employer does really care about you as a person.

It seems funk was in the air last weekend here. For me it was the combination of spring break (still have memories of college drinking trips), St. Patrick's day (Green Beer), and March Madness (just another reason to go to a bar to watch games). All of this during the same time was tough for a little while. However, after pulling through it successfully I feel stronger than before.

I too am looking for some new inspiration and something new to invest some time into. Curious to see what some of you are getting into.

Stay strong,

Bryan

[James G]

The Positive Pledge

I pledge to be a positive person and positive influence on my family, friends, co-workers and community.

I promise to be positively contagious and share more smiles, laughter, encouragement and joy with those around me.

I vow to stay positive in the face of negativity.

When I am surrounded by pessimism I will choose optimism.

When I feel fear I will choose faith.

When I want to hate I will choose love.

When I want to be bitter I will choose to get better.

When I experience a challenge I will look for opportunity to learn and grow.

When faced with adversity I will find strength.

When I experience a set-back I will be resilient.

When I meet failure I will fail forward towards future success.

With vision, hope, and faith, I will never give up and will always move forward towards my destiny.

I believe my best days are ahead of me, not behind me.

I believe I'm here for a reason and my purpose is greater than my challenges.

I believe that being positive not only makes me better, it makes everyone around me better.

So today and every day I will be positive and strive to make a positive impact on the world.

[AlisonUK]

Hi all. James G. You are a true inspiration to us all. I did post this morning on another thread that caught my eye. Bdog.....did your employers sort the treatment centre out or you? They must really care for you and value you as a person not to fire you and give you the help that you need.

It's been really nice here. The sun has paid this country a visit and it's amazing how good the warmth feels on your face. Sadly though, we have to endure people with fewer clothes on! Now......... why is it the lard arses come out in force! Mind you....it can stop you eating that extra cake!. The Spanish call us 'Gambas' (prawns). Us brits arrive grey and turn pink when cooked!!!! LOL. I love that one!

I hope that you are all well and staying clean and serene. Toodle pip!

[Ken1]

Wow James, that's beautiful! It reminds me of the Prayer of St. Francis which I always carry with me. Thanks for your post.

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.


O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

[bdog]

Thanks everyone. I do believe that my work does care they did set things up to make it easy for me to get started but im a little of the unknown. that is actually what got me started on this strange path in the first place. well, have a good night and i will let you know how it goes sometime soon. already filled out a lot of paper that i really dont want people to know about. i legally dont think they can share this info but who knows about anything today. take care

[ToddE]

Hello Everyone,

Hope all is going well. I was offered drinks a couple times yesterday. I just politely declined. I wasn't tempted or anything, but the one place I was at had a bar setup in the basement that I checked out. Not from a sense of longing, but more of from the place I've just been able to leave. I few weeks back I would have had a few in me before I got there, had whatever party punch drink was being served upstairs and a couple beers from the basement fridge. I looked at the bar setup, to see which bottles I would have hit off of on top of that, so as other people wouldn't notice how much I actually had to drink.

I am glad to be off of that life style, even if it's only been a little bit. The truth is there is no amount of alcohol left that can satisfy me. I could have ten drinks over a couple hours and barely notice it. Not that I wasn't impaired to drive or do things requiring concentration, just no nice buzz. I would often have up to 20 drinks a day, but that didn't help either. If it was over too long a time period, it was the same thing. If it was over a short time period, I was more likely to pass out than actually get to a good buzz.

Most of my drinking then was just to keep the addiction at bay. Not a real fun place to be at. I read somewhere on this site, some advice that if you want to quite for good, you have to give up the fantasy that drinking will ever be fun again. Most of the advice I've read I already have come to on my own, although it's nice to read it from someone else. The no fantasy of ever drinking again, I wasn't at though. The first couple times I quit, that fantasy was actually critical, for me anyway, to get started. Kind of like, OK I'll give it a try, maybe go a few years, but then I can drink again, right? I can see right now, the flaw in that thinking, at least. Drinking has not been, fun for a long time and it never will be again. Not in a couple weeks, not in a couple years, not in 20 years.

Bdog,
I hope your job situation works itself out. I hope even more your drinking situation gets under control. You had 35 days in before your let down, so you know you can string good days together. Just keep at it.

I think this is day 8 for me.

Take care everyone.

-Todd

[JacquieC]

Hello All, James that pledge is amazing. I have copied it out and will print it up and look at it every day. Thanks for that, and also thanks Ken1. You guys are truly inspirational.
Bdog. Hang in there, as it was mentioned by Sue (I Think), this may be the kick in the butt you need to come to terms with things. Life WILL get better, just stay strong and you will be good. Today is day 73 for me. I am so happy that I have made it 10 weeks without a drink, I am looking forward the 3 months mark and can't believe I will be there in 2 weeks.
Stay strong guys. You can do it.
Jacquie

[Midwest Sue]

Bdog, embrace the offer of assistance and take full advantage of it. Keep in touch because we care how you're doing and many of us are just one drinking episode away from where you find yourself. Don't feel alone or embarrassed. Hold your head high.

James, I love the Positive Pledge and immediately shared it with my husband, who tends to dwell on the negative.

Jacquie, you and I are both close to 3 months - can you believe it? Tonight I had positive reinforcement when I received a text from my son who was caught on his bike far from home in a rainstorm. It was after 8 pm, and 3 months ago I would not have been able to drive at that time in the evening. Stone cold sober tonight, I went and rescued him and was so happy that I didn't have to turn him down.

Take care of yourselves and plan on a sober day tomorrow. I will do the same.

[loopy]

Hi Mary
I have just joined this forum also. It is new to me. still wondering how and if it can help me. I am 3 days sober. I have had the very same thoughts as you. Why did I do it, is my husband going to forgive me this time( he always did) I abused his trust and his belief that I really wanted to put him and my children before alcohol. I do love them more than life itself. Unfortunately I hurt him extremely this last time( after 20 years of marriage and progressive alcohol abuse). He was away working and I was with the kids alone at home and I decided to drink( 3 weeks after a promise of abstinence). I was completely inebriated and couldn't answer the phone when he called over 40 times. He was concerned that something might have happened to us all and eventually rushed back home 1 hour away to find me passed out and my glass refilled with some vile drink mix. I used to thik that I could always prevent that happening if I was alone. I overdrank many times with him around but I felt safe because he was there and the children were safe. I cannot explain what mad me do this , but I take it as a sign that things are bad, very bad. He said he had to leave and take the children that I was a completely unfit mother( which I am if I choose to drink). For the first time I really was scared of losing my life and I hated what I had let alcohol do to me. I have joined a local AA group. My mom helped me to make the call and helped me to deal with some of my immediate emotions. It was not easy calling her and admitting all of this( I am 38). However it was the best thing I could have done. I needed help there was no other way.I feel very positive. I know there are going to be many bumps along the way. So many character defects to work through that have been some of the reasons why I choose to drink. Also insecurities. Attended a meeting last night and met some people who are so amazing. Just because they are there , anytime, they really and truly want to help. I have never been able to ask for help in any part of my life and I have isolated my self to such a degree that I was going to end in real disaster. I am so very grateful for a chance a life , real free life. Please keep posting it is our life line. We understand each other. oh and one other thing. Nobody who wasn't in my home would ever know or suspect that I was an alcoholic. I lived with that secret for most of my adult life and it is destructive.

[loopy]

Hi Carol, I know what you mean about memory lapses. it is incredibly scary how the short term memory goes when you drink even moderately( by that I mean every 2nd or 3rd day only). My husband used to say "see I am worried that your brain is fired". that was so humiliating to me, especially since one of my insecurities is not being intelligent enough. 3 days sober and I honestly do not want a drink. I am feeling vulnerable and know I need to talk to someone from AA to verbalise this feeling of insecurity. Maybe I just need to get out and get into action.(exercise or something healthy) I am so grateful for a chance at life one more time. I cannot blow this.

[AlisonUK]

Hi all. Good morning again from a sunny London!. Loopy, we have all been there, gone there or still going there. This forum is an unbiased platform to say what ever it is and not feel ashamed in that! It would have been 80 days today but I have fallen off my bike a couple of times on this road to recovery. These relapses are all part of it because they show you how bad the poison is and how negative a life you live in. As we all know, having a sober mind holds very little time for depression, anxiety etc. In the 7 weeks I went without a drink were quite possibly the best time I have ever had in my 45 years. I can honestly say that. I am married with two teenage daughters and I used the booze to block out the increasing demands that were set on me and a husband who has a stressful job and I was the one who was taking the brunt of it! The one person who I forgot about was ME! I was stick on the hampster's wheel of life and didn't know how to get off! The one thing the booze was doing most of all was blocking my zest for life and confidence. I did try AA but the group I attended didn't have any time for relapsers. I needed support when I did because I was still (and still am) finding out who I am. OK....I'm a wife and mother but I'm also ALISON!
I am so grateful for having my black labrador Charlie who gives me nothing but love and I get my excercise and the breeze through my hair because of him. A true friend.

Now as you all know...this post is deep for me......I dyed my hair last night and I rekon it's the chemicals!! LOL
Off to toast my NY bagel...Have a clean and serene day everyone.
Toodle pip.

[Beth]

Alison, thanks for the deep post. Your points are right on. That hampster wheel like our addiction becomes habit. I know now that I have realized it, I can change it. Not easy but necessary for my survival.
Welcome Loopy, I have read your posts on the other forums. Thank you for your honesty. You sound like you are on the right path. Stick with it, you can do this! And please let us know how you are doing.
STAY(sober today and yesterday).

[carol]

Hi, everyone! Just a quick note to let you know I'm still reading and cheering you on! I've managed to get myself overcommitted with my volunteer and home activities (I'm retired but lately it's like I'm working full time), so haven't had time to reflect and post.

Belated happy birthday wishes to Ken & Sue!

When the subject of Billy's business trip to Vegas and us all getting together there came up, I had a visual of all of us sitting on barstools at a Vegas bar, drinking our non-alcoholic drink of choice, and enjoying ourselves immensely. We'd have to leave a big tip, of course, for the poor bartender who wouldn't know why this was happening to him/her! Billy, not sure if it was last Friday or this coming Friday when you were going to get your test results, but for you and others in the same situation, here's a thought. The "alky voice" will say, see, no damage has been done, you're good to go, you've had some time off, go drink and have a good time! Instead, think of the good results as a blessing on you as you create your new life as a non-drinker.

It's spring, guys (caveats, OK it's spring in the northern hemisphere & it sure doesn't feel like it in some parts, but the calendar says it is). The flowers bloom, buds grow, little green shoots pop up unexpectedly. . . what better time to create a new life for ourselves free from alcohol!!

I was cleaning out my nightstand and ran across 2 old notebooks filled with dates & weights, representing 2 of the many failed attempts to lose weight and stop drinking. Based on the weight I saw, one must have been at least 15 years old, maybe closer to 20. One entry, "drinking too much, bad, bad, bad". Oh, I never, ever want to go back to those days. So many years lost. But this moment is precious, and the moment after that. I'm free!

I won't drink today!!

Have a great one, y'all!

[nomoredayones]

It is such a beautiful day today. I am so glad I am not facing it with a hangover! It is truly one day at a time but I never want to go back to where I was.

[ToddE]

Just cleaned up a bit. I had put it off until now in case I would have been tempted earlier. Was mostly just empty bottles. Couple full cans of beer tucked away in the basement, that I did remember and quarter bottle left over Gin. Poured out what was left. I noticed the smell of the beer, which struck me kind of funny. If I was drinking, I wouldn't have noticed the smell.

I thought the clean up might have cheered me up more, like on a symbolic level or something. It didn't really do anything like that, though.

I think I'll try a little meditation, see if I can set my center or whatever you call that. I was going to read, but feeling a little too tired or just off a bit, for that right now.

I don't feel like drinking at all right now, so that's a bright spot.

Take care everyone. I liked your post Alison, it was a nice perspective.

-Todd

[JeffR1]

Hi ToddE. Welcome. Good on you for getting rid of the leftover alcohol. I had a similar experience when pouring the last couple of cans of beer I had in the house down the sink. I’m guessing it sort of served as a reminder that it was the end of drinking. So, whilst on one hand it felt good to pour it down the sink and not down my throat, it also reminded me of the commitment and challenge I had set myself. My experience was that the unease will clear quickly enough if you keep focussed on sobriety and how good you can feel without the alcohol in your body. Keep up the great progress.

Midwest Sue and JacquieC: 3 months soon – fantastic! Go for it.

Day 70 for me! So pleased I’m off the hamster wheel also!

Have a great sober day everyone. Best wishes. Jeff

[AlisonUK]

Hi all. Just a quick post. Glad you are all doing well. It's sunny again here!!! Yay! Just finished a 3 mile walk with my mate and our dogs. It's a good time to thrash out all the crap that's doing our heads in. Chat therapy!
Stay clean and serene folks.

[kevin2]

Good morning all! I haven't posted alot lately for some reason,...just been really busy for the last couple of weeks. I'm back up to day 18 after slipping at 70+ days. Congratulations to all of you who are piling up the months,..Sue, Jacquie, James, Jeff etc., and a hang with it to those who are earlier in the fight. The one thing that truly amazes me is just how much easier and simpler life is in general without alcohol.