How to stop drinking

[Billy]

Good Morning everyone,

Nice seeing all the post. Well today is day 24 for me, and have been in a little funk (I guess thats the best way to describe it). I see now where drinking was such a big part of my life, both socially and physically. I need to reinvent myself I think. It's hard to explain, but I feel my whole life is changing. All my "friends" were all drinkers, and I'm not ready yet to hang with them. I use to do the same thing everyday; go to the same bar, see the same people, have the same routine for years. Now I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. I don't know what to do with myself. It sounds weird, and I'm trying really hard on getting a grip on this feeling, but I'm having a hard time.

I have cleaned and rearranged all the rooms in the house, painted some rooms in an apartment that I own, walk every night, working out in AM, but I still feel like I'm missing something in my life. Like I said earlier, I need to reinvent who I am to make this sobriety last; which I know I need to do. That is my biggest priority right now!

The other mind disturbing issue is that next Friday I have a Dr's appointment, and I know if i get a clean bill of health, thats going to be a struggle not to have a couple, because I know what a couple will become. I'll be right back to where I started. UGH! Then my next big hurdle will be a business trip I have to take the beginning of April to Las Vegas. How does someone go to Las Vegas and not party???

Oh well, thanks for letting me rant and get a little keyboard therapy. It felt good getting that off my chest.

Enough about me. I hope everyone is doing well and have a great weekend!!

[nomoredayones]

Good Morning everyone,

Nice seeing all the post. Well today is day 24 for me, and have been in a little funk (I guess thats the best way to describe it). I see now where drinking was such a big part of my life, both socially and physically. I need to reinvent myself I think. It's hard to explain, but I feel my whole life is changing. All my "friends" were all drinkers, and I'm not ready yet to hang with them. I use to do the same thing everyday; go to the same bar, see the same people, have the same routine for years. Now I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. I don't know what to do with myself. It sounds weird, and I'm trying really hard on getting a grip on this feeling, but I'm having a hard time.

I have cleaned and rearranged all the rooms in the house, painted some rooms in an apartment that I own, walk every night, working out in AM, but I still feel like I'm missing something in my life. Like I said earlier, I need to reinvent who I am to make this sobriety last; which I know I need to do. That is my biggest priority right now!

The other mind disturbing issue is that next Friday I have a Dr's appointment, and I know if i get a clean bill of health, thats going to be a struggle not to have a couple, because I know what a couple will become. I'll be right back to where I started. UGH! Then my next big hurdle will be a business trip I have to take the beginning of April to Las Vegas. How does someone go to Las Vegas and not party???

Oh well, thanks for letting me rant and get a little keyboard therapy. It felt good getting that off my chest.

Enough about me. I hope everyone is doing well and have a great weekend!!

Wow Billy, I can so relate to what you wrote. I WISH I had 24 days sober but I am working at it.
I too have been in a funk. The idea of reinventing yourself truly resonates with me. I feel like it is an opportunity but it frightenes the *** out of me! Also, I had a physical and really worried about the results. Everything came back fine and I wanted to drink. Honestly though, I think if I got bad results I still would have wanted to drink. I find it a daily struggle not to drink yet when I do I feel MISERABLE the next day. I don't know why that is not motivation enough to JUST STOP but I still struggle.
Also, even though I got a clean bill of health from my doctor, I feel unwell from the drinking. I have put on weight and do not practice healthy habits in exercise, nutrition, sleep, etc. I need to create a routine of healthy self-care. It does not come naturally to me. And I need to find a purpose and direction in my life. I have a family and a job but I have wasted so many hours drinking - now I need to find something to fill that time.
I think I have rambled enough! Happy Friday everyone. :-)

[AlisonUK]

Hi all. Billy, I know exactly what you mean. It has been mentioned many times to just get out there and do things instead of drinking. Now, I take my dog for a 2.5 mile walk in the mornings, I do a part time job, do crosswords, housework, walk the dog again, cook and all the time drinking is mostly on my mind! It's crazy! It would have been day 76 if I hadn't fallen of the 'bike' a little while back. I could see it coming as the wheels were buckled and the brakes were crap! LOL. I think we all get in a 'funk' (love that). I'm not bored but I am stressed over the lack of funds in my life. I would love a trip to Vegas by the way but the drinking issue would be tough for me I must admit. I was there once and I was on the JD's at 5am! I went back to work yesterday and I sat there thinking 'what the hell has my life become'? Now, as you all know, I love a bit of a larf but today I have a 'tumour in my humour'! It doesn't help that the weather is dire. Anyway............I'm off to buy a senceless birthday present for my daughter's mate who I have never met!!! AAAARRRRGGGHHH!
Toodle pip my darlings

[Ken1]

Happy birthday Sue, I celebrated my own this past Saturday. It was a big wake up call for me this year as I used it to make some big changes in my life that I had been putting off. I spent a good portion of my life as a people pleaser and listening to what all the naysayers were telling me were the limitations on my life. I have been working on getting over that for some time and finally think I am free from all those ridiculous rules I let others impose on me in regards to my career and overall happiness.

It's a hard thing to break away from long time friendships, but sadly some things run their course and if we hold on to them they only serve to limit our lives. Change is hard, as we can all attest to, and old habits die hard. But when I search deep within I knew for years that it was something that had to be done.

It feels selfish at first when I started putting myself first, but it is the only way to find happiness. Sometimes you have to stop and acknowledge your own pain and problems and stop trying to save everyone else for a few minutes to work on resolving our own inner dramas. Someone recently reminded me of the airplane drill. Pre-flight we are instructed to put our own oxygen masks on first in the event of an emergency, wise instructions for life (thanks Beth).

[Midwest Sue]

Hello, happy Friday, and thanks, Ken, for the birthday wishes.
I'm going to make this a great day. I'm off work (and will not check work email!), I slept in, I'm letting the housework worry about itself, and I'm about to go on a bicycle excursion with my oldest son. Wherever the warm breeze takes us.

I'm so happy to report to my new group of friends here that life at 57 is better than ever.

Hang in there, all of you. Let yourself feel the feelings.

Should we all meet Billy in Vegas in April and "larf" together at the ridiculous drunks all around us?

Stay sober today, my friends, as your birthday gift to me!

[JeffR1]

Hi everyone. It’s day “clickity-click 66” for me today and I’m feeling pretty good about sobriety. I look forward to a nice cup of coffee now when I get home at the end of my working day; likewise, my morning coffee is much more enjoyable when I wake up clear-headed. I no longer need to follow that slavish routine that went with buying booze, drinking it, passing out in bed, feeling sick and lousy in the morning and then having to go about disposing of the evidence!

But, I’m still feeling the after-effects of long term excessive drinking, such as the ‘beer belly’ that feels terrible and stops me from riding my motorbike as my riding gear is too uncomfortable to fit into. My sleep pattern is still somewhat disruptive as I’m waking up early even though I don’t need to. Financially, it will take me some time to get back to comfortable place after wasting money on booze. And, I still have unwanted thoughts about drinking.

I do feel though, I’m at a point where I am more able to refuse to let those after-effects undermine my progress. I’m really grateful to this forum and all the members here, as being part of this has helped me in so many ways.

Recent posts suggest some people are at a cross-road and struggling – in a ‘funk’. I’ve been wondering if there was anything I could say to help and the thought that keeps coming up in my mind is ‘self-belief’.

As self-belief is within the mind and the main theme of the Spiritual River forum is ‘holistic recovery’, I think it is very important to focus on the mind as well as the physical aspects of being sober.

It is often suggested that the power of positive thought can help us to achieve our goals. There are lots of positive affirmations, and some that I’ve found helpful when I’m struggling include:

‘What you believe, you can achieve.’
‘I’m okay with being in control.’ (with respect to not letting alcohol be in control)
‘I am responsible for my drinking, and so I can change it.’
‘I trust in the process of life.’
‘Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.’

And simply, ‘I believe in myself.’

My apologies if I sound ‘pontificating’ as that is not my intent. I believe everyone has the right to feel good about themselves and have self-belief, but it is difficult to convey this in words. What follows is something I found on the internet which is along the lines of the power of self-belief. Have a great sober day everyone.

“It could be easily said that nothing is ever accomplished without self belief. Self belief is undoubtedly the driving force behind all creation ever made by man as well as any accomplishment ever desired by anyone. Without money or people, one could still survive if he has the self belief in him. But without self belief, he is but a dying soul.

I could easily relate to this in my interaction to others. The toughest characters are those characters who have extremely concrete self belief. They are the people who really change the things they want in life.

I have noticed this consistently especially during my upbringing as well as in the people in my course. Self belief is the power which disregards the voices of others. It is the power which listens to what is really wanted in our hearts. It is a force from within. It is a force not imposed by the external forces from outside but by this great power within us. It is the only true and natural power.

We have to learn to keep the self belief in us.

It’s tough no doubt, when we are faced with people around us who constantly just try to doubt us. We are brought up in this environment where our parents, teachers, colleagues, friends, acquaintances all preach us doubt and not to trust ourselves and the image we desire. We are not taught to believe in ourselves. We have to learn to let go from these beliefs and influences.

I have learned how important self belief is in the past few years. I have seen people failing their papers in the course I am taking and are willing to stand back up and believe in themselves. I have seen people choosing to disregard what the people around them tell them is impossible to do and they amazingly perform it. I have seen miracles happen in all walks of life with this power called self belief.

It doesn’t matter if you have failed many times.
It doesn’t matter if you are not doing well in your career now.
It doesn’t matter if you are in a romantic relationship which doesn’t inspire.
It doesn’t matter if you are in a social group which doesn’t help you be a better person.
It doesn’t matter if you are in an argument now with a love one.
It doesn’t matter where you are in life.

You have to hold on to the self belief in yourself.

You have to tell yourself that you can heal.
You have to tell yourself that you can change any situation that you want.
You have to tell yourself that you are powerful enough to change any situation.
You have to tell yourself that you can overcome any difficulties.
You have to tell yourself that you can always be more than you thought you are.
The time is now. You can choose to believe or not to believe in yourself. The choice is yours.
You can only do something NOW. Do it.”
http://victorlifelist.com/2010/04/15...f-self-belief/

[ToddE]

Kimber, Good luck on having a long string of good days. I like how you put that "sick and tired of being ..." I can definitely relate to that.

Day 5 for me. Feels good so far, physical withdrawal aside, of course. It's just nice having a clean head again.

[JacquieC]

Hi All. How are the 1sts going? yesterday went out for "High Tea" now that was something different. Even had the Royal Doulton China tea cup to boot. Turned down the sparkling wine (partner got 2) not sure if he loves being the family "soak" but waste not want not... At least I'm not drinking it, is all I think. Tonight off to a Fringe Show - last one for the season as the festival finishes this weekend. But the countdown is on to Bali. Only 2 more mornings to wake up and drag myself off to work before we head off. Can't wait. They make the best yummiest coconut milkshakes. I am seriously hanging out for one of those just like I used to hang out for Happy Hour on a Friday night!!! Bring them on I say.....

Be good guys, get through the weekend sober.

Cheers
Jacquie xx

[Marie1971]

Jeff, I think you should go and buy some bigger motorbike pants. Expensive, yes, but think of all the alcohol money you've saved. Seems a shame to miss out on the joy of the ride, when it might take months to get your waist down.

This is coming from someone who loves the feeling of freedom a bike provides - ever been around Tasmania on the bike? Heaps of fun. Get back out there! It's like meditation!

[JeffR1]

Hi Marie. Thanks for that - riding sure is meditation. Maybe I'll have to see if I can stretch (pun intended) the budget for some 'interim' riding pants! I haven't been around Tassie on a motorbike, but I have in a car. It's a lovely place. I trust you are doing well and enjoying this amazing day. Take care. Best wishes. Jeff

[fiona]

Hi All,

I added a thread to the water cooler called The Library so there is a central location to list all of the books you have found helpful.

[nomoredayones]

Good morning (evening) all.
Yesterday (Saturday) went well for me. I planned the day out ahead. I took a 2 and a half hour fitness walk with a dear friend in the morning. I n the afternoon I got a lot of chores done and watched a wonderful movie. In the evening my husband took me out to dinner. I had to ruin the whole day and all my efforts by drinking wine last night. My husband is a problem drinker who is not ready to address his drinking but I have been at this for so long.....
I think I almost punish myself by drinking. I know I am going to feel awful the next day yet I do it anyway. I don't know why I sabotage myself like this.
I am meeting the same friend for an extended walk this morning (I had "planned" the whole weekend out ahead of time so that I WOULDN'T drink!). I feel so disappointed in myself. I can go along for a period of time doing well and feeling better then I sabotage the whole thing.
Thanks for "listening."

[Midwest Sue]

Morgan,
You sound different this time. I hear you giving yourself credit for what you did right and examining your reasons for drinking instead of just calling yourself a failure.
That's why I know you can get back on your bike and keep going! You have made progress and you have a clear vision of a sober life.

This has to be incredibly difficult while living with an active problem drinker.
Are you keeping a journal? Writing down your positive plans and also the triggers?

Above all, give yourself loads of credit today for the progress you made.

Have a peaceful day, all of you. Yesterday is in the past.

I'm not out of the woods yet myself, but I will focus on happy thoughts and right actions today!

Sue

[ToddE]

Kimber, Sounds like your weekend is off to a good start. Hope it keeps up that way.

Morgan, Sorry to hear about your set back. Try not to get down on yourself about it though. At least for me it never helps anyway. Better to concentrate on not drinking today, then dwell too much on yesterday.

Yesterday for me was Karate in the morning for the kids, baked some bread in the afternoon and Disney on ice in the evening. Today I'm testing some sourdough cheese rolls, baseball for the kids at 1 and one of their cousin's birthday party in the evening. There will be alcohol, but it's not a heavy drinking crowd.

There was some discussion a few days back on making excusses for not drinking,but I was only reading along then. I'm too the point where I just say I'm trying to stop drinking, if anyone asks. Non-alcoholics usually don't care or don't even ask. I may add "for a while" or mention that I'm diabetic, if I'm talking with a heavy drinker and making them uncomfortable. I try to keep it simply to "I'm trying to stop", because that is the truth.

During the holidays last year when I was drinking, there were plenty of people that knew I had been trying to stop. The few that said anything I told them I planned to get right back off in January. I did stop for a couple weeks, in January, so maybe it helped? I really don't care how they come I will take all the good days I can get. If end up having a drinking one or string of them even, I will do whatever it takes to get back to good days.

I hope this is it and I never drink again. That is the plan. There is no room for drinking in my life anymore. I have no intention of ever drinking again.

Anyway, need to check on my rolls now. Good luck and good rest of the weekend to everyone.

Todd

[nomoredayones]

Thank you Todd and Sue.
I have gotten right back on the bike today. I met the same friend today as yesterday and we took a 2 hour fitness walk together. I am eating healthier (something I put in my "recovery" plan) and I spent some nice leisure time with my husband and children today. I have some work to finish for my job today and I plan on taking a nice bath followed by an early bedtime.
I do feel different this time. I feel committed.
I bought stickers for my calendar. Some one on here had written about doing that. Every day sober gets a sticker on the calendar. Kind of a visual reminder.
I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying a happy and sober weekend.

[makettle]

Good on you Morgan. You seem to have a more positive vibe in your posts - yay Morgan! Exercise certainly is a good outlet - especially when you have a friend to go with that you can have a good old rant with!

I am still struggling - seem to have cut down and found the off switch instead of going until I black out which is good - every day is a new day. Something I think of a lot now instead of beating myself up about "the night before" is that you are a long time dead - reminding myself not to waste time living in the past and to enjoy and accept each day as it comes. Of course I would like to do that sober but I am working on it.

Hey Jeff - I agree with Maree, you deserve to be able to go for a ride - get those new pants!!

Keep smiling everyone.

[JacquieC]

Hi Everyone, so did anyone try anything new over the weekend? We went and had "High Tea". Lots of little petit fours and scones etc with wonderfully brewed coffee. Has anyone ever noticed now that we are sober that how good coffee tastes? Or tea. I love my "White Tea" apparently its purer than Green tea Tastes just as good and still makes you run to the toilet - all those wonderful anti-oxidants doing there job.

Good to see Morgan that you sound more positive, keep it up.

Hang in there guys. Day 72 for me.

Jacquie xx

[JeffR1]

Hi Marie and Makettle. I took Marie's suggestion and bought a pair of motorcycle pants yesterday! I had a great ride after after tea last night - it was excellent to get out on my bike for a while. A good investment I think. Take care. Best wishes. Jeff

[Midwest Sue]

Jeff - glad you got out on the bike!
Jacquie- I did a couple of new things. Biked a route I had feared due to hills and in the process discovered a hidden path around a lake. Tonight I had dinner at Buca di Beppo for the first time.

Sue

[James G]

As I close in on 4 months (this coming Saturday) without indulging in alcohol I wish all of you the best in all of your own personal journeys. A couple of post I read said the truth that we all need to acknowledge. That is...it's up to each one individually to beat your own addiction, and you must do this on your own. There are plenty of resources out there, including this forum to help you get going, but in the end, it's all about you having an unstoppable personal desire (stubbornness) to achieve sobriety.

Good news is there is literally thousands, possibly millions of successes stories out there. For me it's all about bettering myself. It can't just stop just with sobriety. I need to continually keep looking at ways to live a better life. Quitting alcohol is not the end-all...you can't think that just by abstaining from alcohol your life will magically become better. It's a huge must start, but if we stop there we will be missing out on our chance for long term success.

I like the challenge Jacquie suggested on trying something new. That's the spirit of what is all about....experiencing life to fullest.

Have a GREAT Day without "IT" All!