Thank you for that link James!
I woke up sober this morning and feeling much better emotionally than yesterday. I think early sobriety is a bumpy, emotional ride. I am just hanging on and staying away from the bottle. Thanks to all of you!
Thank you for that link James!
I woke up sober this morning and feeling much better emotionally than yesterday. I think early sobriety is a bumpy, emotional ride. I am just hanging on and staying away from the bottle. Thanks to all of you!
Morgan
“If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it.” ~ William Arthur Ward
Looks like a pretty slow Monday morning here. I'm on day 58 and it's really hard to believe. I definitly need to add something,. more action of some sort to this to avoid stagnation, apathy, and a relapse. The strict view of one-day-at-a-time has worked to this point,...but any time I stop and think of it as truly permanent, it still feels overwhelming.
Day 26 - had a great weekend, after a rocky start (just feeling jittery and vulnerable to drinking). Now, I just need to keep the momentum going - today is a really busy day, lots of teaching, a load of grading and 'obligations' (talks) with after-party academic style which is drink bad wine and eat mediocre cheese. I think that I will escape early in order to avoid any scintilla of weakness.
Morgan, I couldn't quit thinking about your posts yesterday, starting with the one telling us how down you felt and even a bit hopeless, followed up by someone sending you that private message. Sometimes I need to consider something for a day before I really know how I feel about something as the initial response is always an emotional one, but as the emotion subsides I can consider things more clearly and logically.
I came to the conclusion that your post was brave and honest and really what this forum needs more of. I try to be upbeat all the time, as I believe it really does help, but sometimes it is through gritted teeth and not 100% honest. Sometimes I'm down and depressed and feel like crap! I'm personally trying to find new, meaningful work in my life after having to close my business last year, which is what led to me falling off the wagon. I worked very hard those 12 years and loved it, but now can't seem to find my direction. I'm not posting this looking for any sympathy, just to let you know you are not alone in feeling some pain from time to time, and I appreciate what you are going through.
Thanks for having the guts to be honest, you inspired me to take a long hard look at myself and to be 100% honest about what I am feeling and deal with it. If I fall down while on my path, so what as long as I stay in the fight!
Jeff, your father and mine had a lot in common, thanks for sharing your story. I had considered posting my own family history with alcohol, but forgot. Perhaps I will follow your lead sometime in the future.
Good morning to everyone else, there are so many good posts over the last few days, but that is normal for this thread. Be well all.
Kevin, I really empathize with you regarding thinking of sobriety as a permanent lifestyle. I agree massive action is needed in the early days of sobriety to be successful. Though I am starting to think that "action" has to be replaced by "mindset" as we continue. Looking forward at our future as a teetotaler can be a scary task if we think like our old selves. Though, how ever glamorous our minds paint drinking, I think of it as a "bait and switch". Monday mornings are a weekly reminder that no matter how much fun I had over the weekend drinking, it was never worth it. Why would I want that lifestyle again---the guilt, pain, lack of self respect, anxiety, depression? You've done a great job thus far on 58 days! Have you written down how your life is today compared to where it was 60 days ago?
Bryan
Hi everyone. I’m awake early this morning as I am working in the city today. I like to get up a bit earlier than I need so I can enjoy a quiet start to the day, especially now days that I am waking up clear-headed. I also like to check in here to start my day and see how everyone is going, and, it helps to keep me clearly focussed on being sober today.
Thank you everyone for the positive comments regarding my post yesterday about my dad. I just felt the need to post a brief outline of his experience as a way of letting people know that there is hope and things can get better. And, I am very proud of my dad and his struggle does help to inspire me to keep moving in the sober direction.
Kevin2: Day 58 is really great – congratulations. I too have thoughts about stagnation etc, and then I remind myself of Patrick’s articles about how long it might take to get used to living clean and sober before moving into long term recovery. I find this helps me to take the pressure off myself when I’m thinking I should be doing more. Hang in there.
Morgan: That’s great you are feeling much better today. You sure are right about early sobriety being a bumpy emotional ride, but it does get better. Especially on those bumpy days, it is important to know that you have the power within you to make things happen in your life. Hang in there and keep reading and keep posting. I am lucky to be able to check in here on my mobile telephone and I do so a number of times every day and it helps to keep me in the here and now. Enjoy a great sober day.
Kimber: I’m sorry to hear things are tough for you at the moment. It’s good you are posting and intent on moving forward. I trust that things will work out for you. Best wishes for today.
Kip: I trust you also have a good week. I too liked Bryan’s analogy of trying to drive forward whilst looking in the rear view mirrors – it just can’t work. ‘Massive change’ really is an eye-opener; it can feel quite insurmountable at first - and for a while afterwards! Good on you for getting back to face the fight. It sounds like you have many positive aspects to your life on track. I remember a strategy that suggests if we draw a square on a piece of paper and that square represents our life. I the square we write down the one thing that seems to occupy most of our time, thought and energy. If that one thing is then taken or removed from our life, what are we left with? Nothing! The strategy is to then divide the square up into, say, nine smaller squares and write down in each square one aspect of our life that has meaning to us. That way, if one aspect is taken or removed from our life, whilst it might hurt, we still have lots of other aspects to life that have meaning and that helps us to move forward. It is a really good way of helping one to see we do have much in our lives that has meaning and this in turn gives hope. Best wishes.
Well, I’m going to be late to work if I don’t move now, so best wishes to everyone. Thank you all for your help, care and understanding. I trust you all have a great sober day.
Thanks Bryan!,..and no I haven't. That is a great idea actually. I have really found myself,..just in the last week starting to let myself wonder.."why am I even doing this in the first place?" No doubt it was the best decision and life is MUCH better,...it's just so easy to start "romanticizing" the drinking,..and forgetting the dark side of it as time passes.Originally Posted by Bryan
HELLO HELLO HELLO!!!!! I'm back!!!! My daughter's have been off school with the half term holiday and there was more chance of me and George Clooney having some duvet gymnastics than claiming a computer !!!LOL!
51 days (-0.1%). Now, Ken1 made a fantastic analogy a good few posts back about riding through the USA on a bike. On Friday I picked up my husband's drink instead of my own. I have been hit down with a real crappy cold and can't smell or taste. I only noticed I'd picked up the wrong drink when my legs went to lead and an increased heart rate! Am I going back to L.A. on my bike? No way Jose! I'm heading out to Utah with the wind rushing through my hair. One day I'll get to NYC so one state at a time LOL! I must admit that the feeling was nice but so is that thought with George! The day one statement is a no go for me. If I thought my slip up would cost me all this effort then I would be sitting here getting bladdered. Jeff, the story about your dad was so emotional. Morgan, keep it up darling. And everyone else your all super. Sylvane......I'm ready to carry on with my good old English cringing wit! Now the kids have gone back to school! YEHA!
Welcome back, Alison!! We missed you. Duvet gymnastics with George - I love it!!
Kevin, I think the problem is that people like us always have "beer goggles" for drinking. Our views are, let's say a little distorted. I keep a list of how my life was the days before I stopped drinking in my desk and view it every now and then, especially when things get a little discouraging. It sure helps me remember why I started this journey in a heartbeat.
Best of luck,
Bryan
Thank you Ken. Your post means a great deal to me. Ironically, I woke up this morning feeling much better. I was sober throughout these last few days but my emotions have been a roller coaster. I have felt so fatigued (luckily, it was a 3 day weekend so I had an extra day off of work so LOTS of napping. LOL) I am thinking about what I need to do to really make this attempt at sobriety "stick". I work full-time, have young children but I need to do something MORE to make positive change in my life.
I woke up at 4am this morning (I had fallen asleep so early last night) so in the dark and quiet of the early morning, I watched "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button." There was something about the movie that really touched me. I did some grocery shopping then took a 3 hour nap! Wow! I plan to walk to work tomorrow. It is some exercise but I need more. I am taking supplements and trying to eat better (I could stand to lose this "wine weight".) Anyway, I am rambling....
I am so thankful for all of you. I wish you all a sober and peaceful evening.
Morgan
“If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it.” ~ William Arthur Ward
Hi all, Day 2 and doing ok, except for the worst night's sleep I've ever had... very anxious overnight, managed to drop off to sleep, only to wake with a start every time... probably slept a total of an hour. I had quit smoking at the same time, and have the double-whammy going on, but wanted to do them both together.
I've just had a couple of cigarettes. Feel lousy about that, but determined to still quit. Don't miss the alcohol yet, but did realise that alcohol is the reason i fall asleep so easily, so missing that. Did anyone else have trouble sleeping? What did you do (and I don't want medication that I will then get dependent on)? I'm tired! I know it will get better, but today is hard.
Wow Marie I have been where you are! I had some very serious DTs and knew if I had just one drink the headache would go away. But the nonsense in that was that I wouldn't just have one. And sleep was really hard I would dream about alcohol all night long. I'm not going to lie it was painful. I still felt hungover in the morning. I want to tell you it does get better but it sounds so stupid knowing the pain you are in. Make sure you are hydrated. Lots of water please!
Keep reading Patricks articles or anything that takes your mind of the pain. Reading also helps me fall asleep
Yes alcohol helps you "pass" out but after a few days, in my case almost two weeks you will feel better. Just hang in there!
You need this! Remember Massive Action! For me massive action was just surviving my first week! Be gentle on yourself and remember why alcohol has no place in your life.
Hello All, Day 45 for me today. This week is soo much better than last week and more so as I am still sober. We went out for dinner with friends on the weekend who are wine enthusiasts (to say the least) Bob works in a winery and has so many yummy reds worthy of lots of money that he likes to share. The problem being is that my Partner (gotta love him) wouldn't know a good red from a bad red so it was completely wasted on him. As I didn't try any of the wine I asked him to describe the sensation of drinking such a wonderful wine (as I knew it would be!!), the only comment he could come up with was "its smooth!" I laughed at him when thats all he could say. I checked with Bob who then went on to explain the subtle raspberry flavours etc etc..... I will admit - this is something I miss. Enjoying good wine with good friends. My soda lime and bitters honestly didn't cut the mustard with my steak
However, waking up feeling crap, guilty and remorseful isn't something I miss.
Stay strong guys, and if you fall over, pick yourself off and dust yourself down and just start again. No one will judge you, we are all here for each other.
Hi Marie1971,
Before I used alcohol to ‘pass out’ at night in bed I occasionally used a couple of relaxation techniques to help fall off to sleep. I have started them back up again since being sober and I find them to be really helpful.
The main things I use are the progressive muscle relaxation technique, deep breathing technique and relaxing music. Some of the muscle relaxation techniques suggest up to a 30 minute routine, but I find I only need do several minutes when going to sleep, and depending on how I feel then, I’ll do some deep breathing. At the moment, I play a relaxation track which came pre-loaded onto the clock-radio that I’ve had for some time (a CD would be just as good).
I did a quick search on the internet and found a really good website published by the University of Maryland Medical Centre. Not only does it have written guidance on all of these techniques, there is also information on the toe tensing technique and guided visualisation, and, a FREE ‘Falling Asleep’ CD to download.
The CD has relaxation music and recorded instructions to listen to while you do the techniques, as well as relaxation music tracks. I have included the links below. I trust you get a better sleep tonight. Best wishes.
Relaxation techniques to sleep
http://www.umm.edu/sleep/relax_tech.htm
Falling asleep CD
http://www.umm.edu/sleep/falling_asleep.htm
Hi all,
Still here reading and getting inspiration from you all. Thanks to Bryan for the idea of writing down what life was like before I stopped drinking, it was a real eye opener to sit down and write that out.
Morgan and Marie, well done to both, sleep can be such an issue at first but it does get better and once it does life gets a lot clearer.
Greetings from Ireland and I hope everyone has a good and successful day,
Locus
Just a quick - hi y'all. day 27 (somehow I think my counting is off - but that's okay, as long as I count and hold myself accountable and don't drink).
Have a good Tuesday!!! Glad to see Locus and Allison . . .
midwest sue .. thanks for your words of wisdom a few days back. So many great people who care about others on this site.
All seems a little quiet here. Hope all's well with everyone.
I've reached a small milestone- 10 days!! (actually a big one for me). I'm lucky that I've been sleeping like a baby... I can't get enough at the moment. We're moving house over the weekend so hopefully I can keep my stress levels to a minimum.
Great news on 10 days, Rosella! Hurray for you. Glad you are sleeping well. Take your move a moment at a time and enjoy the changes.
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