PDA

View Full Version : Feeling Lost and Hopeless for my Husband



ReneeandHopeless
05-31-2011, 12:59 PM
Hi Everyone,

I'm new to the site but not new to the crippling effects of living with an alcoholic. My husband is a functional alcoholic. He can drink and drink and drink but appear to be fine when he's not. He remembers everything the next day and always makes it into work. He never regrets the day before. He is a binge drinker by drinking primarily 12-15 beers on the weekends each night (Friday and Saturday). His choice of alcohol is beer. He has been doing this for over 6 years since he had major reconstructive knee surgery.

He truly believes he does not have a problem. He has only been violent once with me and a few times with our oldest daughter. He has been told if he ever touches either one of us in that manner ever again, I will leave and I will stick to that. He hasn't touched me in 4 years or my daughter since last year. I'm terrified though and walk on eggshells every weekend. By Thursday, my nerves are fried since I know what's going to happen right around the corner. I work at home but have a demanding job working online Monday thru Friday. Weekends for me is also a nice time to relax, but I don't. I don't have many friends and really don't get out much.

He has a boat. I call it his boat as I want nothing to do with it. It's where the majority of the drinking takes place and mainly with his drinking buddy. He takes the girls (we have two) out for swimming a lot. He takes them up north and out to places. He is a wonderful person, great provider, good father, and amazing husband...when he's sober. He's more of a "happy" drunk, but he can get set off if he's gone over the limit of 15 beers in one sitting. That's when you watch what you say, do, or even look like. I've tried everything from talking to him when he's sober, having intervention from family members, detaching myself totally from him, attempting suicide (yes, this was stupid and will not go there again), yelling, just about everything. He truly believes he doesn't have a problem.

He has been recently diagnosed with severe arthritis in his shoulder. It's physically distorted. I've tried explaining how detrimental beer has on his body, but he always changes the subject or ignores me. Anything that happens to him physically (sore, nausea, headaches, etc.) has an excuse but not the beer. I feel like I'm married to two people...a man and a beer can. I wanted to leave, but started reading the bible as a last ditch effort to keep this marriage of 20 years alive. I prayer continuously every day and study the bible. I am also suffering from severe arthritis and stomach ulcers. I've been literally sick for 2 years now.

I feel like he doesn't care anymore. I don't know what else to do. My heart wants a conviction. He was a drinker when we met at a young 18 years of age. He was put in jail twice in one week because of a DUI. Back then, the law wasn't has harsh as it is now. He chose me over the beer then, but that has changed. I so badly want him thrown in jail to wake him up again as every other avenue seems to have failed or blows up in my face. He likes to manipulate to make himself believe everyone else is to blame but himself. I'm frustrated, angry, hurt, and spent.

I guess I'm just asking for advice and prayer for him. Power of prayer in numbers is another last hope of mine. Thank you for taking the time to read my vent.

Linda
05-31-2011, 02:39 PM
Hi Renee, I too am married to a functioning drug addict. All I can say is pain is their greatest gift. It seems he hasn't hit bottom and is in a deep state of denial. My husband was there for seven of the 19 years we have been married. I asked him to leave and he says he's in recovery but has been picking up since I asked him to leave four months ago. He's been clean and sober for four days. Hey, it's a start I guess. My saving grace has been turning the situation over to God and learning to take care of me and my kids. He was over yesterday and threatened to beat up my 14 year old son because he spoke very disrespectful to him. If he lays a finger on him, I will call the police and I told him that. He didn't care and said he would do what he wanted. He gets very nasty when he sober for a few days. Families Anonymous has been a tremendous support. I'll say a prayer for you and your husband. I hope he sees what his disease is doing to him and the people who love him.

God Bless,
Linda

FriendlyFire
06-03-2011, 09:20 PM
I don't have any advice or anything but I just want to thank you both for sharing. Renee you could be describing my life. It helps to see that I'm not the only one.

ReneeandHopeless
06-06-2011, 05:54 AM
It happened again. He drank Saturday and Sunday. He filled his beer poisoned mind to my oldest daughter reveling in how I'm so unimportant. He told her that he doesn't hurt anyone when he drinks and she told him he did. I was so fearful he would do something to her and he did. He smacked her in front of everyone out on the lake. No one said anything. He told her hateful things. I know this was the beer talking. I know he is sick. I know that I must fight with everything ounce of my being. But I'm tired. He is one of the most stubborn men I know and he purposely does this to rile me. I has said this. He likes to get a rise out of people especially if they tell him something he shouldn't do, especially when he's drinking. I don't rile him, others do. I've had a long talk with my daughter. She is 14 and is understanding that he is sick, but it still hurts. My youngest sees it too. She's 11 but quiet. She is too afraid to say anything, but my oldest is a rebel. I just pray for their protection, our protection. I'm losing hope. Please continue to pray for him and us.

mandy
06-07-2011, 10:39 AM
Renee - I'm saying my prayers for you and your family. I agree with Sam - and I can add that I think the Lord leaves these things to us. It's up to you to protect yourself and the girls. Easier said than done I know... I hope that you find all the strength in the world. You and your daughters deserve so much more. Best to you.

dawnmyst
06-08-2011, 08:47 PM
This is to all who have responded to Renee and of course Renee. The best thing you can do for you and your family right now is work on your own recovery. We have no control over the addict. Al Anon and Alateen can be a God send for all those who suffer with the stress of living and/ or dealing with an alcoholic. Try to find a meeting as soon as you can. You will be glad you did. Go to at least 6 meetings before you decide Al Anon is right or wrong for you. Try different meetings and you may find peace and hope there. I started going a little over a month ago and I have found a sponsor who I speak to every day. She is so knowledgeable about the disease and is helping me immensely. My Bf of 5 yrs. is an alcoholic. I have found a lot of compassion and support. The message boards are helpful too but actually meeting people face to face and realizing you are not alone can help you immensely.
Alateen is for young people who have alcoholic family members.
God Bless you and be well

Han
06-25-2011, 01:58 PM
does he only drink on weekends? thank you for sharing, half the problem fthat we have in accepting his problem is that he doesn't drink everyday. so thank you x