ReneeandHopeless
05-31-2011, 12:59 PM
Hi Everyone,
I'm new to the site but not new to the crippling effects of living with an alcoholic. My husband is a functional alcoholic. He can drink and drink and drink but appear to be fine when he's not. He remembers everything the next day and always makes it into work. He never regrets the day before. He is a binge drinker by drinking primarily 12-15 beers on the weekends each night (Friday and Saturday). His choice of alcohol is beer. He has been doing this for over 6 years since he had major reconstructive knee surgery.
He truly believes he does not have a problem. He has only been violent once with me and a few times with our oldest daughter. He has been told if he ever touches either one of us in that manner ever again, I will leave and I will stick to that. He hasn't touched me in 4 years or my daughter since last year. I'm terrified though and walk on eggshells every weekend. By Thursday, my nerves are fried since I know what's going to happen right around the corner. I work at home but have a demanding job working online Monday thru Friday. Weekends for me is also a nice time to relax, but I don't. I don't have many friends and really don't get out much.
He has a boat. I call it his boat as I want nothing to do with it. It's where the majority of the drinking takes place and mainly with his drinking buddy. He takes the girls (we have two) out for swimming a lot. He takes them up north and out to places. He is a wonderful person, great provider, good father, and amazing husband...when he's sober. He's more of a "happy" drunk, but he can get set off if he's gone over the limit of 15 beers in one sitting. That's when you watch what you say, do, or even look like. I've tried everything from talking to him when he's sober, having intervention from family members, detaching myself totally from him, attempting suicide (yes, this was stupid and will not go there again), yelling, just about everything. He truly believes he doesn't have a problem.
He has been recently diagnosed with severe arthritis in his shoulder. It's physically distorted. I've tried explaining how detrimental beer has on his body, but he always changes the subject or ignores me. Anything that happens to him physically (sore, nausea, headaches, etc.) has an excuse but not the beer. I feel like I'm married to two people...a man and a beer can. I wanted to leave, but started reading the bible as a last ditch effort to keep this marriage of 20 years alive. I prayer continuously every day and study the bible. I am also suffering from severe arthritis and stomach ulcers. I've been literally sick for 2 years now.
I feel like he doesn't care anymore. I don't know what else to do. My heart wants a conviction. He was a drinker when we met at a young 18 years of age. He was put in jail twice in one week because of a DUI. Back then, the law wasn't has harsh as it is now. He chose me over the beer then, but that has changed. I so badly want him thrown in jail to wake him up again as every other avenue seems to have failed or blows up in my face. He likes to manipulate to make himself believe everyone else is to blame but himself. I'm frustrated, angry, hurt, and spent.
I guess I'm just asking for advice and prayer for him. Power of prayer in numbers is another last hope of mine. Thank you for taking the time to read my vent.
I'm new to the site but not new to the crippling effects of living with an alcoholic. My husband is a functional alcoholic. He can drink and drink and drink but appear to be fine when he's not. He remembers everything the next day and always makes it into work. He never regrets the day before. He is a binge drinker by drinking primarily 12-15 beers on the weekends each night (Friday and Saturday). His choice of alcohol is beer. He has been doing this for over 6 years since he had major reconstructive knee surgery.
He truly believes he does not have a problem. He has only been violent once with me and a few times with our oldest daughter. He has been told if he ever touches either one of us in that manner ever again, I will leave and I will stick to that. He hasn't touched me in 4 years or my daughter since last year. I'm terrified though and walk on eggshells every weekend. By Thursday, my nerves are fried since I know what's going to happen right around the corner. I work at home but have a demanding job working online Monday thru Friday. Weekends for me is also a nice time to relax, but I don't. I don't have many friends and really don't get out much.
He has a boat. I call it his boat as I want nothing to do with it. It's where the majority of the drinking takes place and mainly with his drinking buddy. He takes the girls (we have two) out for swimming a lot. He takes them up north and out to places. He is a wonderful person, great provider, good father, and amazing husband...when he's sober. He's more of a "happy" drunk, but he can get set off if he's gone over the limit of 15 beers in one sitting. That's when you watch what you say, do, or even look like. I've tried everything from talking to him when he's sober, having intervention from family members, detaching myself totally from him, attempting suicide (yes, this was stupid and will not go there again), yelling, just about everything. He truly believes he doesn't have a problem.
He has been recently diagnosed with severe arthritis in his shoulder. It's physically distorted. I've tried explaining how detrimental beer has on his body, but he always changes the subject or ignores me. Anything that happens to him physically (sore, nausea, headaches, etc.) has an excuse but not the beer. I feel like I'm married to two people...a man and a beer can. I wanted to leave, but started reading the bible as a last ditch effort to keep this marriage of 20 years alive. I prayer continuously every day and study the bible. I am also suffering from severe arthritis and stomach ulcers. I've been literally sick for 2 years now.
I feel like he doesn't care anymore. I don't know what else to do. My heart wants a conviction. He was a drinker when we met at a young 18 years of age. He was put in jail twice in one week because of a DUI. Back then, the law wasn't has harsh as it is now. He chose me over the beer then, but that has changed. I so badly want him thrown in jail to wake him up again as every other avenue seems to have failed or blows up in my face. He likes to manipulate to make himself believe everyone else is to blame but himself. I'm frustrated, angry, hurt, and spent.
I guess I'm just asking for advice and prayer for him. Power of prayer in numbers is another last hope of mine. Thank you for taking the time to read my vent.