day one

[eddie'sgirl]

I'm scared, I feel like I just lost my very best friend. Who will I turn to now, when I can't sleep, when I want to be happy, when I'm angry. It's like a death to me. Went to my firt AA meeting today, and going to another one tomorrow. I am trying to take this one day at a time, one minute at a time. I feel angry and sad and empty and alone. I don't know if I'm going to be able to do this but I'm gonna try really hard. I don't know who I am or who I will become through all this. I have so much work to do and right now it all just seems so hopeless. I could not have PICKED a WORST weekend to stop drinking either what with it being a party weekend but I guess you don't really pick a time to stop drinking, it just happens. One day you just hit rock bottom and I had no idea how close it was when I woke up yesterday. This was NOT in my plans at all......God help me. I just want to be happy someday. I want to feel real. I've wasted so much time....

[Beth]

eddie'sgirl, I truly feel your pain. Are you ok physically? The detox I went through was so scary. I wanted it all to be over. As everyone says, be gentle on yourself. Day one is over. God can help and know you are going to get through this.
There's is a life after alcohol and you are on your way.... Meetings help and so will knowing you have us to count on.
Stay as strong as you can.

[Midwest Sue]

eddie'sgirl,
You took a big step by posting and you are in the right place. All of us have felt the hopelessness, fear and emptiness you describe. You can make it through this. Eat, drink lots of water, sleep, read, go for walks, be kind to yourself!

[ToddE]

Hey Eddie's G,

First couple days are usually the worst of it physically, and emotional swings can go on for a while as your body adjusts. When you settle in to being sober a while, you may want to think through what you really were getting out of alcohol. For me anyway when I final quit, it had been a long, long time, since I actually had enjoyed it. I thought I missed it, couldn't imagine not drinking really, more because it was all I knew and was scared to change. Once I got sober for a while and could look back this was easier to see, of course.

Good luck to you. I am sure you'll do just fine, just give it time. Practice, patients and persistence, will work miracles.

-Todd

[Ken1]

eddie's girl, your post made one of mt favorite articles from the main site pop into my head. I'll post the first section of the article and a link to it below. Please spend some time reading through Patrick's articles and through the forums for a wealth of information on getting sober and staying that way. Good luck and here is the article:

How to Get Sober When You Really Do Not Want to Stop Drinking

Is it possible to get sober when you really do not want to stop drinking (http://www.spiritualriver.com/stop-drinking/) at all?
Yes and no.
Is it really possible to develop willingness out of thin air? How can you motivate yourself to change?
There are at least 3 pieces to this. Realize that:
1) Nobody totally wants to quit.
2) Those who do quit make the decision anyway.
3) Those who succeed take action following the decision.
Details:
First, realize that nobody wants to stop drinking 100%

We have all heard it said million times before, things such as “Sobriety is for people who want it, not for people who need it.”
And anyone who has been to addiction treatment (http://www.spiritualriver.com/acupuncture-addiction/) or an AA meeting has been told that the most important thing is that they have to want to get sober if this is going to work for them.
The thing is, nobody really wants to stop drinking, even when they have come to a crushing point of surrender.
Nobody truly wants to give up their best friend, their faithful companion, their trusted mood-altering magic potion that was always there for them. Deep down, there is a part of every alcoholic that still wants to drink, that finds it hard to let go, that still wants to try it one more time.
But they get sober anyway. The balance shifts far enough and they decide that they really do want sobriety, even though there is a tiny (but powerful) part of their brain that is still screaming at them that it wants to drink.

Please read the rest of this great article here:
http://www.spiritualriver.com/how-to-get-sober-when-you-really-do-not-want-to-stop-drinking/