First day not drinking

[Donell]

Well, I woke up this morning hung over again, this is the first day in months that I have promised myself I would not drink, I drink more than a 18pk of coors lite a day and I am simply miserable. I have gained so much weight I don't recognize my self anymore. I guess the reason I'm posting this is because I feel alone and I need to get so much off my chest but, this is the first time I have ever done something like this, I guess it's better then sitting in an AA meeting.

[Regina]

Well, I woke up this morning hung over again, this is the first day in months that I have promised myself I would not drink, I drink more than a 18pk of coors lite a day and I am simply miserable. I have gained so much weight I don't recognize my self anymore. I guess the reason I'm posting this is because I feel alone and I need to get so much off my chest but, this is the first time I have ever done something like this, I guess it's better then sitting in an AA meeting.

Welcome Donell. You can do this! :-) You are brave to post and you realize you have a problem. You are ahead of the game!!
AA ain't so bad either. It saved my a**. I figure it is a war - me against booze. I will use anything I have to fight it; this site, reading, friends, AA meetings - everything and anything it takes. Hang in there and don't give up giving up.

[Noel]

Hi Donell,
I am new to this too. I think the first post is the hardest part....you should read my first post...I did a disertation and let it fly. Everyone here feels your anxiety, guilt....what ever emotion you want to assign when you wake up hungover. Good for you to put your foot down to alcohol. Post often and feel the positive energy from all of us. Good luck!! I am glad you are on board. Just know that if you stay sober until you are 100 years old or you slip, post and you will be lifted up. I am so blessed to have found this site.

[Donell]

Thanks guys!! Well it is 9:10 PST and I have not gone to the storeto buy a 12pk... its funny how you really don't need a reason to drink you just want to, but I'm NOT!!! I have to be honest I thought about it after my ex-husband called and he was asking his new girlfriend for money to buy my daughter jeans, I can't beleive him, hes such a dog-but, that truly made me want to just say WHAT FOR! and go down and buy a 12pk but I'm still hanging in there. I am actually looking forward to waking up without a hangover for the first time in a year n'a half:) I remember loving the mornings, but the problem I have right now is how am I going to get to sleep, normally I pass out-any suggestions?

[Donell]

Thanks Eric, I was up all night, I think I might have dosed off for about 15min, but basicly it was worth waking up feeling better than
I have in a long time. I watched the sun come up, it was nice. Today is going to be really hard for me...I an tell already. But I am up for the challenge. Yesterday I went walking I was only able to go around the school field 4 times, it was eye opening at how out of shape I am...oh well I keep telling myself I can not overwhelm myself with things I have to change. I will check out the Melatonin thing I'll see how that goes. I guess today being unemployed and spending all my day lately drinking, I have to focus on keeping busy. I don't remember where I heard this but maybe you know, is it true that it takes 3 days for the alchool to leave my system,cause I feel really moody...I think its because my liver might be working for the first time in a long time. Oh well, I keep praying and asking god to give me strength to do this...

[Noel]

Donell,
It may take several nights to get over the insomnia caused by abstaining from alcohol. By day 5 or 6, I was sleeping much better.

I love candles and have them all over the house. After my kids go to bed, I dim the foyer chandelier, turn out most of the lights in the house, and light all my candles. The soft, dim light is like a signal to body that the day is done and it is time to relax.

Melatonin and Valerian Root are two herbal remedies to induce sleep. I have NEVER been a real good sleeper especially after I had kids. I feel like I need to keep one ear open in case they need me. I have a prescription for Trazadone and take it only as needed. Trazadone is a very mild anti-depressant but is used atypical as a sleeping aid. It actually is much cheaper than the herbal remedies. I think it is $3 for a month's supply and I split the pill because I don't need much so a one month supply lasts me about six months.

Good luck today! I know it is tough, but waking up refreshed and ready to conquer the days is a GREAT feeling. I get more done between 6 a.m. and 9 a.m. then I used to all day. :)

[Donell]

Noel, thanks so much for your response, I feel asleep for about 20min this morning after taking my daughter to school;I had the strangest dream, three people that I recognized from elementary school came to see me...I never really considered them friends just new their faces they were my age now, they came to tell me horrible things about myself and how my teachers felt about me,just horrible and in my dream I wanted to go to the corner and buy beer or a bottle...I didn't yell at them or even say what they were saying was wrong- I just felt so bad, they were saying, when I would not come to school; the teachers would put my pictures up as an example how not to be and draw beer bottles on my pictures they all knew I had some kind of problem( I never drank in elementary school-it was around me though), I have to say it was a horrible dream, but in the end they said, they had to go and that they loved me and they were all with me, and they would be back when I needed them,they gave me a hug and drove away . There were three of them. I woke up remembering everything and I didn't want the feeling to go away. Weird!!! sorry for going on and on...but, there is something comforting with letting my thoughts out. it is 1:22 PST and I still hanging in there:)

[Noel]

Hang in there, Donell!
I don't know about others, but I too had some crazy dreams once I quit drinking. Things that would make me scream or talk in my sleep (so says my husband). Some I remembered, others just per hubby's report.

Exercise and good, healthy food have been a lifesaver for me. I have always loved to cook, but once my alcoholism got hold of me, I would prepare good dinners for my family, but I would NOT eat. I have started eating again and I love it!!

For all of my friends out there, here was today's lunch....healthy, quick, colorful, yummy:

this was just for me, so it was a one portion serving.

8 fresh mussels
small can tomatoe sauce
olive oil
garlic
frozen gumbo veggies
Old Bays seasoning to your taste preference
I added fresh diced grape tomatoes, fresh celery, and fresh orange diced pepper too
Heat olive oil, sautee garlic, sautee fresh veggies, add tomatoe sauce, bring to a boil, add frozen gumbo veggies, simmer for 10 mins., add mussels (or shrimp,chicken, sausage, clams, ect.) Cook mixture/mussels until mussels open. You may want to add 2tablespoons water mixed with 3 teaspoons of cornstarch to thicken. You can eat it alone or over brown/jasmine rice. This is full of fiber, color, and low in fat and the fat that is there is healthy fat.

I prepared lunch in 15-20 mins. It was delish, pretty and flavorful. I am a foodie and would have loved to have been a chef if life had not taken me in another direction.

If anyone is interested, I can post recipes every once in a while. I don't give exact measurements as I cook "off the cuff". I just kind-of know what a recipe needs. ;)

Hope everyone is having a great day!!

[Millie]

Noel,
Keep the recipes coming! :)

But, i think you may want to start recipe thread under water cooler section, so folks an find them.

Donell..hang in there!

[Donell]

Well, if i don't have a reason to drink I just got one this afternoon, my truck blew up while i was visiting my mom in the hospital(intensive care)it was parked we had just walked in been there about an hour i looked out the window there was smoke coming from my engine, by the time I made it to the fron of the hospital my truck was in flames, It's an F150 something about the cruize control. But I'm still not drinking. I can't believe this I don't know if it's even covered it completly gone blew up like in the movies. Can't stop crying, no car, no money,and I don't know what to do.

[carol]

Oh, Donell, you poor thing! What a tough situation!


But I'm still not drinking.

But I'm so proud of you! No quick fixes for all this but a clear head will help. Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

[Donell]

Well...I'm on day 3 yeah!! I looked at myself in the mirror after a really good night sleep(thank you god) and my face isn't so puffy...I'm on my way... now if I could lose 100lbs overnight..ha ha. Well gotta go figure out how to get the truck out of the parking stall where it decided to die,how ironic it died at the hospital...i can still make myself laugh without beer, who would have thunk it:) now if i can just make it through today, I have to confess;this morning I thought about switching to vodka because it's not so fattening-I can't think like that, still struggling. God be with me and all of the people riding this Titanic with me.

Carol- I love to cook, your talking to a girl that grew up with restaurants in her family, ended up running one too...I would love to hear about more recipes or even just eye ball it- becuase I call that type of cooking, truely cooking with love:) hang in there too,god bless.

[Donell]

Well I'm on day 4 a little slimmer in the faceand i can stick in my stomach- wow i hope I can hang i there- claims adjuster came out to look at my truck, they said they might not cover the damage becuase its a total loss due to fire so all i can do is pray that they will give me something so i can buy another car. My poor truck blew up, from a factory recall cruize control swithch F150, I am still in shock. I haveless the desire to drink right now but the morning seem to be easier then the afternoon considering i started drinking by 9:30am.
5/12/12 4th day.

Thank god for this web site.

[Noel]

Hang in there Donell!

Having a clear head always helps me to handle tough situations (like your poor truck blowing up) much better. After the initial grouchy-ness, I find I am more patient with my children and more attentive to their needs. I have exercised everyday except for the rainy ones. I have started to eat again and cook with my old flare. From reading lots of posts, I must be one of the few that lost weight due to alcohol. I drank my calories and got to the point that I didn't even try to eat. When I WAS sober, I couldn't seem to choke down food. I am glad it is summer time...fresh corn, peaches, strawberries, okra, tomatoes!! Yummy!

Today I started a journal entry of all the embarrassing, stupid, mean, physical hurts that happened while drunk. I am going to revisit that list a lot.

Donell, stay away from the vodka!!! That is what made me slide the fastest!! Vodka and grapefruit juice was a morning favorite. The wine started at lunch or early afternoon and continued until I passed out in bed at night. That is not a fun ride to be on!

Millie, I will start a recipe thread. I love to share mine and get new ideas from others. Nothing says love like good food! :)

Hope everyone is having a good day...