i am need of help

[calijonni]

my ex girlfriend and the mother to my child has gotten into drinking alot and smoking weed again she used to do harder drugs before we met but after we met i got her off smoking but now since we are broken up she has gotten back into it but the major problem is she is smoking it in the apt with my 1 and half month old son what do i do

[Julliet]

calijonni you are in a tight spot. Still in love with the mother of your baby, and sounds like she is a mess.

My only suggestion is that you recognize that you cannot control her alcohol or drug use. You can tell her how it makes you feel, but she probably isn't going to take you seriously. The only person you can control is yourself. Get help and support from a group like Al-Anon. There are many articles that Patrick has written on this site that you will find helpful too.

Get your baby out of that environment as much as you can. Can you offer to take him for long periods to keep him safe and cared for? Would she even let you take him for a while until she can realize what it is she is doing to herself and her baby? I wouldn't threaten her in any way, but just let her know how much you still care for her, that you love your son, and want to be there for them both in any way that you can. As long as she is drinking and using, you are better off not to be with her. That may be hard to accept right now, but dude, it really is the truth. Seek out any community support that you can find, and keep posting here. There are lots of folks on this forum who can encourage and inspire you.

Even in trying times like what you are experiencing right now, there are blessings for you everyday. Simple small things you might overlook because you are suffering. Open your mind to those blessings and be grateful. That is the place where I started in my own recovery.

I hope you find your blessing today. It is there for you if you are open to it.