Dealing with an Alcoholic Husband

Patrick
  • By Patrick

    If you have an alcoholic husband and you do not know what to do about your situation then here is what you should do.  You should find an Al-Anon meeting in your area and go to it.  If you have to do this in secret you should do it anyway.  If you have to make sacrifices to do this you should do it anyway.  You owe it to yourself to get some help and support and this is the single most important step that you can take in getting some help.

    There are basically 3 things that could happen if you are putting up with an alcoholic spouse.  One is that you could leave the situation.  You can pack a bag and hit the road and not look back.  Most people do not see this as an option but it absolutely is.  Maybe it is nowhere near that point yet but if nothing changes then eventually you might be facing that decision.  It might be the only thing that will save your sanity one day.

    The other thing that might happen is that the alcoholic will stop drinking and seek help for their alcoholism.  This is what you are wishing for, hoping for, dying for.  This is what you want to happen and you have probably found this page hoping for a secret method to make this happen.  There is no magic wand, unfortunately.

    The third possibility is that you continue to live with the alcoholic and they continue to drink.  You can do this rather blindly, or you can do this with help and support and an education so that you are no longer contributing to the alcoholism.  In other words you can learn how to stop enabling and possibly move them closer to surrender and eventual treatment at some point.  Understand though that this can be a very, very slow process and might take years or even decades.  You still might have to make a decision about leaving if you want your sanity back.

    So those are the options.  You leave, you stay and he drinks, or you stay and he magically gets sober.

    Guess which one you can’t count on?  The one where  he gets sober.  You cannot count on that as part of your plan.  Ever.  You have to start living your life and be happy with yourself in such a way that his sobriety is not the source of your happiness or misery.  You have to separate your life and your happiness from his drinking.  That is the challenge that is before you and you are going to need some help with it so I strongly urge you to go to Al-anon.

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