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The author of this website is currently looking for other writers in recovery to network with.
If you have any questions about addiction or recovery, or if you would like to write a guest post (or have me guest post on your website), please email me at:
patrick.meninga@gmail.com
I will usually respond within 24 hours.
You can check out my full story right here, if you’d like.
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{ 114 comments… read them below or add one }
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Dear Patrick, my Father had moved home, and stopped drinking. He told me some of an horrendous cold turkey experience that he went through a few months ago…
Today I phoned him, in the middle of the afternoon, he tried to sound ‘normal’ but I could tell immediately – he ‘explained’ that the awful flu he hadn’t been able to shake was getting him down, so, he had a ‘few hot toddys’…and nothing now left of a bottle of whisky.
He lives nearer to me now, and he doesn’t have anyone else. I shall be honest, I do not want to be responsible for him, but, I do recognise that this is a disease….. he may be needing profound help.
So, I just read some of your website… I am deeply grateful for your insightful information and , please know, it has helped me now, and I will return for more.
Sincerest thanks, and happiness to you
C
I am glad to find this site. I have been on the internet all day looking for on line AA meetings. I found a couple but could not access without giving permission to download stuff. Since this is not my computer, I did not feel comfortable doing that. I am over 120 days sober. I have completed steps 1,2,3. I am currently looking for a sponser and trying to get my AA and PTSD therapy in place so that I can go home. I have had the urge to drink a couple of times but I keep reminding myself that even if it feels good for a moment, it will not be worth losing what I have, and what I have in sobriety is pretty darned good! Finding this site has given me something to with my mind, so thank you.
…. thank you for this web site… it has helped me deal with a abusive stepfather.
I’m only 20 years old but I drank once a week for about 2 months and it was usually between 3 and 5 drinks (never to the point of black out). I stopped drinking weekly and developed anxiety and panic attacks that have been going on for about a month now. Now I fear that I am addicted to alcohol and have since refused any chances to go out and drink. Are these withdrawal symptoms from the alcohol or is it from something else? Am I an alcoholic? What should I do? Will these symptoms pass?
@ Tyler – I would stay off the booze completely for a while if you are no longer experiencing symptoms and see how your life goes. If you are miserable without booze then that is a strong indicator.
Now if you get the shakes then you should seek medical attention, alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous or even fatal. But the withdrawal generally will peak in about 3 days and will not run much longer than a week at the most. This is if you not putting ANY alcohol into your system.
Hello
I have had a good look at your website, it seems helpful to people in recovery as well as those looking for recovery. We are a rehab centre based in Spain, we are a small community that work in our rehab centre based here in Arcos. We are called ‘sobervillage’ and so is the the centre. We beleive on using the 12 steps for recovery, but also a healthy amount of outdoor activities and areas that can lift the spirits, that we loose during our drinking days. plese take a look and let us know what you think.
Many thanks
Clare
Hello to everyone,
Sometimes I just get tired, scared and want things to be different. I don’t like seeing people go through pain. I have a son who is 36 and a heroin addict. Steals from stores, and now has a felony conviction for 3 misdemeanors. I thought he wanted treatment but just could not get a few things done to make it happen. Got caught stealing again and back to heroin, sub-oxen and drugs. Letting go is a hard thing. He has been to meetings, but never a real treatment facility and my guilt for not assist him in that is getting to me. I am going to Texas and would I be wasting my time to get an attorney and see if treatment is an option?
I know pray about it and do the right thing? Offering help…I do not want to feel guilty at some point if I never offered real treatment.
Al-Anon is what keeps me going…I really wanted to hear from some recovering addicts. I hear all kinds of stories. Maybe some moms stories would be great too.
Thanks,
A Mom
on my own detoxing from cocaine and mainly alcohol. could use a pep talk. posted to “detoxing at home,
Patrick,
I am glad you are sober and have a good life now. AA is the most important thing in my life because it lead me to God and took away the obsession from my mind. No treatment was required, but I did struggle for 30 months, this turned out to be a good thing as it humbled me enough to surrender. Good luck with whatever your plan is?
I found some interesting portions of your thoughts on growth etc.
What is the actual plan anyway?
Your comments about recovery before AA is not true. There was almost no
recovery before 1939.
My fear is that people will buy into your negative vibe on Alcoholics Anonomous. Millions sober with a direct plan of action. I have been sober since June 23rd of 2005. AA is not for people that need it. It is not for people that want it…It is for people that do it, helping other alcoholics is what brings me joy, peace and recovery.
Peace
@ Dave – you have no need to fear my message. It works for me, and I see it work for others.
People did “recover” before AA, they just did not go to meetings! Many did it through a “religious experience.”
AA is for people who want it. Your argument is that I am diverting people who might need AA. The program is not for people who need it, they say that all the time in AA. It is for those who want it.
If you have a positive experience in your life, share it with others. That is what I do on this website….
Thank you so much for this site it has been a real help to me throughout getting clean all the way through building my own site in which Addicts are able to help other Addicts. Considering your website ranks so well and you seem to be one of the leading authority websites on addiction help, I was wondering if you could let me know what you think of my site, we must all help each other out, and thank you for that!
Hi Patrick,
Thanks so much for your site- I found it last week when I finally realized that I actually need to stop drinking… and reading and posting in the forum is really my support group. The problem is that now that I have registered, I can’t post at all, and I truly miss being a part of that community. Please let me know how to remedy this. I am at the end of day 8 and am hoping for a lifetime of sober days ahead of me.
Hi Ruth!
Every second of every day, there are over 100 spam bots on my forum attempting to post worthless spam to it. So I finally pulled the plug on them and forced people to register in order to post.
Did not want to do that…..but the spam was creating too many errors, and making the whole site unstable. I also changed hosts in order to handle the new forum.
You can always create a fake email account at Yahoo and register with that if you like.
Patrick,
I just came across this sight. i find it helpful. I have very little tolerace to alchole but i still seem to over drink, hide drinks and have bad behavior and i am trying to work on it, but i have weak moments and they are harmful. I have fallen, hurt my face, break things and get glass in my skin, burn myself, wake up and drink just because. It is effecting my relationships and work. I just need advice to stay strong.
Thank you for your time.
Andrea
What is wrong with forum?
Can’t get into the forums, either.
I have been taking Lortabs for 6 years now and I quit for 4 months in October 2010. I started taking them again thinking i could handle it but it got out of hand. I have been trying to quit but the urges are so strong that I find myself battling and I end up getting more. I need your prayers I know that I can overcome this addiction. I really wished that I never started but it’s too late for that I have a son and I don’t want to be an addict for a mother I’m tired of this. I am gonna start going to meetings at a local church for addicts so that I can have emotional support. Please help me and tell me what else I can do to never start once I get clean because I will in Jesus name. Thanks
I just found out last night that after 11 years of soberity, my best friend of 17 years started drinking again. Right now its beer, but I know where he is headed. I had told him when he stopped drinking that if he ever drank again I would remove myself from the relationship. I just can not go through the hell (DUI, lost jobs, legal expenses, and on and on) that I went through with him before. We live about 1/2 hour from each other, but talk everyday. I have never drank , but we have supported each other in all aspects of our lives. I attended hundreds of AA meetings with him, recognized every yearly anniversary and even spoke at AA meetings giving the other side of the situation. I just turned 60 and this is the worst “present” I could have gotten. By the way, I found out he was drinking because I was in the area, stopped by his house and found a bottle cap. I asked and he admited. I have a feeling there is a medical issue that has prompted this “falling off”. My heart is breaking. Where do I go from here.? Walk away and never look back? Offer support, but not enable?
Thank you for listening.
Bev
Was wondering if you have any useful literature on how to support someone care about through the early stages of recovery – what to expect from them, the do’s and don’t etc as there isn’t much out there on how to support. thanks
I am an alcoholic who is desperately trying to better myself. I am living with my husband who is very religious and feels that any addiction is a choice I am making denying Christ. I have had my days where I wake up and say to him I feel this will be a a good day for me, can you help me out with some of the chores around the house? He will curse me and tell me I’m a looser and should have more self control. I am trying so hard to get to the place I need but my husband is so stubborn. When our friends come by he is non- stop with the drunk comments. Last night a friend came over and he was quick to say ” it ruins it when you have a person who just can’t stop. All week all I have heard is “everyone knows about you”
p
Jamie
I need help i am destroying my family and Marriage I need help NOW PLEASE I have been an druck since i was a teenager and i really need too change my life before this kills me.
I have been there and currently just relapsed. Back on the wagon. I can only say that i have seen sober time and you will not feel better until you stop. Emotions are running high and you may feel like the world is out to get you. Don’t! The worst thing you can do right now is feel sorry for what has become of your life. Change it and do it now! Regardless of what may have happened or what damage has been done you can stop bleeding. Ask for help if you need to! Go to the ER if you need to but stop before anyone else that you Love is hurt anymore. Escpecially You! Do It …. Do it Now! Good Luck to you. However it’s not luck we need… sometimes it’s good old fashion help.
Dear Patrick,
I am veryyyy VERRRY pleased to find this site. I am 23. For the past five years or six years I have been abusing alcohol. I have lost many people in my life because of it, and I feel in a way like I have sacrificed some of my best gifts because of it. That last part makes me veeerrry sad. Well, maybe only parts of them. Maybe its still able to be gained back. Bah, I dunno. Anyhow, Its gotten to the point where I don’t drink every day and I’m aware of the fact that over drinking makes me unhappy and it needs to stop. I realize now I cannot keep trying to talk myself out of drinks. I feel like when I’m planning to go out I know I need to make a strategy for the night and yet its as if the wires in my brain are not connected properly and all walls come down and I can never just have a few drinks. Maybe once in a blue moon I can have just two drinks. I drink to the point of remembering nothing. I put myself in dangerous situations. I’m scared when it comes to drinking but to be honest in the moment I try to make a joke out of the whole thing. But being a five foot seven chick who can drink fifteen beers and then split their chin open is not funny. It’s scary. I have a LOT of anxiety around drinking. Even though drinking is not something I do every day anymore, I’m unhappy with how it’s effecting my life. I’m not sure what I’m asking… Lol. I think I needed to put this in writing. Planing to go to an AA meeting tomorrow morning… How does one stop drinking when it is so supported by our culture and pop culture and is everywhere?!!! Ahhhh. Also, I feel like none of my friends take me seriously when I tell them I stop drinking. I know no one else can fix this issue for me but me but still. Also, all my friends drink like crazy! Help? I’m manic.
Thanks for doing what you do man :)
Ps. I saw your comment about shakes… If you have a mild version of the shakes what are some things you should do? I don’t think its necessary to be seen by paramedics but is there anything health wise I can take to help support my system?
Kate
Also… My ex boyfriend used to punish me when I drank and told me that if I really wanted to stop drinking I would…. :| I resented this.
Kate
Ps. Lol… Thoughts?
Patrick,
Thank you for the information on you site. I’ve perused the internet a few days now, as I recognize that I have a problem with alcohol and I would like to, and need to, stop. I’m not a particularly spiritual person which is problematic, as much advice I’ve found pertains to using faith to help intervene with one’s drinking.
I’m a binge drinker, and while I can go long periods of time without drinking, as of recent the effects of my drinking have become more and more dangerous to my well being, culminating with a night in the drunk tank.
I’m certain this is the wake up call I need to set my life straight.
Is there any advice that you could suggest to those who have specifically binge drinking problems? I find it particularly difficult, as since I have no regular dependency on alcohol (as one imagines the prototypical alcoholic) and have tried to stop before; I always make it awhile, eventually saying to myself, “Oh, I can have a few drinks without doing anything stupid.”, only to find myself getting obliterated after a few ‘normal’ outings of social drinking. Again, I’m certain this wake up call is what I need, but I never want to find myself trying to justify social drinking, as it never works out. What can you suggest?
Thank you so much in advance.
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