Author Bio

Name: Patrick Meninga (you can contact me here)

Age: 33

Lives in: Michigan, USA

* I am a recovering drug addict and alcoholic who has been clean and sober now for over 8 years.

* I work full time in a drug and alcohol treatment center, although I am not a therapist (actually I am a nurse aid in detox).

* I am in a unique position where I get to watch many, many people try to get clean and sober.  I take careful note of what works and what does not.

* I push myself to grow in recovery using holistic techniques.  For example, I quit smoking, started exercising on a regular basis, and work to improve my diet and overall health.  I also strive for spiritual growth and emotional balance.

* I push myself to explore more about what works in recovery and what does not.  I believe that the field of substance abuse treatment is quite young and undeveloped.

* I have written over 500 articles here at the Spiritual River documenting my findings regarding addiction and recovery.

What follows is my story of addiction and recovery (what it was like, what happened, and what it is like now):

I started using marijuana when I was about 19 years old. It was the first time I had ever used any sort of drug. Immediately, I liked it, and commented that “I am going to do this for the rest of my life!” I was a shy person and getting high “fixed” this problem. Shortly after this, I discovered alcohol, and realized that it worked even better than marijuana at “fixing” my social anxiety. Using both drugs was a daily habit and in a very short time I could not imagine living my life without self-medicating any more. Just like that, I was now living to use, each and every day. It had become my purpose. Imagining life without drugs and alcohol was inconceivable—my thought was that there just wouldn’t be any point to it. I believed that I definitely wouldn’t be able to have any fun if I were to somehow get sober.

For the wrong reasons, I attended two different treatment centers over the next couple of years. Each time, the counselors and therapists suggested that I go to long term treatment, and each time, I declined to do so. I felt that long term treatment was far too drastic a solution for my *problem* and that I didn’t need to resort to such measures. They were talking about several months or even years of my life! To me, long term treatment sounded like a death sentence, or at least like a jail sentence. The bottom line was this: I simply was not willing to go to long term treatment, nor was I willing to accept 12 step recovery as the solution to my problem. I hated AA and NA meetings because I was terrified of them. I went back to using drugs and alcohol immediately after leaving both of these treatment centers.

There was no particular crisis that brought me to this last treatment center; I had simply had enough and felt like it was time for a change. If there was ever any hard evidence for a higher power working in my life, it was this: I somehow surrendered to the disease of addiction—as stubborn as I am—and finally asked for help. This time, *I* wanted to go to treatment. I realized that my life was a mess and I finally wanted to do something about it.  I was finally willing to try and change my life in a real and meaningful way.  This meant I was ready to take some action.  Because I had been to treatment before, I knew what was in store for me, so I consider it miraculous that I was willing to go back. My belief at this point was that 12 step recovery was not going to work for me. I also believed that if even if it somehow did work, I would be sober but miserable. Apparently I was miserable enough with my life that I was willing to give it a shot anyway.

My experience in detox was probably fairly typical. I was coming off of alcohol, marijuana, and crack. Nurses tended to me and kept giving me pills so that I wouldn’t get the shakes. I was in detox for 5 days.

In my journey of recovery, residential treatment is just a little blip on the map—although it was still a very important time for me. I was fresh out of detox and might have spent a week or less in a residential treatment facility. Essentially there were three important things that happened. One, I attended lots of groups, lectures, and group therapy sessions. Second, I was exposed to AA meetings on a daily basis, and found them to be somewhat tolerable. I found that I could actually sit through one without freaking out. Third, I was assigned a therapist that was to help me plan my *aftercare*. This was to be of critical importance. In the past, I was never willing to follow up and do any sort of aftercare, because they always recommended long term treatment. This time, I was suggesting that I go to long term.

My therapist listened to what I wanted and found me long term treatment. The program was set up for 12 homeless men, had two groups a week, and required involvement in a 12 step program. A therapist ran the program and basically kept tabs on all of us. The recommended stay here was 6 months to 2 years, and I stayed for 20 months. At 25 years of age, the place saved my life.

Let me say that again: long term treatment saved my life . I never would have been willing to commit to a 12 step program without the help and support that I got from living with 11 other recovering addicts. Before I got clean, it seemed like an impossibility to say goodbye to my friends who still used. I honestly did not think that I could just walk away from their friendship. Long term treatment allowed me to do just that.

For what seemed like a long time, all I did was live in that long term treatment center, go to meetings, and not use. It was what I needed to do at the time. The therapist there pushed me to get back into school, which I reluctantly did. I finished up an associate’s degree and today I am closing in on recently received a Bachelor’s degree.

The rest of my life parallels this as well: I have become a productive member of society on all counts. I work full time, go to school, live in an apartment, and pay my bills. I have a wonderful family and a cool group of friends. Pretty damn impressive considering the mess I was in before I got clean. I am lucky to be alive. What’s truly amazing is that I enjoy this life today, and when I was still using, I hated the idea of sobriety. I could not picture myself having fun or being content with this life that I am now living.

In my own way, I do what I can to carry the message to other recovering addicts. Through full time work at a treatment center, participation in online meetings, and the creation of a recovery related website, I would say that I’ve got my hands full. It feels good to stay involved in helping other people who are trying to recover.

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