Author Bio

Name: Patrick Meninga (you can contact me here)

Age: 33

Lives in: Michigan, USA

* I am a recovering drug addict and alcoholic who has been clean and sober now for over 8 years.

* I work full time in a drug and alcohol treatment center, although I am not a therapist (actually I am a nurse aid in detox).

* I am in a unique position where I get to watch many, many people try to get clean and sober.  I take careful note of what works and what does not.

* I push myself to grow in recovery using holistic techniques.  For example, I quit smoking, started exercising on a regular basis, and work to improve my diet and overall health.  I also strive for spiritual growth and emotional balance.

* I push myself to explore more about what works in recovery and what does not.  I believe that the field of substance abuse treatment is quite young and undeveloped.

* I have written over 500 articles here at the Spiritual River documenting my findings regarding addiction and recovery.

What follows is my story of addiction and recovery (what it was like, what happened, and what it is like now):

I started using marijuana when I was about 19 years old. It was the first time I had ever used any sort of drug. Immediately, I liked it, and commented that “I am going to do this for the rest of my life!” I was a shy person and getting high “fixed” this problem. Shortly after this, I discovered alcohol, and realized that it worked even better than marijuana at “fixing” my social anxiety. Using both drugs was a daily habit and in a very short time I could not imagine living my life without self-medicating any more. Just like that, I was now living to use, each and every day. It had become my purpose. Imagining life without drugs and alcohol was inconceivable—my thought was that there just wouldn’t be any point to it. I believed that I definitely wouldn’t be able to have any fun if I were to somehow get sober.

For the wrong reasons, I attended two different treatment centers over the next couple of years. Each time, the counselors and therapists suggested that I go to long term treatment, and each time, I declined to do so. I felt that long term treatment was far too drastic a solution for my *problem* and that I didn’t need to resort to such measures. They were talking about several months or even years of my life! To me, long term treatment sounded like a death sentence, or at least like a jail sentence. The bottom line was this: I simply was not willing to go to long term treatment, nor was I willing to accept 12 step recovery as the solution to my problem. I hated AA and NA meetings because I was terrified of them. I went back to using drugs and alcohol immediately after leaving both of these treatment centers.

There was no particular crisis that brought me to this last treatment center; I had simply had enough and felt like it was time for a change. If there was ever any hard evidence for a higher power working in my life, it was this: I somehow surrendered to the disease of addiction—as stubborn as I am—and finally asked for help. This time, *I* wanted to go to treatment. I realized that my life was a mess and I finally wanted to do something about it.  I was finally willing to try and change my life in a real and meaningful way.  This meant I was ready to take some action.  Because I had been to treatment before, I knew what was in store for me, so I consider it miraculous that I was willing to go back. My belief at this point was that 12 step recovery was not going to work for me. I also believed that if even if it somehow did work, I would be sober but miserable. Apparently I was miserable enough with my life that I was willing to give it a shot anyway.

My experience in detox was probably fairly typical. I was coming off of alcohol, marijuana, and crack. Nurses tended to me and kept giving me pills so that I wouldn’t get the shakes. I was in detox for 5 days.

In my journey of recovery, residential treatment is just a little blip on the map—although it was still a very important time for me. I was fresh out of detox and might have spent a week or less in a residential treatment facility. Essentially there were three important things that happened. One, I attended lots of groups, lectures, and group therapy sessions. Second, I was exposed to AA meetings on a daily basis, and found them to be somewhat tolerable. I found that I could actually sit through one without freaking out. Third, I was assigned a therapist that was to help me plan my *aftercare*. This was to be of critical importance. In the past, I was never willing to follow up and do any sort of aftercare, because they always recommended long term treatment. This time, I was suggesting that I go to long term.

My therapist listened to what I wanted and found me long term treatment. The program was set up for 12 homeless men, had two groups a week, and required involvement in a 12 step program. A therapist ran the program and basically kept tabs on all of us. The recommended stay here was 6 months to 2 years, and I stayed for 20 months. At 25 years of age, the place saved my life.

Let me say that again: long term treatment saved my life . I never would have been willing to commit to a 12 step program without the help and support that I got from living with 11 other recovering addicts. Before I got clean, it seemed like an impossibility to say goodbye to my friends who still used. I honestly did not think that I could just walk away from their friendship. Long term treatment allowed me to do just that.

For what seemed like a long time, all I did was live in that long term treatment center, go to meetings, and not use. It was what I needed to do at the time. The therapist there pushed me to get back into school, which I reluctantly did. I finished up an associate’s degree and today I am closing in on recently received a Bachelor’s degree.

The rest of my life parallels this as well: I have become a productive member of society on all counts. I work full time, go to school, live in an apartment, and pay my bills. I have a wonderful family and a cool group of friends. Pretty damn impressive considering the mess I was in before I got clean. I am lucky to be alive. What’s truly amazing is that I enjoy this life today, and when I was still using, I hated the idea of sobriety. I could not picture myself having fun or being content with this life that I am now living.

In my own way, I do what I can to carry the message to other recovering addicts. Through full time work at a treatment center, participation in online meetings, and the creation of a recovery related website, I would say that I’ve got my hands full. It feels good to stay involved in helping other people who are trying to recover.

Help for Alcoholism Do you or someone you love need drug or alcohol rehab? Take action and get the help you need right now.

Drug Addiction Help What kind of drug rehab is right for you? Give us a call at 1-877-744-3536

Addiction Treatment Real help is available. We can give you the tools to recover. Start your new life today.

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  • { 46 comments… read them below or add one }

    Patrick April 5, 2009 at 8:59 pm

    Thanks for the kind words, Dana. I agree with a lot of your ideas about recovery. We are still finding the path together, you and I….

    Ben May 19, 2009 at 10:03 am

    Dude! Thank you so much for sharing your experience, strength and hope! You have got some killer ideas and philosophies about recovery that really stir the brain. Keep up the good work, your website really kicks ass! Take care brother!

    Sheila Joyce Gibbs June 14, 2009 at 4:35 pm

    Excellent writing ! And many thanks for sharing your personal trials in life !

    We need more good men like yourself !

    Paul H June 16, 2009 at 3:41 pm

    Hi I’ve read through some of your blog and I enjoyed it very much – many thanks for sharing.

    Terry n Texas July 6, 2009 at 7:28 pm

    I was sitting in a meeting and saw part of your 101 tips and wondered who the “spirit river guy” was and after reading your story I must say that it is a compelling one. I never really got into the whole AA thing although I did use it as a place to start my recovery network. And as most recovering addicts do I tried to get differant results from trying the same things. In the end it wasn’t AA, treatment centers, institutions or jails that got me clean and sober. It was comming awake after a seven month coma and realizing that not only was I missing my right foot, I was missing my wife who was killed in the wreck that my driving caused (everybody has thier own bottom). The sprirtual awakening wasn’t long in following. I have since reconnected with my God,AA, and my friends who are living the life of recovery. And I hope to now count you among those friends. This is just a short part of a forty-five year drug addiction story, but I thank God every day that it is now the best part of the story. Thanks for letting me share.

    rick July 10, 2009 at 10:25 am

    Patrick – I’ve seen you write about attending AA meetings on line. Do you ever GO to a meeting? Hard to find a spiritual awakening in my computer, i would imagine.

    Patrick July 10, 2009 at 7:51 pm

    Hi there Rick

    Yes I have been to over a thousand AA meetings since I got clean and sober but I have probably been to less than 10 meetings in the last 5 years of my recovery. I usually try to make it a point to hit one meeting a year. Why? To pick up my sobriety coin and give some hope to the newcomer I suppose. To be honest though I do not think I made it these last 2 years as I was celebrating my clean time with other addicts and alcoholics outside of a meeting.

    Meetings are not the answer. Meetings are not your salvation. Meetings do not even necessarily point us at the answer.

    They are a tool. They can help you. But they cannot cure you. I have seen so many who put such strong faith in 12 step meetings who have relapsed. Several hundred people, actually. I had this opportunity because I lived in a treatment center for 20 months and now I have worked in a treatment center for 4 years plus.

    Yes AA works for some. It definitely does not work for all. The data to support that assertion is overwhelmingly strong.

    As for a spiritual awakening, I don’t think a meeting is necessarily going to get you there any faster than a computer. Remember that AA meetings are pretty much brand new, they have only been around for a hundred years or so. Thousands of people have had spiritual awakenings before then…..

    I am not anti-AA or even anti-meeting, but you have to see that many get stuck in the routine of meetings and stop growing. Many meeting makers relapse. I just want people in the fellowship to stop spouting about daily meetings and get out there and live and experience a spiritual experience through their own efforts and personal growth. Glorifying meetings as the ultimate solution seems to fail for those around me. I notice that they all have relapsed. I have tried to find a more sensible route, one in which I can still reach out and help others and find real growth in recovery….

    khutso July 15, 2009 at 7:48 am

    Good site

    DARRYL WILSON August 17, 2009 at 9:47 am

    PATRICK. IM NEW TO RECOVERY BUT IM ENJOYING THE PROCESS. IM INTERESTED IN ONLINE MEETINGS IF YOU CAN INFORM ME HOW TO GET INVOLVED IT WOULD BE APPRECIATED.

    Patrick August 17, 2009 at 9:50 am

    Hi Darryl

    I like this place:

    http://stayingcyber.org/forum/default.asp

    chris August 29, 2009 at 9:59 pm

    thank you for this site..it’s amazing what working the 12 steps does in completely changing our lives!!

    Trenchy September 3, 2009 at 9:19 pm

    Hi Patrick,
    Just read one thread from your mailbag (on enabling) and this intro thread and I am really thankful and impressed. I have been looking for something short and to the point to give to my parents who have become my son’s newest enablers. The Al Anon pamphlets I’ve found are insanely ‘dated’ to the point that my parents wouldn’t be able to connect the dots. Anyway, your mailbag thread IS “the ticket”! Thank you!!! My 20 yr old son made a near fatal hanging attempt almost a year ago while on an alcohol and oxy binge. I swore that if he lived I would never knowingly enable him again.We forced him into 4 mos of treatment, but he wasn’t ready. Unfortunately, we will not be able to AFFORD to help him again like that when/if he is ready, so I was sooo hoping to have more confidence in AA/NA meetings:-), but, as you have made clear, the data is not there. They are a tool, but that’s it. Keep up the good work!

    Trish September 25, 2009 at 3:51 am

    Boy some people have alot of criticism for this guy Patrick who so kindly took the time to put this together for all of us. Some insight: a person’s anonimity is for them to decide, credential sometimes come from the “University of Hard Knocks” , and how hard is it to be positive people???

    I would like to say thanks, I read alot of stuff I needed to be reminded about on this website. I really appreciate all the time it must have taken to do all this. You have obviously done your homework. I have found no misinformation here except maybe from a couple of reader comments. Good work! Keep on keepin on! Obviously the miracle is happening for you….

    Larry B. October 2, 2009 at 11:26 pm

    Powerful stuff. Thank you for taking the time to “teach” us in this manner.

    Six months ago I was a dead drunk shell of a man.

    Now I am a new being. I have re-born into sobriety and I am not missing any of the miracles that are taking place around me. In the last 25 years I don’t recall noticing even ONE miracle. I have seen so many in the last six months.

    Your information here will help me in my new life, to avoid pitfalls, to keep my mind on straight. I can’t help thinking that I should be thinking more than just “one day at a time” and your site really validates some of my unspoken thoughts.

    Thanks again!

    Addiction Recovery October 3, 2009 at 4:43 pm

    Sweet bio and recovery story. I like hearing about the successes of others. Hats off to you Patrick and I pray that you will be clean for the rest of your life.

    spencer December 6, 2009 at 3:21 am

    That was an interesting account. I teach adults and on occasion have assigned debate topics for class discussion. There are many marijuana users who seem to think that it is not a “gateway” drug, that it does not have harmful social impacts and should be legalized. I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts on that. How much of a role does marijuana play in the addiction role? Are other drugs as important or more important in this phenomenon of addiction? I’m also trying to start a blogsite dealing with self-help and spiritual perspectives (www.nerveandspirit.blogspot.com).

    Mike January 4, 2010 at 12:54 pm

    Thanks for sharing your story of triumph over adversity and for your passion to end the suffering of others. That’s a wild ride you’ve been on there!

    One day there will be an end to needless suffering. Perhaps not in our lifetime… but sometime :-)

    I’m certain you will do so much good in your life to that end.

    Anabel January 22, 2010 at 7:05 pm

    I’m so happy for you whoever you are and thank you for sharing your experiences and knowledge.

    Patrick January 22, 2010 at 7:12 pm

    Thank you for the kind words, Anabel. I hope you are blessed! Take care….

    Dick B. February 1, 2010 at 2:44 am

    Patrick: Thanks for including your story. You can find mine in text and audio on the front page of my website http://www.dickb.com. By now you know that yours is a “happening” site; and it has produced many visits to my A.A. history sites. I have found, as part of my 23 years of continuous sobriety, that helping a newcomer will achieve success well if it starts with “Tell me your story.” Out here in Hawaii, it might sometimes be “Let’s talk story.” Either way, the fresh newcomer with his bag of troubles, shame, guilt, fear, and the other products of his self-destructive behavior, is surprisingly eager to tell his story if you share yours. It’s the thing that brought Bob and Bill together and resulted in the founding of A.A. And it’s the thing that enabled them to relate to Bill D., AA Number Three, who was almost instantly cured by asking God for help. And this marked the founding of A.A. Group Number One in Akron. Thank you. Dick

    Vern March 3, 2010 at 8:47 pm

    Hi Patrick,

    I’m reacquainting myself with your blog after an absence… It’s even more amazing than I remember. Your advice, your sharing of experience is undeniably rich with first hand knowledge of the subjects you speak about.

    I’ve worked with many persons addicted to substances in the past (MA Rehab Counseling) and I am sure you are doing many people profound good by sharing your expertise here with everyone. THANKS!

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