Options for Dealing with an Alcoholic Spouse
How can you approach an alcoholic spouse, and what should you do about the situation if their drinking is out of control and does not seem to be improving? Unfortunately there is no way to make another person stop drinking. We cannot control each other. It is highly unlikely that an ultimatum is going to work in a case like this as well, although many people have certainly made threats of this nature before. “Stop drinking or I’m leaving” is pretty much the formula for this, but if the person is truly alcoholic, then this is not likely to be the sort of event that motivates them to finally change.
Unfortunately, alcoholics tend to change only after they have suffered a devastating amount of pain in their lives. When things are going halfway decent, they are not likely to change. If they are holding together any sort of life, they are not at the point of surrender that will lead to their quitting drinking. It is only after they have gone through a tremendous amount of pain and misery that they will become willing to take a look at trying a new way to live.
If your spouse is alcoholic then really you have 3 options. You can leave, or you can stay and do nothing different. Neither of these may be what you want. The third option is for you to go get some help. The best place for you to do this is at an Al-anon meeting. If you have been to them before but did not like them, then you should go back to them and give it another chance. Find a different meeting. You need to experience the support that you can get from the people there, and you also need the guidance and advice that they can give you, based on their years of dealing with their own spouses. If you really want to make the best of your situation in dealing with an alcoholic, then you owe it to yourself to go to some of these meetings.
What you can learn there will slowly start to have an impact on the alcoholic in your life. We cannot change people, but if you are behaving in the correct way and you are consistent in not enabling your spouse, then it can start pushing them closer to change. In the end, they may never quit drinking, or you may end up leaving them. But if you are holding out for change then you definitely need to go get this level of support while doing so.
Recommended Reading
Call Today
866-211-5538
24 Hour Treatment
