Addicts Who Refuse Help
Addicts who refuse help can be very difficult to reach in the struggle to overcome drug addiction or alcoholism. The problem is that you can never really change an addict who does not want to change. You can not force someone to seek help if they are dead set against it. You can not force them to want to change either. It is a tough situation and you do not have a lot of options.
One thing that you can do is to learn more about how to deal with an addict or alcoholic by going to an Al-Anon meeting. If you go there you will learn from people who have already learned how to best deal the situation that you are in. They struggled with the same exact issue (powerlessness over an addict in their life) and they sought help in Al-Anon and they found support and encouragement and some solutions. You can do the same and you should if it is really affecting you.
One thing that you will learn is how to stop enabling the addict. This is a fine line and it becomes very tricky when dealing with someone that we love. Basically we have to stop supporting the person in ways that lead them to continue with their drug use. If they need help with something, and it is something that they should be able to do for themselves, then we should not do it for them.
For example, say they are using drugs every day and we offer for them to go to rehab and they refuse. OK, fine. Now they are having car trouble and they need their car fixed so that they can go to work. They need to borrow money. If they can fix their car then they can go to work and then they can make some money and pay you back and so on. Maybe they have kids to support. Whatever. They need money.
Well if they are still using drugs and alcohol then you should not give it to them. Even if you go pay directly at the repair shop, you are still essentially buying drugs for the person. That is just how money works. You can’t support them without supporting their drug habit too.
If you go to Al-Anon you will learn how to stop enabling and how to withdrawal your support of their drug habit. You will learn what it takes to move them closer to the decision for treatment.
It is only after you put your foot down that most addicts will stop the charade and realize that they need to get serious help. If people continue to enable them then they will just go right on and keep on using their drug of choice. But when everyone around them withdrawals their help, then they are forced to examine their life and their actions, and they will not like what they see. They will not like the dependency that they see on others.