Many addicts and alcoholics are guilty of failing miserably at quitting alcohol and drugs and trying to overcome their addiction. In fact, don’t feel bad if you have failed miserably at this and are now beating yourself up over it. In fact, pretty much everyone fails at this before they finally “get it.”
Think about this for a moment. You have probably struggled with drug and alcoholism and you are being hard on yourself for a lack of self control. You are beating yourself up because you have not controlled your drug or alcohol use. Don’t you think that other addicts and alcoholics go through the exact same struggle? Do you realize that every single addict and alcoholic fails miserably at this challenge, over and over again, long before they ever make the decision to finally get clean and sober for good?
It is a long hard road. We do not take the easy path. If we did we would not be addicts. Our addiction is defined by our banging our head into the wall. We have to bang our heads for quite a while before we learn. This is not a moral failing or even an issue of intelligence. It is an addiction. It is what defines our addiction.
We cannot stop on our own and we will try thousands of different angles to try and control our drug and our alcohol use. We will try a million and one ways to have our cake and eat it too. We want to enjoy our drug use and still be able to control it. We want to be calm and civil but still be the life of the party. We want to live and enjoy life and yet still kill ourselves with drug and alcohol use. This is the dilemma of the addict that cannot be transcended. We are trapped in this cycle and we try to manipulate it but we cannot win.
The only solution is to surrender and stop fighting and stop trying to control it. When we try to control our using we only get sucked further into addiction. When we try to control our drug intake we only realize how powerless we are to do so.
If you have failed miserably at controlling your drug or alcohol use, then this is actually a gift. Surrender to the idea that you can not drink or use drugs like a normal person and ask for help. This is the moment when you whole life could change, if you are willing to try a new path. In particular I would suggest:
1) Being open to attending 12 meetings as a starting point for your recovery.
2) Being open to attending drug or alcohol rehab as an even better starting point.
3) Attending counseling or therapy of some sort.
If you are not willing to do any of these things then you are probably not ready to quit using drugs and alcohol anyway at this point.