Addiction help is about empowering addicts and alcoholics to overcome their addiction.
There are 2 parts to this:
1) Either you are a drug addict or alcoholic yourself, and are seeking ways to get help and progress in your recovery, or
2) You are the friend, family member, or loved one of a struggling addict or alcoholic and want to know how you can help them.
We’ll take a look at both of these cases separately.
Helping yourself in overcoming addiction
Here is a possible outline of the progression from full blown addiction to a healthy life in recovery (and how you can take action to further your recovery efforts along the way):
1) Thinking about quitting drugs and alcohol - you might still be using drugs and alcohol, but have started to have your first glimpses past your denial, and can see that you want a better life for yourself. Fear still holds you back from taking the plunge into sobriety.
How you can help yourself if you’re at this stage: It is not yet clear to me if you have to hit bottom first, or if you can consciously make a decision to surrender to the disease of addiction. In my personal experience, it really was more like my higher power reached down and flipped a switch in my head one day. I simply caved and said I was ready to get some help.
If it is possible to initiate your own surrender to the disease of addiction, then the whole key to it is simply to let go. Stop struggling and fighting and battling with the world to keep yourself self-medicated. Give up the struggle and take those first steps towards a scary new life in sobriety (it doesn’t stay scary for long). You only have to ask for help.
2) Turning point or major life event - some addicts make the decision to seek help only after something significant happens in their life, such as going to jail or having their spouse leave them. This is not a requirement to get clean and sober, but everyone has to hit their own bottom before they will surrender to their addiction.
How you can help yourself if you’re at this stage: This just happens to some people. For me it was different…I had not great event that pushed me over the edge. If you do land in jail from a drunk driving (or something similar), then take it as a blessing as disguise and use it as an opportunity to turn your life around. If you are suffering major consequences now, just imagine how much worse things will get if you continue to drink and drug. Addiction always gets worse, never better.
3) Decision – The moment of surrender. The addict says “I’ve had enough, I want to get help, I want a new life.” Any attempt to get clean and sober without this level of surrender and conviction is doomed to failure.
How you can help yourself if you’re at this stage: You’re nine tenths of the way there. The only thing to do now is to ask for help and keep an open mind. Don’t worry so much about your level of conviction….you can’t change it consciously anyway. Focus instead on staying open minded. Pretend your on a great new adventure called recovery and promise yourself that you will go along with the flow and just take it all in as a new experience. This is the next great trip for you. Stay open and ask for help.
4) Early recovery - A learning stage, which is quite delicate and demands support from like-minded individuals. In other words, recovering addicts need to stick together to make things work in early sobriety. This is what makes the infrastructure of 12 step programs such as AA and NA so powerful–the amount of support they offer is unrivaled.
How you can help yourself if you’re at this stage: Focus on your recovery network. This is about interacting with others in recovery. For most, this will involve 12 step meetings, because that’s where the support is at. Start learning about the creative theory of recovery and how it can help you transition into long term sobriety. Build relationships with others in recovery.
5) Long term sobriety – In early recovery, you’re learning how to make it through the day without using drugs and alcohol. In long term sobriety, you’re more concerned with personal growth and development from a holistic perspective, and in fighting off complacency. Our priorities shift because we are changing and growing in recovery. For example, resentments and personal defects such as self-pity might torment us in early recovery and threaten us with relapse, but years later we have worked through these issues and have to shift our growth efforts elsewhere.
How you can help yourself if you’re at this stage: Live the creative theory. Approach your recovery from a holistic perspective, and start growing and learning beyond the boundaries of traditional 12 step recovery. Physical health, nutrition, fitness, emotional stability, education, meditation–these are all potential concepts for you to explore in long term sobriety. Remember that complacency is the number one offender, and you need to push yourself to grow in different areas in order to overcome this. The only enemy now is stagnation.
Helping others in overcoming addiction
There are a number of potential situations with helping others. I’ll try to highlight some of the more typical situations and offer some solutions:
1) You notice that a friend or a loved one is slipping into the grip of addiction. You believe they have a problem and that it is getting worse, but you have not formally addressed the issue with them yet.
How you can help in this situation: You want to be especially careful in a situation like this because there are really 2 possibilities: one is that the person is only abusing drugs and alcohol as a passing stage, and is not really addicted at all. The other scenario is that they are a true addict and this is the start of a potential roller coaster for them. Both situations make it very tricky to approach the subject with them, because in the first case, you are insulting them by suggesting that they are truly sick, and in the second case, you are trying to pierce through a wall of denial that is 10 feet thick.
Think about it: someone who is very early in their addiction is going to have the greatest amount of denial at that point. This makes them very difficult to approach and communicate with in any meaningful way about quitting drugs and alcohol. Why should they quit, if they are still having fun with it and there have been no major consequences yet? This logic will form the basis of their denial.
If this is the case, the best you can do is to alter your own behavior so that you are not enabling them, and offer to help them with their addiction when the time comes. In other words, there’s not much you can do, because their denial is too strong. They haven’t suffered enough consequences from their using yet and so they are not yet ready to take a look at the possibility that they might actually be addicted.
2) You have a friend or a loved one that has been addicted to drugs or alcohol for a long time now, and you both know it. You want for them to get help but they are resistant to the idea.
How you can help in this situation: This is going to involve some level of intervention on your part. The question is: How much? Do you want to take them aside and talk to them in an informal setting, or is it more appropriate to organize a formal intervention? The answer to this question is going to depend on how desperate you are to help the person, and how serious you believe the situation to be.
For example, if someone is drinking and driving on a regular basis, it might make more sense to organize a formal intervention in order to convince them to go to treatment, even if you think there is a risk of the whole thing backfiring and possibly alienating your relationship with the addict (always a possibility).
If you do not judge the person to be “completely out of control,” then it might make more sense to attempt a serious of discussions about possibly seeking help. If you overreact then you run the risk distancing the person from you.
3) You have a friend or a loved one who says they are ready to make a change and that they want help, but they are placing conditions on possible treatment options.
How you can help in this situation: This is denial. If someone says “they want to get clean and sober, but….” then they are not ready yet. They are placing conditions on how they will receive help and this will never work. It is a stage of denial–one where the person will admit to their disease, but they won’t agree to go to any lengths to get help.
In cases like this, I feel like you are wasting your energy when you argue and try to coerce someone into recovery. It is a pointless effort because the person is not ready to change on someone else’s terms. They are only willing to change on their own terms and this means that they are not going to change at all.
The reason for this is because their best ideas got them into trouble with drugs and alcohol. Therefore a true addict or alcoholic cannot find recovery through their own ideas. It is a contradiction to claim that it can be done. An addict is someone who cannot quit the drugs without some form of help. If they could do it on their own then they would not be an addict. Period. So you are wasting your time and energy if you’re trying to convince someone to get help if they are at this stage of denial.
What has to happen is for the person to go try it their own way again, and see that once again it does not work for them. At some point they will become miserable enough and they will finally surrender completely to their disease and they will ask for help and say: “show me how to live. I don’t know how to live life. I am a mess” or something to that effect. That is the level of surrender that is needed. After someone gets to that point, almost anything you do to help them will be more than enough. Something has changed in their heart of hearts and they are ready for real change. Which finally brings us to the last situation you might encounter:
4) You have a friend or a loved one who says they are ready to change and that they will do anything in order to get clean and sober.
How you can help in this situation: Get them to a treatment center or a 12 step meeting. They are ready for change and you couldn’t really screw this up even if you tried. They have surrendered fully and successful recovery–at least in the short term–is inevitable.
It’s possible to offer addiction help but you have to consider what level of denial the addict is in first, or your efforts will be wasted. Notice that in most cases, your best actions are to modify your own behavior to be healthy (meaning that you do not enable them). Make them aware that treatment is available but don’t push it on them; this is wasted effort. Sometimes the best you can do is to help yourself, stop enabling, and live your own life as an example of sobriety.
Meth addiction help
Meth addiction is a special case because there really is no physical detox process other than quitting cold turkey and attempting to readjust to life. Just because there are no serious medical withdrawal symptoms does not mean that it is easy to do, however. Meth addicts can still benefit greatly from going to inpatient rehab and getting counseling and therapy in a controlled environment. Many people who are addicted to meth get help by attending NA meetings and sharing their experience with others.
Quitting meth is just like quitting alcohol or any other drug. The addict must make a decision to change their life, and then they have to take a massive amount of action in order to bring about lasting change. This is no different than overcoming any other chemical addiction, and therefore attending a drug rehab can greatly enhance your chances of success, though it is by no means a surefire cure.
Video game addiction help
There are people out there who do not suffer from chemical dependence, but they may be addicted to video games to a debilitating degree. The question is: “Has it become a real problem?” In some cases the answer is definitely “yes,” especially when it comes to certain online adventure games that require huge time investments in order to make progress. This is definitely the case with World of Warcraft addiction, and there are even treatment centers that have been set up specifically to treat people who are addicted to this specific computer game.
Is this the same as a chemical addiction? Obviously not. But it is in the same ballpark, and many of the consequences can be the same. If someone is making huge sacrifices in their life due to video game addiction, then obviously it has become a major problem. Lost jobs, broken marriages, and lost houses have all resulted due to this type of addiction. It may be somewhat rare but if the problem exists then it needs to be dealt with. Asking for help and admitting to the problem is the first necessary step, and after that is accomplished, counseling may be enough to straighten the problem out. If not, inpatient treatment can be the next step.
Chocolate addiction help
Believe it or not, chocolate actually contains a drug called Theobromine that is chemically similar to caffeine and has similar effects on the body. Of course caffeine can be addictive, so this means that chocolate can be addictive as well. Most people simply believe that they like the taste of chocolate and therefore are “addicted” to the taste, but in fact they may be getting off a bit on this stimulant that is contained in the chocolate as well.
If chocolate addiction is your only problem, then this is not a very serious dependency. Nevertheless, if you are addicted, there are ways that you can try to wean yourself off of the stuff. For example, you may switch over to white chocolate for a while, as that contains less of the chemical stimulant (and more fat!). Or you could just stop eating chocolate cold turkey and probably be just fine with the relatively minuscule withdrawal effects.
Opiate addiction help
Opiates are drugs such as heroin, Vicodin, Morphine, and other prescription painkillers. Being addicted to these can be very difficult when you try to stop using them, because the withdrawal symptoms are incredibly uncomfortable for most people. Therefore, there are a number of ways that you can get help for opiate addiction, including:
1) Detox at drug rehab – there they will give you medication (probably a synthetic opiate) to help control your withdrawal symptoms. You may detox for 3 to 5 days and be completely drug-free when you leave.
2) Ultra rapid detox – this is a procedure where they put you under and then flush your system of drugs. You will be out cold for several hours and when you wake up you will be fully detoxed. Expensive and not yet covered by insurance.
3) Drug maintenance therapy – You take an opiate every day, such as Methadone or Suboxone, in order to avoid other opiate drugs (such as heroin). Can be expensive and arguably not much better than ordinary drug use.
Addiction Treatment
Going to an addiction treatment center is usually one of the best choices for most addicts in most situations. It can be expensive, depending on how you are funded, but it is usually the best choice and produces the best outcomes. There are alternatives to inpatient treatment, such as counseling, group therapy, meetings, or outpatient, but none of these (by themselves) generally can produce the same quality of results as inpatient addiction treatment.
If you do decide to go to rehab, you will get the best experience from it if you are truly open minded about it and fully willing to follow through with any suggestions that they have there. If you are on the defensive, stuck in denial, or generally just resistant to change, then you are not likely to do well in treatment.
Your best bet for getting into rehab is to simply call up local drug rehabs on the phone and ask questions. Find out what it costs, what your options are for payment, if you qualify for special funding, and so on. Many people probably do not realize that they could go to rehab for very cheap or even for free, simply because they never ask. It is worth inquiring about.
Food addiction help
Some people are addicted to eating and they do so to medicate their emotions. This can create all sorts of other problems in their life so it is wise to ask for help and see about getting this type of addiction under control. To do so, it is best to ask for help from those who have had success in fixing the problem themselves. So you should seek out groups such as Overeaters Anonymous or Food Addicts Anonymous. There are some other variations out there but the basic concepts are all pretty much the same. Their goal is almost always to abstain from unhealthy and emotional eating and those programs will help you to further define those boundaries. They all have support groups, sponsorship, and other ways for peers to help each other conquer food addiction.
If you can’t find anything in your area, you could always go online and find support there. Or, start by going to local 12 step meetings such as AA and NA and ask around. Eventually you will find people who can help you. It is a bit more rare but there is support out there for it.
Shopping addiction help
Again, this is a bit more rare than chemical dependency but there are debt anonymous groups out there that can help. I would suggest that you read a book called “Your Money or Your Life” and also start following my buddy Trent over at the Simple Dollar. These 2 actions alone will get you well on your way to fiscal responsibility, especially if you start implementing some of the ideas and concepts you will learn there.
Help for Alcoholism Do you or someone you love need drug or alcohol rehab? Take action and get the help you need right now. Drug Addiction Help What kind of drug rehab is right for you? Give us a call at 1-877-744-3536 Addiction Treatment Real help is available. We can give you the tools to recover. Start your new life today.
{ 1 trackback }
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
Going through a rehab treatment programme can be a trying experience for any person. Beating a addiction is never easy, but with the right addiction treatment, it can be made a little more comfortable.
Lifeworks, a UK based treatment centre can provide you with a treatment that will help you remain successful in beating your addiction.
http://www.lifeworkscommunity.com
an inpatient rehab facility is one of the best ways to begin your treatment. whether it’s a 2 weeks program or as long as a 6 month program. it was one of the best moves i made in my life. i tried outpatient a few times, but it didn’t really work for me. so i decided to go inpatient,and that really put me on the right path to recovery. i only needed to be there 19 days and then i did an aftercare program once a week for about 6 months. so today i am proud to say that i am 4 years clean and sober from crack cocaine and alcohol. so yes, treatment helps. i recommend it 100%.
I agree 100 percent D Parker and I also never had much luck with outpatient treatment, though it does work for some.
I too went to an inpatient residential program and that is what finally set me straight in my recovery. Up until then I had not surrendered and was not willing to follow through with what was necessary in order to stay clean and sober.
I too recommend treatment but I think it is important for the person to be internally motivated. The more they are motivated by external pressures, the less likely they are to “make it.” Just my opinion based on my experience. Thanks for your comment D Parker!
Im so hurt rite nw.i have 2 sisters who r tik users.the 1 jus came outta rehab 7mnths clean,and relapsed lastnite,tiking wit my younger sista,who has also been clean 4 one mnth.hw can i help them…i feel so alota emotions rite nw.pls respond.
Hi there Anonymous with 2 sisters….
I know you’re probably feeling a bit frustrated that your sister relapsed, and maybe even hurt a bit. Or maybe you feel betrayed by it too. All that is normal and it really isn’t fair to you, addiction just sucks like that.
What I would suggest to you is to find a way to talk through some of these emotions that you are having with other people. What is really helpful is if you can find others who are in a similar situation and talk with them about it. There are organizations such as Al-Anon and AlaTeen that can help with this. If those are not available then you might talk with a school counselor or a trusted adult.
The important thing is that you reach out and ask for some help. It is tough to watch people go through addiction and it is not fair to you, so find someone who can talk you through it. Good luck to you…..
I an a social work student working with someone who is an exuser. he is currently in a nursing homoe and is planing to eventually move back in his old neighborhood and is afraid that he might start to use again what sort of steps I can take right now with him in order to prevent him from using again once he is back in his old neighborhood.
Hi there social work student
I would recommend that you urge 12 step meetings in this early stage of recovery. The reason is because there needs to be an emphasis on networking and support in early recovery more so than on personal growth. As time goes on and someone stays clean, they can shift their focus away from networking and more on to their own growth.
But if they are still in early sobriety then you should urge them to move towards networking and social solutions like AA meetings. I would also encourage long term treatment if that is an option for them. Good luck.
i am watching my boyfriend go through the denial stages and this is the hardest thing in the world!!
THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO
except to watch him get worse.
i know he has to want help but it is killing me to seee him like this.
Hi there Alyssa
So sorry to hear about your boyfriend. No there is not a lot you can do to affect him directly. But you can make sure that you are doing everything that you can as far as your own behavior goes. There are other articles on this website that explain how to avoid enabling him and things like that.
Unfortunately we cannot manipulate someone into getting clean. Because sobriety can be so threatening to an addict, trying to manipulate them into quitting can really strain the relationship.
Sometimes the best we can do is to let them know that help is available, and that when they are ready, we will get them connected with the proper resources (such as treatment centers, counselors, therapists, etc.).
My sister has been a member of AA for several years now and I have just found out that she is drinking again. Do I confront her about this (we live many miles apart, so it would have to be by phone or mail) or do I keep praying that she’ll return to her AA meetings…or something else?
Hi there Addy….not sure on how you should approach it but you might want to “do your part” without being overly aggressive about it. In other words, do what you can and let her know your concern. Offer to help in any reasonable way that you can (key word there is reasonable). Offer support. Genuine support. Let her know that you care about her and that is all that matters. Your concern.
If AA worked for someone in the past but they “fell off the wagon” then I don’t see a problem with encouraging them to get back to the meetings. If it worked for several years then it can work for her again. If nothing else there is plenty of support at those meetings.
With any intervention (even an informal one like you are considering) there is a risk of creating resentment and tension between you, but this can be minimized if you approach it with genuine concern and caring. If you are truly worried about your sister then I think it is worth the risk and you should make an attempt to simply show your concern. Good luck to both of you….
Thank you so much for you sage advice, Patrick…I truly appreciate it. God bless you.
I found out this past summer, while I was pregnant with our second child, that my husband was using crack cocaine. He came to me and told me because he wanted to stop. Upon learning this, I supported him in his quest to stop but he never sought out treatment. After him disappearing in the middle of the night a few times and me going through his phone, tracking down his dealer, threating his dealer, changing his number (I was blaming the dealer) and me confronting him about money disappearing from our checking accout, I thought we finally had beat it. I took away his bank card and would take his car keys with me to bed at night. When our second son was born and I was home all the time, we didn’t have any times where he used. He blames me for every time he uses because I nag or push. I’ve talked to his mother about it, we are very close, and even his brother. I thought he was doing well so i gave him his bank card back and he used it to buy drugs. I’ve printed out 4 outpatient facilities for him to call, but he doesn’t. This past week he disappeared at 4am Sat morning and didn’t return until Sunday around 9:30 am. He told me he used and stayed in a hotel where he thought he almost had a heart attack and that was his eye opener. He said he pryed and read the bible and that things are going to be different. I don’t and can’t believe him. He still won’t say the words, “I’m an addict” and refuses to get help. I won’t give up on him b/c he’s my husband and I love him. I said for better or worse and I figure, right now this is the worse. i don’t know what to do.
2 weeks agoe, I asked his mother and brother to help me and sit down with him and talk to him. They said they would, but since he was being so pleasant during his visit, they didn’t want to ruin the weekend by bringing it up.
I feel so alone. I won’t talk to my parents b/c they already aren’t fond of him for other reasons and I don’t want to give them any other reason not to like him. If I ever try to talk to him about it, he gets pissed and says I’m throwing it in his face. I feel like I’m in a prison in my own life. what should I do to get through to him that he needs professional help and he can’t do it alone?
I’m scared he’s either going to kill himself through an overdose or someone else when he drives high. He hates when I talk to his mom because he thinks I’m trying to turn her against him when all I’m doing is trying to figure out how to help.
Please, please, please help me!!!
That is a tough situation Dawn, I can only really advise you to seek a support group in an Al-Anon meeting, I think that would really help someone in your situation a lot. As for the specifics, it sounds like you have done all you can as far as intervening and encouraging treatment. He is not willing to go to treatment just yet and he may not even think he really needs to.
You have tried to push him towards treatment and this has not worked. I think you should seek help for yourself by attending an Al-Anon meeting. The people there will be able to give you more specific advice and guide you towards how you should best behave around your husband. Good luck….
I THINK my husband got influenced into crack. I’m not 100% certain but abandoning us the day I returned from a trip tells me something when wrong while I was gone. Hes now associating with a person who has a drug dealing background in crack. My husband works a 2 week in and 2 week out shift, so really, if hes using, it would’ve been for just one month. Is it too late to rescue him? I dont know if hes using or dealing. Hes making a second trip south next week – and he hasn’t told me either time that he was going south. Hes at work right now but takes his phone off the hook to avoid talking to me. He was such a loving person – cared about his house, kids, grandkids, ME, he looked forward to house renovations, the summer, BBQ’s etc. Now in this short period of time (since Mar.28th when I returned), hes become someone I don’t know. Everything I asked him about that splits up a family, he denies. It was only the other day he said its because we argued too much. I am so at a loss. All I want to do now is rescue him before he gets in too deep. Again, I don’t know if hes using or dealing. If hes dealing, could he be threatened to cut off all contact with his family, just like that? When we have talked, he says he misses everything about the house. When he told me he still cared about me, I know that came from his heart. I’m just very confused as to whats going on; using or dealing. I can’t lose him. WE can’t lose him. He’s right out of character….and especially staying at a ‘dealers’ place. He denies that this person uses or deals…but I don’t know. I just don’t know. Please – any information would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Hi, I have a friend that is Opioid dependent. He is a really talented musician and we tried a kinda intervention with him once it didn’t work. I have managed to stay the one friend he is honest with even though it has been in a deceptive way. In witch I pretend to not have that much of a problem w/ it only because I see that he lies to ppl that get in his face about it. His roommate and I work together and he constantly throws in my friends face every update I give to him on the situation. He has turned his back on him. He is in the denial stage and i see his life starting to spiral. What should I do wait until his life is screwed completly and he wants help? Or do I try to get outside help from profesionals? Im so lost and don’t know what to do. please help
Thanks for all these articles. I am finding a lot of help here. You’re very perceptive for a young guy.
hello I am a drug addict i really want to change my life. I am just sick of being sick with my life. There has to be a better life than this. I am ready and willing to do whatever i have to do to change my life around. I have been a drug addict for23 years I mainly use herion but will still use whatever i can
Hi there Gulyza
If I were you I would try to get to rehab somewhere. It does not matter much about the quality of the facility or what their treatment philosophy is. Just get there and do what they suggest in order to stay clean. I think that is the best move for you at this point.
Good luck
Hi
My son is on drugs and I’m very upset about it. sometimes it looks like he wants to quit. but ,if I mention anything to him about it he’ll lie and say he’s not. should I keep trying to talk to him about getting help.
@ Angel – I would definitely not give up hope, and I would not give up on trying to talk with him about it.
You might be careful in how pushy you are though. Of course it depends a bit on his age.
You might try the approach of saying “look, I found a rehab that can help you, if you are willing to go. I’m not gonna push you. When you are ready to change your life, I want you to come talk to me and tell me. But I’m not gonna badger you about it.”
I am not sure if that is the best approach. But it might get past some of the lying and open him up a bit.
Good luck….
My live in boyfriend has been addicted to sleeping pills for many years caused by an ex wife who got him addicted to them and well basically she bailed ship because his addiction has gotten too far. We were work collegues for many years and i unfortunately was not aware of his drug abuse until late last year. I pitty him in the sense that he has lost everything in his life, but still he continues to support his drug habit. I have tried my best to be supportive and to love him unconditionally. His been in denial and won’t admit that he has a problem. We have tried the intervention thing and trust me, it does not work. If i do find any of his drugs i flush them down the loo. I have never taken drugs in my life and from the way he behaves reassures me how lucky i am that i havn’t tried it or ever will. He has no self discipline and self respect. He takes drugs at work and even drives under the influence of them. I contacted the metro police on many occassions to have a discussion with him, but nothing seems to scare him. In the last year, his had more than 5 accidents. If i do throw him out, he will have nowhere to go as his family has disowned him as a result of his drug abuse. His told me on many occassions that he will drive his car into a concrete slab at 200k’s an hour. I don’t want anything to happen to him. I want to help, but just don’t know how. Talking doesn’t work anymore. He refuses rehab. What else can i do to help this man?
And the other thing is that his a compulsive liar. He goes to various doctors and tells them all sorts of sob stories just to obtain a script for these drugs. I have contacted most of the pharmacies his been to as well as the doctors. I have gone as far as he pharmacutical board to send out emails to all pharmacies. I contacted his medical aid to prevent them from dispensing stage 5 medication to him. This guys takes like almost 30 sleeping pills, i mean that is an overdose. A person like me would be dead by now. He ended up with a middle ear infection because of a drug overdose. There is nothing that actually scares this man at all. I spoke to him about going to church, but unfortunately feels that god in his heart. Apart from his drugs, his a compulsive gambler and gambles all his money away, his alcohol abuse has stopped. At one point he consumed alcohol with the drugs, which according to doctors is lethal. I guess they say you only know a person is when you live with them. Somehow i have so many regrets in allowing him to live with me. I lived a peaceful life and it just turned upside down in split second.