I agree that having “goals” can set us up for failure sometimes. I also agree that viewing our ups and downs as part of a “process” is a very useful mindset as well. In fact, my sponsor in recovery is always big on viewing things as a process.

I also liked what you had to say about expectations. I’m glad to be on the path today (any path!).

Sometime during the early days of my recovery I read this quote: Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words. Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions. Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits. Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character. Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny. Author unknown.

For me, goals are too final and too stressful. And the last thing I wanted in my life is stress. I wanted a word that invited flexibility and wouldn’t disapoint me if I didn’t “make” my goal. I decided on the word process. I love the word. Now I have processes in my life, not goals. I love the idea that it is a gradual change leading to a particular result. The word denotes movement and motion – a perfect word for someone traveling down a path!

I have seen first hand the damage expectations can do. I have seen relationships sour, good students give up, perfectly good companies lose their stock value because of “Wall Street” expectations, a friend relaspe because he didn’t meet his own expectations. Expectations in life are like weeds in the yard: If you find one weed, they’re are bound to be others. I have in my recovery tried to eliminate the weeds in my life so I can smell the flowers. Whatever will be, will be.

“There is no path to happiness. The path is happiness. – Buddha

Bright blessings to you, Patrick. You’re doing a wonderful job.

Steven